Sahithi's Adventures

The Lady’s Tale

The First Kiss

“There was a big festival in my village. I don’t remember what festival it was, but a big fair had been organised. Well, children are usually happy whenever there is a fair and so was I. I went to the fair with my friends, enjoying ourselves, visiting the various stalls that had been set up, eating delicious snacks and drinking sugarcane juice. We even bought some colourful ribbons and bangles.

We were wearing our favourite half sarees, which were not only comfortable but also looked nice. There was one problem though – it prevented us from running fast like boys. We were not slow, but we were not fast either. I realised what it meant to be a girl for the first time at this fair. There was this fellow – Aman; he was the village bad boy – rough, strong, usually rude to people, wealthy and influential.

Now, you know that rich, powerful, influential people usually get away with almost anything. It was the same with Aman. He did things others would usually get punished for but escaped unscathed using his influence. Even the village elders and the law enforcement sided with him. No one dared to oppose him – it meant death for men and humiliation for women.

I was walking with my friends talking and had to pass by a tree where he was sitting with his gang making comments on women and cracking lewd jokes and, in short, enjoying himself. As we came near, he started on us. We ignored him since we all came from middle-class families and couldn’t afford to offend him. His men surrounded us and we had to stop.”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Home, Dora(lord).”

“Let me see what you have bought.” His men almost snatched the bags we had brought to keep our purchases. We didn’t resist – it would be useless. “Hmm. Bangles.” He remarked. “You!” he pointed to me. “Come here.” I went to him, my heart beating fast praying that he would not do anything to me. “Give me your right hand.” I hesitated. “Give me your hand, girl.” He raised his voice a little but that was enough for me to obey him.

He put the bangles on my hand, making them tinkle, enjoying the sound they made as he passed his hand over them. He then took my left hand and put some bangles on it too. He then took both of my hands and made the bangles jingle by shaking my hands. All this was making me nervous – I was an unmarried girl. And you know how important it is for a girl to have an unblemished name. If anyone thought I was associated with this ruffian, I would never get married.

He pulled me closer, making me almost fall on him. I was close to him – too close for my comfort. He passed his hand over my right hand, taking it over my right shoulder, passing it over my back, pulling me closer. I still couldn’t say anything – I was too afraid of him to say anything. My face was already red with shame – my friends stood nervously looking everywhere, afraid that someone we knew would see us there, with him.

“Ah!” he said huskily as he breathed in deep inhaling, as I thought then – my sweat. I didn’t know that teenage girls exude these pheromones giving off a scent that attracts men. He pulled me closer, one hand on my waist and another on my back. It was my first hug – a hug that was meant for my husband. He pressed me closer to him, my soft balls digging into his broad chest. That was the first time a man had hugged me like that.

After what seemed to be hours, he slowly raised my head, looking at my face. I had lowered my eyes to avoid looking at him. “Look at me!” he commanded. My eyes flew open despite my mind telling me not to. Those eyes were a deep blue, like the ocean. They held great depths that I thought I could lose myself in. I didn’t understand why I was not feeling angry; I just stood there like a doll, letting him kiss me in the open, in front of everyone. It was enough to ensure that I would have a blot on my character forever. Yet, there I was, never breaking that kiss which would have angered me. Perhaps I was surprised, perhaps I was shocked, perhaps I resented the fact that I was not getting married while girls my age were either pregnant or mothers to five-year-old kids.

When he broke that kiss, the first thing I noticed was the silence. It was deafeningly loud; it made me turn around in confusion. Where had everyone gone? It had been so noisy till then. My friends stood there with their hands on their mouths, their eyes expressing their shock. The rest of the people who had come to see the fair appeared to be watching too. I realised why they were silent – the bad boy of the village had kissed a girl belonging to a respectable middle-class family, in front of everyone. I stood there too stunned to do anything.”

“Why didn’t you slap him?” Sahithi asked.

“How could I? He had destroyed a girl’s life just because she had slapped him in a closed room and imagine what he could do if I slapped him in public. Besides, the thought never crossed my mind.”

“Did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“The kiss.”

“Oh, that! Yeah, it was good but I couldn’t say that, could I? So, I did the next best thing I could do.”

“What did you do?”

“I ran home.”

“What!”

“Yes. I ran home literally, leaving my friends at the fair, leaving the villagers who had chosen to watch the village ruffian kiss an unmarried girl in front of everyone. I ran home and fell on the bed in my room. The enormity of the situation sank in when my father came home from work the next day.”

“What happened?”