HER SOLACE

The Day My World Collapsed 2

I paid the driver and quickly got out of the taxi, heading toward the nursery school. Bryan's class hadn't ended yet, but I needed to take him home as I was ordered by grandpa. It wasn't easy to convince Sister Caroline to let me take him out of school before recess. She was very strict with her pupils, but I managed to get him out. Bryan and I took the same taxi back home. He kept asking me to buy him kebabs whenever we passed a BBQ stand on the street. I bought him five, since I had some money on my phone, though I rarely spent it unless it was an emergency.

***

Hours passed, and that night around eight-forty pm, I heard my grandpa groaning upstairs. It's only after some minutes since Bryan and I had just left his room. We had been chatting, and he seemed all right. So, I quickly went upstairs to check on him. By the time he groaned, I was talking to my boyfriend, Ethan, a photographer. We had been in love for a while, but it had been a week since he last visited me. When I heard my grandpa groaning, I hung up and rushed upstairs. Bryan was watching cartoons on TV. When I entered his room, grandpa signaled for me to close the door. I did it, then pulled a chair for myself to sit by his bed. "I heard you groaning from downstairs. What's wrong?" I asked, gently touching his white hair. He winced in pain, but it seemed like he was trying not to let me notice. I wasn't that junior, not to detect a possible thing going on.

He cleared his throat with difficulty, as though something was stuck in his throat, and began blurting out, "First off, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me, especially for not being able to help physically. I'm sorry for not telling you what I should have warned you about. I'm really sorry I'm going to leave you soon. I'm sorry I won't be able to see you and Bryan grow up, see your marriages, see my great-grandchildren, and see you become the woman of your dreams..." His voice cracked with emotion, and the lump of tears in his throat seemed about to burst. I didn't fully understand what he was trying to say until I felt tears running down my own cheeks unknowingly. "You must be pranking me!" I whispered, but he responded, more seriously this time, "No. This is not a joke. I'm running out of time, you see." He went on "Actually, Teacher Anna is your aunt_ biological aunt." I heaved, "My what? That's the most impossible thing I can ever imagine! Not worth thinking about."

"Wait until I finish speaking before you interrupt again," he said with urgency. "I told you; I'm running out of time. Anna is about three or four years older than your mother. There were family issues that caused a rift between them, which is why she treats you the way she does. In the living room, there's a bookcase, isn't it? You'll find an envelope inside the yellow encyclopedia. Open it, and you'll find more information. I feel like I can't go any longer. I'm sorry for unreliable information." I sat there, silent, trying to process everything he was saying. I had never seen my grandpa so serious like he was. He was even crying. I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn't believe him right away. I tried to ask about what the family issues, but he said I would understand later. Bryan entered the room, but grandpa didn't want him there. He motioned for me to get Bryan out of the room, which I did quickly, handing him my phone to play games.

Once Bryan was out, grandpa continued: "I need you to do me a favor once I die. Bury me in the coffin in the basement. I bought it. Don't waste your time after burying me. Use my pickup truck in the garage and drive to the address you'll find inside the envelope. That's the safest place for you after I'm gone. Please, be on time. You don't want to see your life destructed, do you?" It's already destructed. I wanted to answer. He stopped speaking, tears streaming down his face. I was speechless, my heart shattering into pieces. I couldn't even form a word so well. "I know you can't leave me like this," I whispered. "We still have so much to—"

Suddenly, grandpa groaned loudly, so painful that it made my heart jump. "Go get me a glass of water," he managed to say through the pain.

I rushed downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, and ran back up. When I entered his room, I found him silent, eyes closed. I called his name twice standing in the doorway, but he didn't respond. My mind brought a thought which I wanted to believe was wrong, but it was already late for both of us. I dropped the glass on the floor, rushed to his side, and cried, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Wake up! Please, open your eyes!" But there was no answer from him. When I touched his neck, there was no blood pulse. His heart wasn't beating. He was gone. I realized it though I never wanted to believe it instantly. I cried silently, trying not to let Bryan hear. My heart shattered into pieces. The most important person in my life was gone. I felt hopeless. I sat by my grandfather's body, recalling all the memories we shared and trying to come up with a white lie to tell Bryan so he wouldn't make things harder for me. I walked out of the room, locking it behind me, taking the keys with me.

***

Downstairs, I forced a smile for Bryan and hugged him tightly. "It's another best year of our lives, Bryan," I said, holding him close. "Angels have come to take Grandpa to heaven. They gave me a message for you—they want you to be stronger than you've ever been before." "Oh, I see. I am used to it. When are they taking us too? I wonder when," Bryan asked, hugging me back. "They don't want to take us prematurely," I lied. "They're waiting until we grow old enough."

Thank God, all the little lies I told him worked. I had lied when Mama passed, I had lied when Papa passed, and I lied that day too. I wondered how it would be if Bryan ever finds out the truth behind the lies, I told him. Maybe then, he would understand why I had to say untruths. Perhaps he would understand that I was trying to protect his mental health. That night, I couldn't sleep. I spent the whole night on the balcony with my duvet and phone. My mind replayed all the memories I had with my grandfather: the day he bought me an iPhone 12 for my 15th birthday, when he taught me how to drive, the time we rode horses in Drammen, and the unforgettable day we spent at the ski resort in Stavanger. Memories never die. I earned. I found myself wiping tears away without realizing how they had come.

I decided to call my boyfriend, Ethan, at 1 a.m. I hoped talking to him would help calm my mind. After a few rings, he answered immediately. "Hello babe. Is everything alright? You're calling so late…"

"Everything is terrible. My grandpa is gone. He's gone…" I said, my voice breaking as I spoke. "Oh, babe, I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't worry, we'll get through this together. You're not alone, you have me. I might not be enough, but I promise I'll do what I can..." Ethan said, trying to comfort me. His words brought a small sense of consolation but the thought of having my grandpa gone, persisted still. I thanked him for it and asked if he could come to help me bury Grandpa in the basement the next morning. He offered his support, and we talked about our dream of going to Paris together. Talking to him eased the pain, even though it's just a spot of it. "Good night, sweetheart! I love you!" Ethan said, before ending the call.

***

The next morning, I woke up early, took a hot bath, and went to Grandpa's room to say some prayers for him. Bryan was still asleep, and I didn't want him to wake up before we bury Grandpa. After saying my prayers, I locked the room and went downstairs. I sat in an armchair and scrolled through my social media. I had always dreamed of becoming an influencer. As I watched the sun rise over the hill in the distance and scrolled through videos, I heard a knock at the door. I wasn't expecting anyone but Ethan. I stood up, smoothed my dress, and ran my fingers through my hair to make myself look presentable before answering the door. To my surprise, it wasn't Ethan—it was the bill collector, the man who came to remind people to pay their electricity, water, and internet bills. He was a fat man with a bald head, thin lips, and a round face. "Go away! I know I must pay, but don't knock to people's doors as though they owe you. You nearly broke the door!" I snapped, slamming the door behind me.

I sat back in my armchair and my eyes stopped at the family photo frames over the bookcase. But then, I heard another knock, even louder this time. "What's with people today? Can't they knock fittingly or even be patient?" I shouted as I walked toward the door. When I opened it, I felt a surge of embarrassment—there was Ethan, standing with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He hugged me tightly. "I understand," he said softly. Bryan was still in his room. Ethan and I quickly got into work--burying Grandpa in the basement. Once we finished, I asked him to stay for a little while, and I made us tea with some toast. We sat together, sipping the tea.

Afterwards, a romantic moment swept over us. Ethan embraced me warmly, kissed my neck, and then planted a soft kiss on my lips. His hand stroked my hair, while the other rested on my belly. But our moment was interrupted by Bryan, who appeared in the stairway, yawning.

***

When Ethan left, I went to search for the envelope that was mentioned by grandpa when he briefed me. It was hidden inside the encyclopedia. I tore it open, revealing two papers inside. One contained an address, and the other, some Latin words I immediately recognized. The address was unfamiliar to me, so I used Google Maps to locate the place. To my shock, it led to the far North, to a city called Hammerfest. I had always harbored a deep disdain for the North and its people. They were responsible for my father's unassisted demise. Timely intervention could have preserved his life. Though my heart recoiled from the prospect, visiting this place became an inescapable obligation. I had to proceed with utmost urgency.