She Says When

Chapter Four

Evryn

Malrik’s words hang in the air like smoke–suffocating. My fingers curl into the thin blanket, gripping it like it’s the only thing tethering me to the ground. His smirk hasn’t budged, and the way his eyes rake over me makes my skin crawl, like ants marching under my clothes. I don’t move. I don’t breathe too loud. I’ve learned the hard way that reacting only makes him hungrier.

“Get up,” he says, his voice sharp now, like a blade slicing through the quiet.

I slide off the bed, slowly, keeping my eyes on the floor. The lumpy mattress creaks as I move, and I swear the sound echoes louder than it should. My hands tremble, but I shove them into the pockets of my threadbare pants to hide it. Malrik doesn’t like weakness, but he loves fear. I can’t give him either. He steps closer, boots thudding against the cracked floorboards. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes is nauseating. “You’ve been gone too long, Evryn,” he says, dragging out my name like it’s something he owns.

In all actuality, he does.

“Thought you’d forgotten your place.”

I swallow, throat dry. “I haven’t,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. It’s steady, though. I’ve practiced keeping it that way.

His chuckle skitters across my skin like a thousand ants. I feel the weight of his presence looming over me. “Good girl.” His hand reaches out, fingers brushing my jaw, and I fight the urge to flinch. His touch is cold, possessive, like he’s marking something he plans to break later. “You’re gonna make up for lost time.”

The room feels smaller, the walls closing in. My heart hammers, but I keep my face blank, my eyes fixed on a chip in the paint behind him. I’ve survived him before. I can do it again. I just need to stay invisible, stay small, until he gets bored and leaves.

A loud knock on the door cuts through the tension. Malrik’s hand drops, and he turns, snarling. “What?”

The door cracks open, and Jimmy’s head pokes in, his face tight with nerves. “Alpha, you’re needed in the war room. It’s urgent.”

Malrik’s jaw clenches, and for a second, I think he’s going to ignore it. But then he steps back, his eyes narrowing at me like I’m the one who interrupted him. “Don’t go anywhere,” he says, pointing a finger at me before turning and stalking out. The door slams shut, the sound rattling the flimsy walls.

I exhale, my knees buckling as I sink back onto the bed. My hands are still shaking, and I press them against my thighs, trying to steady myself. I lower my head, sucking in a deep breath–trying to calm my nerves. It doesn’t work, because he will be back. I know he will.

I glance at the duffle bag on the dresser, half-unzipped, my pitiful belongings spilling out. There’s a small, folded piece of paper tucked inside, one I haven’t looked at in months. I already know what it says. I’ve read it so many times, I'm surprised the paper is still in one piece. It’s my way out, a name, a place, scribbled in a moment of desperation before they dragged me back here. It’s a fragile thread, maybe, but it’s all I’ve got. I can’t let myself think about it too long, though—hope is dangerous in a place like this.

Footsteps echo in the hall again, lighter this time. I tense, expecting Malrik, but it’s Lina who slips through the door. Her short black hair is damp, clinging to her forehead, and her bandaged knuckles look redder than before. She’s carrying a small cloth bundle, and her eyes dart to the door before she closes it softly behind her.

“You okay?” she whispers, her voice barely audible over the hum of the compound’s flickering lights.

I nod, but it’s a lie, and she knows it. Lina doesn’t push, though. She steps closer and sets the bundle on the bed next to me. “Brought you something,” she says, unfolding the cloth to reveal a small, stale roll and a bruised apple. “Snuck it from the kitchen. It’s not much, but…”

My throat tightens. “Thanks,” I manage, my voice cracking. I don’t deserve her kindness, not when I can barely keep myself together. Lina’s always been like this—quietly defying the cruelty of this place, even when it costs her. She almost always helps me after his visits.

They’ve come more frequently lately. I shiver at the thought of his hands on me but even I know there is no way out of it. If he wants me he will have me and I better be the obedient dog and submit. Something I am used to doing. If it wasn’t for Lina, I think I might have been dead by now. I still don’t know how I healed through the torture of him and his four guards.

She sits on the edge of the bed, her weight barely shifting the mattress. “Heard them talking in the hall,” she says, keeping her voice low. “Something’s got Malrik riled up, even more than usual. They’re putting extra guards to the perimeter tonight.”

My stomach twists. “Cinderfall?” I ask, barely breathing the word. I’ve heard terrible things about Cinderfall, and I hope to the moon goddess he never trades me to them. I don’t think I would survive it, even with Lina’s help.

Lina shakes her head, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Don’t know. Maybe. Or Ravendale. Someone’s poking the bear, though.”

She glances at me, her dark eyes searching. “You need to be careful, Evryn. If it’s as bad as I heard, he’ll be angry when he returns. You and I both know he will come back for you.”

I nod, my fingers wrapping around the apple. Its skin is soft, almost mushy, but it’s better than nothing. “I’m always careful,” I say, but the words feel empty. Careful doesn’t keep you safe here. It just keeps you alive a little longer. She places her bandaged hands on mine, and I look up at her with tears that threaten to fall. “I… I need to tell you something.” I swallow hard and clear my throat.

She looks at me confused. “I met someone, someone who could help get me out of here. We can go together, Lina. We can do it.” I wait for her to say something, anything really. But she doesn’t. She sits there staring at the wall behind me with a blank look on her face. I start to panic and think I made the gravest of mistakes by telling her. I thought we were friends but what if it was just a ploy? A sick game Malrik is playing and I just lost.

I see a tear fall from her pretty brown eyes. She faces me and smiles. “I’ll get what I can and stash it away. Don’t let anyone know about this. If we are going to leave then we need to be smart. Malrik has eyes on you. I will start preparing, you just let me know when and I will make it happen. We are going to leave this f*****g place and start over. Oh, could you imagine…” she goes on and on about what life will be like if we pull this off and my worry fades away.

Lina stands, brushing her hands on her stained uniform. “I’ve got to get back before they notice I’m gone. Just… don’t let him see you break, okay?”

I meet her eyes for the first time tonight, and there’s something there—something fierce, like she’s willing me to hold on. I nod again, and she slips out, leaving the door slightly ajar.

The compound hums around me, a low, restless buzz of voices and footsteps. I take a bite of the apple, the sour taste grounding me for a moment. My eyes drift back to the duffle bag, to that folded piece of paper. I don’t know if it’s a way out or just a dream I’ll never reach. But as the walls creak and the lights flicker, I know one thing for sure: I can’t stay invisible forever.