The Need To Be Perfect

It's Lonely In Here

So many people think it's easy here. It's not. The students are silently trying to make each other less perfect, the teachers are always looking at us like idiots and this place expects nothing to be wrong with us. To say no one here is completely sane is an understatement; nobody is. The haunting sounds of my friends screams as they were pulled from the room, create constant nightmares for me. This is why I am up, once again, before the sun staring into the abyss.

We have no windows in this place, no way to see the outside. I wish that I could waltz into the night or day, twirling around in the grass and rolling down endless hills. This is what I think about on nights the memories stop being my friend. On these nights, I think about what it will be like once I am out of this place. Once I am freed from this torment.

I have received more than a few letters which come from the outside world, many saying that this place must be a slice of heaven. A place where nothing can go wrong. I can not answer them with the truth, for I would be deemed imperfect for saying so. There is no harm in lying to them, no harm in saying that this place is my dream and im so thankful for it being here, blah blah blah. I have this response drafted ad copied a million times in my draw. I just read the letter than hand one of these copies to the person who collects them and no ones the wiser.

My desk holds minimal and like my room, is only there to make me look wise and perfect and sophisticated. Walking over to my desk, I take the flash light from the top and step out of my room. The guards are not walking past this hall at this time, but they will in another 5 minutes. Walking through the halls, no breeze blows but it still is freezing. My bare feet do not help my cause. I walk down 3 hallways before finally getting to the room I wanted; the documents room. This room held all of our files and history within. It's locked though, by a 4 digit code.

It's been 4 weeks since I started trying to c***k the code. Each night, I would sneak here to try 2 another versions of the possible code. Lucky for me, I had figured out that only after 3 incorrect tries, did an alarm go off and the computer take notice of them. 2 incorrect tries though, went unnoticed. These incorrect tried reset every 2 hours.

Typing in the code 4268, the door opened without a sound. I was in. After weeks of trying, I was finally in. The air inside this room was stiffer, as if it hadn't seem fresh air in some time. Dust floated down from around the ceiling making my chest tighten. Coughing quietly, I scanned the rows and rows of stacked documents. There would have to be at least 1 thousand document that I could see, but it continued for a far while back.

They were arranged by both year and alphabetically by first name. My year was pretty easy to find, it was close the the front. Plus my name began with an A, so I was right at the beginning. Picking it up, it looked rather big. Why were there so many files in here?

Grabbing a plastic folder that was in my files out, I place the file back and slipped back into the hallways. I had less than 3 minutes till the guards would be near these hallways. Pretty much sprinting to my room, I ducked back in just before they came around to check no one was up.

Tucking the plastic folder away in my spare pillow case and placing it under the matress, I lied back down and slowly sleep came to me.