Agent 1 (Book 3)

Chapter 12

Thirteen's POV

I keep the hood low over my head and lean back against the tree trunk. I tuck my hands into my sweater pockets and swing my legs back forth in a steady rhythm from the thick branch I'm sitting on up in the tree.

I listen to the kids laughing as they run around the park. I listen to the birds chirping, the dogs barking, and the parents talking. A couple of teens stand near the edge of the park talking to a couple others on bikes. A skateboarder rolls by underneath the tree I'm in but either doesn't see me or just doesn't care.

I keep running that word through my head. Monster. I can't believe that's really what Lily thinks of me. That thought alone hurts worse than any wound that's ever been afflicted on me.

There's the sounds of footsteps walking towards me but I pay them no mind...at least, not until they stop under the tree.

"Are you going to come down or are am I going to have to come up?"

I glare at her. "Get lost Lydia." I growl.

She just shrugs and grabs hold of the lowest branch, beginning to pull herself up. She winces as she continues to climb till she's sitting on a branch on my left, but slightly higher up than the one I'm on. Obviously that brought a lot of pain to her gunshot wound but I don't care. She did ditch the sling though.

"If you're planning on killing me," I make a sweeping gesture to all the people. "You picked the wrong place to do it. Too many witnesses."

"Oh please. If I was planning on killing you you'd be dead already." Lydia says in a smug voice. I roll my eyes.

I ignore her but she doesn't leave. Though she doesn't initiate a conversation either. Curiosity finally gets the best of me. "How'd you find me?"

"Easy. This is where Mom use to take us when we were upset."

"I hate that you remember that." I grumble.

"She was my mother too."

"I'm not entirely convinced you weren't adopted...actually you and Dad are both asses, so I guess I must be the one who 's adopted."

"You're not adopted." Lydia says in irritation.

"No." I agree. "That'd be too much to ask."

I can feel Lydia's glare burning a hole in my head but I continue to ignore her. "Why are you here?" I question.

I see her shrug out of the corner of me eye. "Thought maybe you'd want to talk to someone." She says casually and I begin to think I heard her wrong.

It takes me a minute to process the fact that she's not being a heartless b***h for once. "Well then you should've sent Sam, Devin, or Chase. You're the last person I want to talk to."

Lydia shrugs again. "Not Cody or Zack?"

I give her a glare out of the corner of my eyes. "Zack is freaking clueless right now and Cody's probably too pissed off with me and Sam to actually listen without blowing up in my face about it." I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes.

"They know your name now." Lydia says simply.

"They know my nickname." I correct her. "It's not the same thing."

"It doesn't bother you?"

I shrug, my eyes still closed. "They'd have learned it eventually."

It's quiet and I just go back to listening to everything, trying to clear my mind, but the only thing I seem to be able to hear is that damn word. Monster.

Unsurprisingly Lydia breaks the silence. "Why don't you like it?"

I open my eyes to look at her and furrow my eyebrows together in confusion. "Like what?"

"Your name. You never had a problem with it before."

"I do like it." I mutter.

"Well then why did you stop going by it?"

I'm quiet. I don't answer right away and instead turn my head away from her and stare out at the view of the park from where I sit. Finally I just shake my head and give a little shrug.

"A name's an identity." I finally say. "And I stopped knowing who I was a long time ago."

"Well you're not a monster." I turn to look at Lydia. "That title would go to me before it ever got to you." She says.

"Why are you being nice?" I ask bluntly, ignoring what she said just a moment ago.

She gives me a disbelieving look followed by a glare. "I'm not." She says firmly. "Think of it as me giving you some words of wisdom."

I narrow my eyes at her in suspicion. "That's what's commonly referred to as nice."

She rolls her eyes at me and seems to just ignore my statement all together. "You seem to forget that Lily was in a comma for nearly five years-"

"I'm not likely to ever forget that fact." I interrupt harshly.

Lydia glares. "I wasn't finished." She states. "She didn't get the time-the years-you had to move on from your team's death." I turn away from her. "For her it's like no time has passed. It's like how it was for you immediately after they died. She hasn't had the time to move on and put it in the past. How long did it take you to do just that?"

"A couple months." I mutter dejectedly, still not looking at her.

"Lily hasn't had those couple months. She's been smiling and pretending otherwise that she's fine but for her this is all still very fresh." Lydia pauses for a moment before continuing on. "And I think the fear you're seeing in her eyes is the fear of losing you. You're all she has left right now and she's terrified of losing the last-the only-thing she's still holding on to."

"You're telling me to cut her some slack." I state.

"She didn't mean what she said. Even a fool could see that."

"She hurt Sam. Badly. I can't just ignore that." I mutter.

"Yeah well, she believed he really hurt you."

"It was an accident-"

"I know that." Lydia interrupts. "Anybody who looks at him could tell he's got PTSD."

"Lily didn't seem to notice."

"Lily's too busy trying to sort herself out to worry about others right now...or at least other people she doesn't care about. She was just bottled up for an explosion and you pulled the cap right off."

"I guess." I pull my hood off and run a hand through my hair. "We just never use to fight like this...now it's beginning to become a common occurrence."

"She needs time." Lydia says. "And she's doing what you did."

"What did I do?"

"You looked for someone to blame, and right now she's blaming you."

"I'm not going to stop her. She has every right to blame me."

"Well that's not my problem." Lydia says dismissively. "I personally don't care who's fault it is or who gets blamed."

"Thanks." I mutter dryly. "Your words of wisdom are the best thing I've heard all day." I add in sarcastically.

"I'm just trying to get you to try and see things from her point of view. She's still not completely herself yet."

"So you're trying to tell me it's not her fault she attacked Sam."

"No it's definitely her fault, but I'm trying to get you to see why she's acting the way she's acting."

I let out a long sigh. "You think I should be a little more...human with her, don't you?"

Lydia shrugs. "That's up to you." She swings her legs over the branch and drops down to the one below it before climbing the rest of the way down.

"Why do you care?" I call down to her.

"You may hate me...but I never said I hate you." She shrugs again and turns away. She stops walking after a few steps and turns back to me. "And I'll help you out without complaint or any further...altercations, but you have got to take Sam's gun away."

She touches her shoulder and winces slightly. She pulls her fingers away and there's blood coating the end of it. She just wipes it on her shirt absentmindedly. "Shouldn't have climbed the tree." She mutters lowly. I ignore her.

"I'm not taking Sam's gun away." I tell her. "If anything I'm giving him another one."

She nods before turning away and walking off. She doesn't turn back around and I don't stop her. I take a second to gather my thoughts before swinging my legs over the branch and start climbing down, carefully avoiding putting pressure on my wrist.

I walk over to my motorcycle and take the helmet off the seat. I hold it in my hands for a moment and tap the top of it with my finger. I have my motorcycle, my wallet, and quite a few of my weapons.

"Don't even think about it." I spin around to face Lydia as she crosses her arms over her chest with a stern look on her face. "You'll only get yourself killed."

"What do you care?" I retort hotly. "And what exactly do you think I was going to do anyway?"

"Run."

I scoff at her and send her a hateful glare. "I'm not going to run."

"Right sorry." She says sarcastically. "I worded that wrong. You were going to go off and find Garrett by yourself." I give her another glare. "So I'm right aren't I?"

"There's a first time for everything."

She shakes her head. "Still think it's a bad idea. You'll get killed quicker."

"Quicker?" I repeat. "So you're already convinced I'm going to die anyway."

"Oh I'm certain of it. When it comes to Garrett you hold back. That'll be what gets you killed."

"I'm a solo agent. As in, I don't work with a team. They shouldn't even be here. I can complete this mission without them."

Lydia scoffs. "How? Last I checked you've got a broken wrist."

I send her a murderous glare. "Well whose fault is that?"

"Mine." Lydia says, and for a moment I don't think she's just referring to my wrist.

I glare at her. "Don't try to be a big sister now." I place the helmet on my head and flip open the visor so she can see my eyes. "You and I both know it's just an act. The b***h thing though, now that's really you."

She grabs the handle bars of the motorcycle before I can leave. I glare at her. "Why did you do it?" She asks.

"You're going to have to be a little more specific. I've done a lot of...questionable things before so you'll have to narrow it down for me...though if it pertains to Ryder I can honestly tell you I have no idea and you have no proof it was actually me."

"When I was accused of killing that agent..." She trails off and looks away for a second. "Why did you stand by me? All evidence pointed towards me, and yet you believed me when I said I didn't do it. Why?"

I take my hands off the handles and sit back in my seat. "Because..." I struggle to find the right words. "Because back then you were my sister. You were good. But if you'd ask me now, I'd stand as far from you as possible." I shake my head sadly. "You said it yourself Lydia. You turned into a monster, evil and cruel."

Lydia glares at me, her face blank and her eyes cold and unforgiving. "Go straight back to the house. Don't go after Garrett." She orders as I start up the motorcycle.

I don't answer her and instead shove pry her hands off the handlebars. "Did you hear me?" Lydia questions, her voice a growl. "Go straight back to the house. Forget about Garrett for now."

I just stare blankly at her for a moment. "I guess when you show back up at the house you'll find out for yourself whether or not I decided to listen, and whether or not I decided to take on Garrett by myself." I flip the visor on my helmet down and speed away.