Honest

forty-eight

Desiree

I lay there, bated breath. Will he come back, I wonder? Have I scared him away? Will he leave me?

Will I have to bury him too?

I call my father, tears in my eyes. "Desiree, darling! Where have you bee-"

"I'm a monster daddy. I always have been."

I swallow, starring at the blood.

He sighs. "You're not a monster. You're just...troubled my dear. But I love you."

"I killed my parents," I whisper. "I killed them."

"Where are you? You need to come home now, you're not feeling well-"

I hear his footsteps, I close the phone, hiding it it. I close my eyes.

No one loves me after they've seen this. No one wants to see behind the walls I've built. It's nothing he hasn't seen now.

He'll probably kill me and escape.

I think I'll let him. He sighs, taking his shoes off. They hit the ground with a thud.

He's seen the darkness inside. He won't live me now. No one will love me.

And I won't love anyone. Not again. They all leave.

There's nothing he hasn't seen now.

He'll leave now.

He'll hate that darkness, like I do.

I hear water running. Then I hear his foot steps, coming toward the bed.

He'll kill me now, to get away.

Like he tried to.

I think I'll let him.

"Oh, little one, you've been through so much haven't you?" he whispers.

Then his presence is gone. He's moving about. I don't open my eyes. Something drops on the floor. Then...scrubbing?

It smells lemony fresh. Why would he be cleaning?

I dont get up. I lay there, my mind racing. Is he...what is he doing?

He scrubs, then he's gone again. Thirty minutes later I smell food.

What is he doing?

There's nothing he hasn't seen now. He's gonna hate me now.

He comes back in the room. This is it.

"Little one, wake up. It's time to eat."

I open my eyes. He smiles sweetly. "I know you're hungry. Come on, get up."

He offers his hand. I stare at it, and back at him.

There's nothing he hasn't seen now.

"Why aren't you trying to get away from me?" I whisper.

He gives me a confused smile. "Why would I? We're together now. We do everything together now."

He smiles. "You must really be tired. We just had this discussion. Come on," He lifts me out of bed, kissing my forehead.

I rest my head on his shoulder. Playing with his hair hesitantly.

"Giuseppe, you see that I'm not...normal don't you? I'm not someone you love-"

He strokes my hair. "Quiet. You're malnourished. Once we eat, we'll go to the beach. Sound good?"

Is he...is he pretending I didnt just kill someone in front of him? And not for Mafia dealings.

"But I'm a monster!" I pull away.

He forces me against his chest. "So am I. But even monster have to eat. I made Tiramisu. It means a pick-me-up. My Dad makes it for my Mom when she's down."

I smile, as he sets me down gently. Like I was normal. Like I was delicate, instead of a killing machine.

My heart flutters weirdly.

"Come, try it. I made it from scratch. It took a while, but...I hope it makes you feel better."

He sets a fork down in front of me, and a plate.

He hands me a knife. "Take as much as you need." He smiles, watching me.

He trusts me? He gave me a knife? What if I hurt him? What if-

"Desiree, if you don't want it, I'll make you something else."

I look at him. "No. No it looks wonderful, thank you."

I cut a piece, setting the knife down. He doesn't even glance at it. Instead he waits eagerly for me to try it.

I do. It's delicious. I don't even like sweets like that, but I could eat this all day!

"Oh my God, this is amazing!" and I smile. I feel it inside. Happy.

"Really? I was worried I messed up the recipe," He grins goofily. "Figi doesn't have to most extensive supermarkets in this area."

I take another huge bite. "It's perfect!"

"You're perfect," He kisses my forehead, standing. "Y'know what pairs well with Tiramisu? Champagne. So I got some. It's a little cheap, but we can enjoy it."

He pours me a glass, smiling.

I smile back. "This is wonderful...but...why?"

"Because I love you."

He still loves me?

There's nothing he hasn't seen now.

"But I hurt people," I stuttered, not articulating what I'm trying to say.

"I know," He smiles. "But guess what? So do I? You're very possessive. And so am I. So I understand. And I'm not angry."

"You're not," I whispered.

He smiles. "It'd be inconvenient if you killed everyone who looked at me, I mean, I'm very attractive,"

I give him a flat look.

"But I'm just as possessive. If I felt there was someone between us... I'd get rid of them too. I'd kill for you. And I love that you'd do the same."

I sit back, truly seeing Giuseppe Vitale for the first time.

He's a different breed.

He takes my fork, cutting a piece of tiramisu off ny plate.

"Hey, this isn't too bad. Mom would be proud of me."

I bite my lip. "When can I meet your Mom?"

He swallows. "Oh you will, you'll get to know her when you plan our wedding when we get home."

Wedding? He'd marry me? There's something wrong with him, isn't it?

"Yeah, I showed her picture of you, back when we were dating the first time. She thinks you're adorable."

"Does she know, I'm the boss of the Eses?"

He nods. "Yeah. But we'll keep the rest between us. Of course she knows you're a Gangster. But we keep our monsters in our little world, sound good? They can keep each other occupied."

He takes another bite of my tiramisu casually.

I snatch the fork from him. "I thought you made this for me?"

"I thought it was implied you'd share." He grins.

"I never agreed to marry you, either."

"You didn't have to," He shoots back. "You belong to me. I belong to you. I'm giving you everything including my last name. I thought was implied too," He steals the fork licking it clean.

I bite back a grin. "You think you're smart, don't you?"

"You know I am," He winks.

My face heats, as I look at him through my lashes.

Giuseppe Vitale...you belong to me forever now.

I hope you know that.