Almost, Completely His

Chapter 4

Celeste

Dinner dragged.

My eyes couldn’t stop looking at the person in front of me.

The man.

He was tall with broad and muscular shoulders. He had bright green eyes and blonde hair that fell to his jaw. He had light stubble and I couldn’t keep my eyes off his hands.

His strong... large hands.

The way he gripped his knife, and held onto his wine cup sent shivers up my spine. The desire to be gripped and groped by him made me squirm in my seat.

I had never felt desire for someone. Never felt like I needed to be touched. Yes I had been attracted to other men and imagined kissing them, but it was nothing like this.

I was young, but I knew what I was feeling. While other girls my age were kept in the dark until their wedding night, my brother found it absurd to keep such things a secret.

Therefore I knew what I needed, what I wanted. And erotic images flooded my mind and the man in front of me was in the center of them all.

“Arthur recently returned from Oxford, he has made us so proud!” Theodora beamed as she grinned at Arthur.

Yes. This was Arthur. Arthur. The one I had known since I was a kid.

The one I annoyed and annoyed me.

The boy who was 10 years older than me. Who had lived and experienced so much. Who was much more experienced... who expected and needed more.

More than a young girl like me could offer.

“What exactly did you like best from Oxford Arthur?” My father asked.

“Boxing. I won’t fib and say I enjoyed being in class and doing course work,” Arthur said grinning, the candle light reflecting off his perfect teeth. “But I did spend much of my time in the ring.”

“Yes I can tell!” Father laughed. “Maybe you can refresh my memory tomorrow morning. This old dog still remembers some tricks.”

The Earl and father laughed and talked and Theodora talked to my brother about his studies.

I kept my head down, willing myself not to look up. I knew he was looking at me, I could feel it. I sensed it to my very core.

“Celeste, how is Spain at this time of year?” Charles asked.

I looked up at him and he was smiling at me. He truly was very handsome.

“Quite warm my lord. Definitely sunnier than London.”

“How unfortunate that you will have to spend your summer days here then. Especially during the social season. It can be tedious.”

“Oh, yes I said the same thing to my brother. But father dragged me here anyways.”

Charles laughed and raised his glass my way. “Don’t you worry Celeste. We will make this a summer to remember.”

Charles winked at me and I smiled. He really was the kinder brother.

But Arthur, he was the annoying brother. The one who pulled in my hair and whined when I entered the room.

I dared myself to look at him and to my horror and satisfaction, he was looking at me. He drank from his glass but he looked at me with his intense green eyes.

His long blonde hair fell over his eyes and his jaw was tense. He had a dangerous look in his eyes and I desperately wanted to jump across the table to get a closer look.

But I nodded at him and turned back to my food.

For the first time I couldn’t muster an insult, or even a witty comment.

For the first time I was rendered speechless.

After dessert on the patio, I excused myself for the night.

For hours I spent my energy in clutching my hands and gritting my teeth.

For hours Arthur pranced around me, smiling at everyone and enveloping me in his masculine smell. I felt like a dog in heat because all I wanted to do was grab him and kiss him. And feel his shoulders and grip them as I straddled his lap.

“Are you feeling alright dear?” Father asked.

“Yes, it’s no worries. I’m still a little worn out from the trip.”

Theodora nodded. “Yes you’re absolutely right. You deserve a good nights rest.” She smiled at me and grabbed my hand gently. “Do let us know if you need anything my dear.”

I nodded and excused myself. Once I was inside I felt like I could breathe better. The air wasn’t hot and the weight on my chest lifted. However the fire in me still burned.

As I walked up the stairs I heard someone call my name.

“Celeste!”

I turned to see the man who had tortured me all night jog up the stairs.

“May I escort you to your room?”

I gritted my teeth and shook my head. “I should be able to find my room just fine thank you.”

He smiled as he looked at me and I narrowed my eyes.

“Can i help you with something?”

“No nothing, just admiring that you haven’t changed a bit.”

I felt my stomach drop.

I hadn’t changed? Not even a bit?

“I see.” I nodded at him and turned around.

I hadn’t changed to him. I was still the little girl he had annoyed for years. I was almost at the top of the stairs when he called out again.

“Have a goodnight Celeste.”

I gritted my teeth, hating how much I loved him saying my name.

I basically ran to my room when I was out of sight.

I closed and locked the door. I took the pins out of my hair and let my dark curls hang loose. I felt a slight headache and sweat forming on my temples.

I rushed over and opened the windows allowing night air to refresh the room.

I thought about how Arthur looked eating, talking, laughing, walking and even standing.

He still had the annoying boyish streak to him but he was also a man now. A handsome and alluring man.

A man who was 10 years my elder and didn’t see me more than a child. He had said it himself.

I knew of marriages where the age difference was grander, but the difference was that there was a form of attraction there. There had to be.

I sighed and surrendered to changing into my nightgown.

I needed sleep . I needed an escape from what was today and would be my summer.

I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to keep thinking about Arthur and how much I wanted him to touch me, to be attracted to me.

I tossed and turned in bed, full of heat and desire. I almost attempted to relieve myself of the frustration and please myself but I didn’t want to give in to the heat I felt for the man who had bothered me all my life.

I would go to sleep, and everything would be better in the morning. Everything would calm down and I hoped everything would go back to normal.