Finally

Chapter 7 - Pleasant Lemon Odour

Christmas at my parents is noisy, but fun. None of my siblings have any children yet so the festive period is mostly spent drinking and playing games. We’re all ridiculously competitive and even more so after a drink so it’s not a good combination.

I’m the second youngest and the youngest girl, this has its benefits as well as its challenges. My two older sisters and then my older brother all took me to nightclubs with them as soon as I looked old enough, but not legal and I in turn got to do that with my younger brother. They are also all quite protective over me, which has its advantages, it does mean I get treated like a baby a lot, which I find frustrating. The weird thing about my family is that no one ever mentions or speaks of the attack on me. It’s like they’re scared of upsetting me so we all pretend it never happened. It’s totally not healthy, but it’s how my family deals with most major issues, we ignore them and hope they'll disappear.

I spend New Years with Alice at her place in London. She stayed in the city after University and has recently bought a place with Paolo her Spanish boyfriend, who I’m not sure about. He works in banking and seems full of himself because he earns well, it makes him come across as rude and arrogant.

Alice tries to set me up with a friend of Paolo’s so I have someone to kiss at midnight, but I’m not interested. I end up telling her about Adam and our kiss, just so she won’t push the issue. She insists on seeing a picture and although I refuse at first, a few hours and several drinks later I find one after a quick search of Jemima’s social media pages.

“Wow! He’s gorgeous!” She exclaims.

“I know, right? I haven’t had s*x in a while, not since moving there and I can’t imagine sleeping with anyone else now I’ve met him. This dry spell needs to end quickly though, I’m losing my mind,” I laugh.

“I can imagine, you’ve never gone for long without getting some,” she teases.

I always had someone to call on at University if I wanted some fun. I have had a few short relationships, nothing serious, but mostly I had regular friends that I slept with occasionally. I cared more about my studies than boyfriends, but I still had needs that I took care of when the mood took me. I wasn’t overly promiscuous, but I got my fair share.

It’s unusual for me to be celibate and I’d only kissed Adam once and that was recently, but since meeting him my mind has been on no one else.

“You really like him don’t you?” She asks seriously.

“I do. For the first time since my high school love I feel like I could actually fall for someone,” I admit.

“Well I need to inspect before you do so I’m visiting you at the first available opportunity!” She giggles.

I roll my eyes in response. She acts like my mother sometimes and it's gotten much worse since my attack.

A few days later it’s finally time to return for work and I’m excited. I’ve never wished a holiday away before, but I counted the days until my return to work this year. I dress in my clingy office dress and take extra care with my hair and make up. I hope he still feels the same after the break and doesn't regret our kiss.

He’s not there when I arrive, but I’m early so I grab a coffee and check through my emails. I’m clock and door watching while I switch my out of office reply off and respond to the messages that need a response.

He arrives a minute late and goes straight to his desk so there’s no time to catch up. I’m busy all morning catching up and have to eat lunch at my desk. It’s frustrating because I can’t talk to him and I have no idea how he’s feeling, I don’t want to make the first move and seem desperate so I wait.

Finally at 3:12pm an untitled email enters my inbox and the sender’s name is Adam Williams. My heart races and I click to open it immediately.

Afternoon and happy New Year. Did you have a good holiday?

That’s all it says. I can’t read anything into that, but at least he initiated conversation. I reply:

Good afternoon and happy New Year to you too.

I had an ok holiday, I spent most of it at my parents with my whole family who are ok in small doses, but I was more than ready to come home after a week.

New Years was great, I spent it at my friend Alice’s (she was my roommate at university) we got very drunk and I woke up with pen all over my thighs- through the rips in my jeans and on my chest and I was still in my clothes.

I dodged a hangover though somehow so all good.

How was yours?

It takes over 20 minutes for him to respond, but he does.

Christmas was ok, my sister came over from Amsterdam with her man and I didn’t argue with her once - miracle! We went to see a Coldplay tribute band at Mr Shaws, they were brilliant but there were six of them...?

Last New Years I woke up with shaving foam all over my face and body, can’t believe I didn’t wake up, I wasn’t even that drunk.

Just spent the last 20 minutes on the phone to a customer, I think we should reserve the right to block certain customers.

The conversation is friendly, but he’s avoided the topic of our kiss so far. I don’t know whether to mention it or not. I decide not to and just keep things friendly, if he wants things to progress he will tell me.

I can’t imagine you being an argumentative person (and no I’m not being sarcastic) but I’m pleased you got on.

The shaving foam thing is funny but after waking up covered in pen I can’t really laugh at you can I?

How are you?

I add the last question hoping it’ll give me some insight into his feelings or where I stand.

I’m not argumentative! It’s just the older sister/younger brother thing, it’s a recipe for disaster!

The shaving foam fiasco was funny though:

*Adam wakes up**smells pleasant lemon odour under nose**opens mouth to experience a mouthful of foam*

It’s funny NOW!

I can’t decide whether to go to the gym tonight. I probably should, but the gym seems a lot of effort for the first day back. What do you think I should do?

Why is he asking me what he should do? Does he want me to ask him out instead? I’m not going to, I need him to make the first move now so I tell him to either suck it up and go tonight or do extra tomorrow. Whichever seems the least painful option is the one to go with.

He doesn’t reply, instead I go home wondering where I stand.