Finally

Chapter 5 - More Than Meets the Eye

I dress in tight black jeans, a black faux leather fitted top with an opaque black blouse over the top left open, but tied around my waist and black high heeled shoe boots. I always look good in black and the outfit shows off my figure without showing too much flesh. The leather top is verging on risqué, but with the blouse over it it’s not too much.

My hair is styled and my make up perfect with natural colours, but winged eyeliner. I look every bit the rockstar’s girlfriend, which if I’m honest I’d love to be. One particular rockstar that is.

I meet Jemima at the venue which is basically a bar with a live music floor downstairs. She’s waiting outside for me when I arrive and she’s dressed simply in blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Her long, thick dark hair swept back into a simple ponytail, her face is make up free as usual. The man standing beside her is her boyfriend, I know this without her introducing us. He looks similar to her in the sense that his thick dark hair is neatly styled, he’s dressed sensibly and looks plain and well... sensible like her. They are well suited.

We head into the bar and down the stairs to the music venue, the place is full already and a warm up band are on stage playing. I grab a beer from the bar and head to the table Christophe and Ian have saved us.

“Hi,” they both greet me.

“Hi, I’m Zara from research,” I tell them.

They both smile and nod or wave, I'm aware they already know that since Jemima told me she’d filled them in that I was new to the area and she needed a fellow woman at the table. I hope she didn’t also fill them in on my huge crush on Adam.

Speaking of Adam, he’s nowhere to be seen but I’m assuming he’s backstage getting ready. I sip my beer and enjoy the music that’s currently playing since it’s too loud to really talk much.

Everyone applauds as the set ends and the singer introduces the next band. I’ve goosebumps on my arms and the back of my neck at the thought of seeing Adam play.

The 3 piece band file onto the stage and he arrives last dressed in ripped blue jeans and a black v neck t-shirt which shows a hint of his chest. I can see he’s toned under there and his arms fill the short sleeves to the point of stretching them, he has the most beautiful toned tanned arms, the sight of him making me practically drool all over the table. His black guitar is slung around him and he takes my breath away as he steps into the spotlight.

A drunk woman I noticed at the bar earlier, who is at the back wolf whistles at him and Jemima rolls her eyes. She’s obviously used to the attention her friend gets on and off the stage.

“Hi,” Adam starts shyly. “We’re Sound Board and this is a song called Only You Do.”

The drummer starts playing and then Adam’s guitar kicks in and my attention is all on him, I want or rather need to hear his voice. When he sings it’s soft and harmonious, but his voice is deep and it goes right to my toes. He’s not your average frontman, he’s not a showman or flashy, but he certainly commands the attention of the room.

I’m captivated by him throughout the set, barely able to take my eyes from him, the songs are catchy and simple and he looks effortless up there. My desire for him has only intensified in the last hour.

When they are done, Jemima invites me to go to the bar with her and asks me what I think.

“They’re good!” I admit ordering another beer. “He’s got a great voice, it wasn’t what I expected though, but I’m not sure why.”

“He studied at the Royal College of Music. He’s also a classically trained pianist, but don’t ever tell him I told you so! He’d kill me!”

“Why?”

“Because it would ruin his rockstar image,” she laughs.

There’s clearly more to him than meets the eye and I’m intrigued even more now.

“You like him don’t you?” She asks me honestly without a hint of teasing.

“Is it that obvious?” I ask blushing.

“To me it is, but don’t worry he’s used to it. He gets embarrassed by the attention though so just play it cool,” she advises.

Cool. I can do that.

We return to the table and the boys join us from backstage. I’m introduced to Kenny the drummer and George the bass player who is also Adam’s best friend. Both of the other boys are above average looking, but they seem plain next to Adam.

“Hey Zara,” Adam greets me with a smile. “Glad you could make it.”

He’s happy to see me, that’s a start.

“Jemima invited me, I hope that’s ok?”

“Of course, she gets fed up being with the boys all the time,” he replies.

“You guys were great!”

“Thanks,” he says shyly not meeting my eyes.

He goes to get a drink and I try to calm my nerves so I can try to hide how much he affects me.

End of flashback.

“So that’s when Adam Williams came into your life?” Asks Michelle.

“Yes, I was instantly attracted to him and fell for him really quickly,” I admit.

“Ok, well that’s all we have time for today I’m afraid, but thank you for sharing that in such detail. It’s really helped me build a picture of where you were at that point in your life. We have an appointment arranged for two days time, in the meantime please keep taking your medication and look after yourself.”

“I will, thanks.”

I follow her out of the office and back down the corridor filled with brown doors and walk out into the spring sunshine. I have no car at the moment, but Michelle’s office is only a ten minute walk from my apartment.

I walk slowly to breathe in the fresh air and enjoy the peace. I hope these sessions work and I can finally move on, the last two years I’ve almost died twice and came very close to losing my sanity. It’s been quite a journey and I’m at the point now, having hit rock bottom that I need to get better or... well I’m not sure what the alternative is.