Endless pain

Chapter 4

Ruin me like you need me my past is so tragic even if I turned it into a book I would want to burn it as well because I don't want to seem broken anymore. Haunted lights twinkle in the distance as I stare at the sky as someone says my name but the rain feels great on my skin. I wish I could stay in the rain forever but unfortunately that doesn't happen and someone ruins all my fun and shouts my name again. "Sa5m" I turn around as I hear my name clearly this time and it's some girl who I don't know or maybe I do know her but I'm to messed up to remember right now. As I head towards the voice all I see is just a big blur, then I remember just passing out and all I see is darkness surround me, this is it I finally get my death wish. You know how people say the past is the past I wish I could just forget mine. When I was 7 years old I was in a car crash that involved my mum, dad and me I remember before we crashed I opened the car door. I jumped out of the moving car just before it slammed into a nearby tree and burst into flames, I watched it all with tears in my eyes. I was bleeding and had hit my head really hard on the concrete and I was covered in bruises as well, I remember I was in the hospital for a month or two after that I don't remember much about my parents funeral it was all so messed up but I was kind of sad and happy that they were gone because they always used to put me down I didn't really have the best childhood that's for sure. Moving on I was put into foster care after that and I hated every single day of that hell but that's what it was just hell for me. When I turned sixteen well I got kidn*pped I was walking back from a friends house all I remember is that it was snowing that night as I went missing for seven whole months and for one of those months I joined a g**g just to survive but I won't go into all that right now. I've got scars and tattoos but those memories still give me nightmares like I'm right back there living those things over and over again.

I'm now eighteen and I take drugs and smoke cigarettes or w**d anything to take away the unforgettable pain that I feel mostly everyday. I've travelled the world well some of it anyways and I've been spiralling out of control, now you know why but I guess we all make mistakes sometimes but we're allowed to we're only human. When I open my eyes again I roll over and see a note on my bedside table and it says "don't be late also I'm the one who carried you here just in case you don't remember love from Luna". f**k I can't believe I totally forgot about Lunas event thing and I'm just gonna forget about the whole thing about me passing out. I really need a shower so I go and have one, afterwards I get ready and get my hair done. I got into some nice warm clothes and realise that I'm super late already to this event but I'm mostly late anywhere I go anyways so it doesn't really bother me that much. Xxx