Endless pain

Chapter 7

Withering leaves crumble under the sound of my sneakers while I try and stay silent as I look the other way the shadows of darkness creep beyond me. The chaos sounds eventful even meaningful to every other person but me. As I stare at the buildings that come down around me I feel as if this isn't real at all but it is. What a f*****g nightmare this truly is I never thought I would see myself in this situation. I want the darkness to swallow me whole while the drugs run through my veins. I'm terrified of what happens next you told me your secrets but I will never tell you mine. So for you to understand what the hell i am talking about I have to tell you what happened 8 hours before. So the whispers of everyone in the crowd get a little bit louder as I think I'm getting a headache f**k I hate anything to do with school anyway. My friends come running up to me all at once like a dam cyclone has just hit. Grace starts to speak first "have you heard the rumours going around about you right now". I close my locker with a loud thud then I lean back on my locker wondering what the f**k is going on. I bite my lip as I start getting anxious about what she's going to say. Grace takes a deep breath "so you haven't heard the news, turns out that you live alone and that you have a super messed up past, is it true". Grace turns her head towards Luna, smiles and just waits for my reply. I don't understand why this even matters there's no way in hell they could of found out about my past. I feel like going into the bathroom and screaming as loud as possible. Instead I'm tripping out super bad on drugs right now. Luna reaches Graces hand and I can see the popping colour of bright purple. I realise I don't know what to say back it's like the words are stuck in the back of my brain. I look down and feel emotionless I mean they are supposed to be my friends maybe I was wrong about them. I haven't said anything within the two minutes Grace asked me that question. Luna speaks very loudly "so it must be true then right, you do have a messed up past, your such a freak" now I'm angry. Kyle makes it worse by jumping in "we were only friends with you because we felt sorry for you" it can't be true right. Nothing feels real right now not even this conversation so I speak my mind anyway. "You guys don't mean that, your supposed to be my friends, what the hell" all four of them laugh at me like I'm some kind of inside joke but I'm not in on it. f**k not Luca to I swear I'm gonna lose my s**t if he jumps in as well. I finally find my voice as Luca says "you mean f**k all to" I cut him off so quickly I punched him again and again in the face and stomach. I leave him with a broken nose and bruises to last for days. The girls call me psycho as some of the boys call me a d**g addiction walking mess. As I walk out of this f****d up academy that I'm never going back to not now not ever. I turn when I reach the door "at least I can admit that I take drugs who cares about my past you have no right to look into it. Plus half of you motherfuckers do them as well and have made loads of mistakes who hasn't. Judge me all you want none of you were true friends. You can all go to hell karma will f**k you up one day honestly". With that I left and walked away and ran back to my house alone and to broken to miss. An hour goes by as I have now drank a whole bottle of Jim bean. I'm so tired of feeling so out of place so tired of tears. I'm out of words to how much hurt I feel right now, nothing drugs can't fix tho, I hate being so addicted to them. My thoughts run wild as I'm slowly giving up on myself. I tell myself f**k it I'm gonna go for a walk with alcohol in hand and took my cigarettes and lighter with me. Am I even enough to care about or am I beyond repair I end up walking around endlessly until we'll. This is where s**t gets interesting in a strange way I guess. What I witness is truly such a terrible crime but I stand there and watch everything go down. I saw the whole thing unfold like a messed up movie scene but instead of it just being on tv it was happening in reality. In the park across from a street lamp that seems to not be working at all. The darkness elopes me like a suffering shadow but from a distance A boy stepped forward he would of only been around the age of 18 but the boy has light brown hair and he's wearing all black as curiosity hits me out of nowhere. Temptation is a figure of speech but as I kept watching and observing everything that was going on I wish that I had just taken more drugs before I came out. I could hear the boys voice saying over and over again "please give me another chance I won't disappoint you". After he said this another person stepped forward as I take another sip of my bourbon. He lifts the boys chin up and his voice is so deep it comes out as a melody. "No, you f****d up again you messed with the wrong g**g mate" after that the guy still grabbing a hold of this other boys t-shirt. The boy was pleading again then I see a shiny silver knife and he sliced his throat open. I don't scream I don't move I did however run to the nearest tree and wanted time to stand still. I watched his lifeless body hit the ground as the other voices say "let's go we have other business to attend to". They start to leave thank f**k for that then they get into a black SUV and drive off. I take a deep breath in and out and just let myself cry. This is not even the worst part of my day you would think it would be right well it's not. Within a matter of five hours my life has just gotten high jacked and I don't know who's life I'm living right now. I run away from the horrible scenery I've just seen. I mean I've done s**t and been through so much crap in my life you would think that wouldn't freak me out but it does. So you probably just want me to get to the good part. The 8th hour is up and if you remember some s**t went down. Yes the city was crumbling and crashing down around me and in front of me. No the worst part is I hear a voice behind me "Sa5m, we need to talk I know you saw me tonight, please turn around and talk to me". No the worst part is I slowly turn around as I know that familiar voice it's. Xxx