The Fated Curse

Chapter 11

Valencia

Shit, s**t, s**t. Did he just kiss me? We have had s*x a number of times, but this is the first time he has actually kissed me. Casual s*x is fine but this kiss, it felt almost like...no. He was emotionally vulnerable and this was a temporary lapse in judgment. That is all it was. That is all it could be. I kept repeating this over in my head as if i said it enough times it might be true. My mind knew better. But my damn body leaned into him!

He deepened the kiss and entwined his fingers in my hair. His arm hooked around my back and pulled me onto his lap. I relaxed into his hold and put both arms around his neck. One hand sifted through his hair. I felt his tongue asking for entrance. Against my better judgment, I gave him access. Our tongues danced together. He held me tight and continued the kiss as though it were the first breath of air he had taken in all his life. And that if he stopped he would forget how to breathe again. He slowly lowered me down onto the bed, positioning himself between my legs. Then my senses came back to me.

I pushed him back off of me. "Your wounds need to heal."

"I am feeling okay right now."

"That is the whiskey talking. You could pull your stitches. Lay down, you need to rest." He went to protest, but I raised an eyebrow. He sighed and knew arguing was a losing battle.

"Fine, I will rest. But will you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep?" He squeezed my hand, pleading me to agree. The sadness in his eyes made me weak. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He lifted an arm and gestured for me to lay next to him.

"Please?" He begged. I found myself unable to deny him. I curled up next to him and he smiled, content. This was a dumb idea. I should leave. I needed to leave. This was too close. But I didnt move. I convinced myself that this was a one-time occurrence. He just needed comfort, and I was being a good friend. Yes, friends was all this is. It is all it could be. But a friend was just as bad. He had just lost a friend today. How would he feel losing another? How would he feel losing more?

His arm wrapped around me and pulled me in to his side. Soon I heard soft snores. I knew I should leave. Sneak out of his arms and forget this ever happened. But his arms felt so comfortable. I couldn't stop myself from drifting off to sleep. For the first night in a while, there were no nightmares.

I woke to Gideon's fingers tracing circles on my arm. I willed my eyes open to see him looking down at me. In his eyes there was something that I couldn't, no, that I would not put words to. I lifted myself away from him. I leaped from the bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To get some fresh bandages. We will need to change your dressings." My response seemed to satisfy him, but I needed to get away. I needed to clear my head. Something that seemed impossible when I was next to him.

I headed to the supply tent and began gathering the materials I would need to change his dressings. "Good morning, dear." I heard from behind me. I turned to find Gertrude.

"Good morning, Gerty."

"I went looking for you last night."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I thought we could grab dinner together. When I didn't find you, I figured I would check in on the prince before I headed back to the castle."

"I see."

"You do know that he is a prince?"

"I am fully aware."

"I am not one to shame a good time, and I am no fool as to who's chambers you had been running off to for your 'stress relief' sessions."

"Gerty. We are all adults here. Would you get to your point?"

"I am worried about attachments. He has responsibilities to his kingdom. A duty to find his mate and future queen."

"I am well aware."

"I just worry about you getting too close. I care for you like you are my child. I do not want you getting hurt."

"I am not the one you need to worry about getting hurt." A bitter truth. I turned to the old woman and grabbed her hand in mine. "The prince simply needed a friend and comfort. Nothing more. Your concern is misplaced."

"If you say so," she said. She paused for a moment before leaving me alone.

I finished gathering what I needed and headed back to the prince's tent. Gertrude was right. I needed to put distance between us. He smiled as I entered. He had such a nice smile.

I like him, Kore chimed in. She had been unusually quiet for a while now.

It doesn't matter if we like him, Kore. All we will give him is more pain. The more he likes us, the greater the damage. We cannot do that to him.

I know, but he could be...

Don't even say it. Life doesn't work like that. There are no miracles, no fairy tale endings. In 6 months we die, end of story. I wish it were different. I wish you could be happy with a mate. But fate is cruel.

Kore whimpered and retreated to the back of my mind. I set my stuff down next to Gideon and began removing his bandages.

"You are awfully quiet," he said.

"Just thinking."

"About anything in particular?"

"Nothing for you to concern yourself with."

"Thank you. For staying with me last night." I simply nodded. His wounds were healing nicely. Luckily, there weren't toxins in his system, so his dragon should be able to heal the wound quickly.

"You are healing fast. You should be ok to get up and move around. But if any attacks happen today, you are on strict orders to let your men handle it." I said sternly.

"Yes ma'am," he said. He was more compliant than usual. I got up to leave.

"I have other patients that I need to see to."

"Wait." He jumped out of bed and walked over to me. He hooked one arm behind me, pulling me to him, the other tilted my chin up and he pressed a kiss upon my lips. He pulled away and smiled. "Now you can go."

I turned away without another thought. I found myself nearly running once I left his tent. I needed to get away. When I put enough distance between us, I sunk to the ground and grabbed my head. What was I doing? What had I done? I should have stopped it last night before it got too far. I was doing irreparable damage.

I sat holding myself for a while. I cursed the fates for my life. I had tried not to be bitter, to be angry at the world, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. I wanted to scream, to break something. But I could not afford the luxury. I stood up and wiped the dirt from my pants. I took a couple of deep breaths to swallow down my frustrations.

I needed to steel my heart. I needed to crush any feelings Gideon may have had for me. It was for his own good. In another life, maybe it could have been different. But this is the hand we were dealt, and we must do with it what we can. It was a shitty f*****g hand, But it was mine.