When The Time Is Right

When The Time Is Right

  When the time is right I will pack my stuff and finally leave. I will leave because I am tiered of being with someone who in the beginning of the relationship made me feel important and know makes me question if he actually wants to be with me. When the time is right I will demonstrate to you that I will be perfectly fine without you. I dont want to be with someone who makes me feel that I am not worth nothing. I don't want to be with someone that makes me feel so lonely, when ever I ask to go out somewhere is always answering me with maybe next time or theirs no money.( but has money to buy him self stuff ) I dont want to be with someone when I needed you the most you weren't their. ( I had an emergency c-section because my babies heart beat was slowing down and joel decided to go see his family without telling me anything he already had his plane ticket. He said he would just go for 3 weeks and stayed a month that hurt me so much he left me with a 2 month old baby a fresh c-section. It was hard to get up from bed and my mom worked and her husband worked so nobody helped me, I was so alone with a baby and I was scared because all of this was new for me, I felt if I couldn't help myself how would I help my baby.)

   While I was pregnant I saw a conversation with him and another woman on his phone, where he said he was a single man and he was living alone and he thought she was beautiful. ( I told him to leave that I didn't want to be with him that I could raise this baby on my own.) When the time is right I would leave you a letter saying how I wish you were a better boyfriend and a better father in that letter I would say how I wish I would have left you a long time ago, how I never asked for anything all I wanted was your time, that how hard it was being with someone who made you feel so lost because you hurt me emotionally you hurt me up to a point that when you would call me fat and ugly I believed it, when you would tell me that no one would ever love me I believed you, until now I know thats not true because God sent me a beautiful baby who needs me and loves me just the way I am. When the time is right one day you will not find your daughter or me home and don't worry I did not run away with another man I'm running away from you someone that no matter what I do is never good enough. 

  I have so much apologizing to myself to do, I have to apologize for letting the person I love hurt me emotionally. I have to apologize for staying in this relationship for to long. I have to apologize for never leaving him when I had the chance, I just thought that maybe he needed me as much as I needed him. When the time is right , I would write you a letter saying goodbye.