I am back in the field.
The moment I open my eyes and see the flowers, I feel a staggering sense of relief and I crumple to my knees.
Today there is no one here. There is a nice breeze blowing but I don’t notice it. I wrap my arms around myself and sob in loud gasping cries.
I know this is a dream.
I know this isn’t real.
I must have passed out during the t*****e.
And then I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders. Startled out of my tears and fear, I look up and my eyes widen before I throw myself into the arms of my most precious person.
“Ben!”
My brother.
Ben tightens his hold on me as I sob in his arms, repeating his name like a mantra, “Ben. Ben. Ben.”
He lowers his head on top of mine, “How’ve you been, kid?”
I pull away, enough to look at him, and my voice breaks, “I don’t
