Quantum Hearts

Chapter 5: Ruminations

Adam awakened to consciousness with eyes still full of tears. Mandra handed him a cup of warm tea as he grabbed him by the arm and led him out from the white hall. To Adam's amazement, it was already night. Grey was fast asleep on the floor. Adam thanked the Sage for the privilege of such a powerful experience. Although sad, he appreciated the whole thing.

“Hey Grey, get up… Let's go, it's late,” Adam said, tapping on Grey's shoulder. As usual, Gray, in his baritone voice, humored,

“Did you guys travel out of the country or what? Is there some secret private jet at the back?” He continued, “Dude, you were gone for hours. Did you guys, like, go to make love or something?”

When he noticed Adam was not responding to his humor, he knew something had happened.

“Alright buddy, let’s get you home. Whatever it is, we can talk about it whenever you're fine.” Adam nodded as they both walked towards his car.

“I'll drive,” Grey volunteered as he muttered, “I don't wanchu driving me into 4084… I belong to now.” They were back and Grey had to leave to go prepare to resume work the next day.

Adam never had a picture of his mom, so recalling her face from the experience, he drew several photos of her and would stare at them for long.

He still yearned for 4084, but his mind would not let go of the sight he saw in the operating room. He wondered what kind of woman his mom was, what kind of life she lived, if she was buried properly, and if her soul was at peace.

His chain of thoughts was disturbed by a firm knock on the door and a voice he did remember.

“Hi Adam, it's Bill Lawrence. I've been here a dozen times before now, but met no response. May I come in?”

Adam wiped his face, quickly arranged his room, or what he could of it, and answered the door.

“Please come in, Captain Bill,” Adam said as he pointed inwards to his room.

“Don't call me captain, Adam; the mission is over, and I'm not here on official purposes,” Bill said.

He continued,

“I came to see a man who survived the impossible and cheated death.” Being a man not to mince words or beat around the bush, Bill Lawrence looked Adam in the eye and continued.

“I'm here to say thank you for not dying, and, for having our backs during the Iraq Search and Destroy mission. As soon as I and the guys arrived in the States, we headed straight for VOW, where they took us to the medical facilities and where you were in a coma… The guys made sure they saw you first, before returning to their families, all in different states… We wanted to let you know we appreciate and respect you for surviving what even trained soldiers couldn't.” He paused and continued

“You see, Adam, in the military, everything serves to unite us. Experiencing death and life can achieve that end, and the team felt closer to you after the loss of those five lives. When a soldier dies, we accept it and move on, but when a civilian dies on a soldier's watch, it ties a hook to your conscience and torments you for life.”

“We have been trying to reach you, and we wanted to let you know if there is anything we can do for you, we'd be more than happy to do it…"

Adam, now much sober, expressed his gratitude and thanked Bill Lawrence for his diligence and dedication even after being ignored so many times.

“But I don't want anything, Captain…" Adam said.

Bill Lawrence got up, shook hands with Adams, and offered him one last opportunity:

“… You know, if you'd like a career in the field, you can come see me up at Fort Knox. VOW said you're raw, but I know just what to do with you…" He said as he handed Adam a platinum coin.

Adam appreciated him as he escorted him to the door.

Days passed, and Adam was back to the temple to see Mandra Shakti. Mandra welcomed him with such warmness as was his true character, offered him tea, and walked the beautiful temple gardens with him. Adam asked,

"Can I travel back farther than the hospital? Maybe a few months back… I don't know my dad. I'd like to see him. Not only that, but I'd like to know what he looks like.” Mandra stopped, eyes filled with compassion for the lost young man, placed his hands on his shoulders, and enlightened him,

“It doesn't work that way, Adam. It's not a movie; it's your life's history. You can't go back farther than the point at which you're introduced to any world or time frame. That is as far back as we could visit… Your birth, your introduction to this realm and this time-space… I'm sorry, my child.” He sighed slowly.

"Maybe if you look carefully through the State's records, you can find out about him.”

Adams walked ahead with the Sage, then asked, “When I first came here, you talked about other worlds and timelines..."

“Yes, I did…" Mandra said.

"Does that mean what I saw was real?”

Mandra responded, “Everything is real and everything is false, depending on the lens through which you perceive and filter reality.”

He continued, “Take a mentally ill person, for instance; they see things from their lenses of perception that are real and true, but false to you. You think they are out of their minds, and they think you are blind…" Mandra continued, "From both points of perception, both of you are right. If you saw what they saw, you would most likely react the same way or worse… The same is true for what is true or false concerning other worlds, realms, timelines, and dimensions of existence.”

Mandra sighed and looked at Adams and then pointed for them to sit by a rock.

“I know so much and yet so little about life… I know many things; there are many other things I do not know about other worlds. What I know, the universe allows me to know to enlighten me. What I don't know, the universe withholds from me to protect me.”

“Have you tried going back to the place you were at while in a coma? Did you practice on your own?” Mandra asked.

“I've not… I've been processing my mom's death and trying to know her the least possible I could…" Mandra nodded in approval, got up, motioned to Adam to follow, and said

“Come, my child… Let's try to go to 4084…”