Unexpected Yearnings

CHAPTER 03: The First Encounter

3. Remy

A splitting headache and direct sunlight through the windows falling on your eyes isn't the best way to wake up on a weekend. I laid in bed rethinking last night's events which caused me to jolt up and text my friends to make sure they reached home without much fret.

Between a shower and making myself breakfast I remembered that I hadn't thanked Elliott for yesterday, yet. Maybe Yvonne did, but I should too; it's only polite.

Me: Thank you for getting us home safe and for not being Ted Bundy. :)

Maybe I should've left the last part out but who cares, I was grateful for that too.

My work paid me enough that I didn't need to find a nine to five elsewhere. That meant flexibility and being your own boss; both of which I was glad for today because with this headache I couldn't leave my penthouse.

I turned on my laptop to make sure I wasn't forgetting any prior arrangements and to check my emails. I did tell my friends and myself that I'd hold back on accepting any new requests but I could just read them or maybe respond by declining. Scanning my inbox, I feel content as I found seven new requests, in a week, on my work email account. Years ago, I'd be lucky with five a month.

I read them datewise.

A man looking for a surrogate. Not that kind of business; I write to him professionally.

A woman curious to find out her sexuality. Although that would be interesting to work on, I reject it as I intended to.

The third one catches my eye.

‘I know something about your mother.’

No six words have terrified me as much as the ones I saw right before my eyes.

Girls shouldn't eat that much.

You're allowed out of your room once you've learnt your lesson.

Why are you such a disappointment, Remone?

The acrid knot in my throat returned. I hadn't felt it since years and I didn't think this would be all that it took to spiral myself. Words from my childhood come clashing into my mind. I thought I was free, from those memories and from that woman. But now I couldn't breathe. I needed air, I needed to calm down but most of all I needed to know what this person knew.

So bracing myself for any sort of trauma inducing fright, I clicked on it and found out it had nothing to do with my mother.

The way he's written the email, I'm hooked from the first to last word.

He needs a wife for company. It has been just him for years as he finds people aggravating. I would've considered it a prank but even through the screen I can feel he is genuine and purely innocent. It says nothing about what he needs me to do or who the marriage is for; himself or his family and it's harmless to not accept it. But before I do, I stop myself.

Who under the wrath of Hades would even think about writing that as the subject? It had nothing to do with his requirement and I felt the heat of fury seeping through my blood vessels. Part of me reminded myself that he hadn't known the effect it would have on me but most of me was convinced this shithead belonged in hell.

I took deep breaths letting myself believe he knew nothing about my mother.

I clicked the return arrow without sending his email to the bin and continued with the rest. It took me thirty minutes to go through all of it and I ended up declining all but one. I had no intention of accepting but I kept it as a reminder of my last request. One so daunting I would fall beneath the fear it instilled. Reminding my nerves it was a false alarm, I don't feel that horrified anymore, even though I would have to make peace with the fact; I could never free myself from her hold. Not mentally.

Then I walked to the balcony outside my bedroom, and dialed Drew. Along with two others, they handled my business with me. Having to say goodbye to them was another one of the challenging parts of my retirement.

“Remy, how's it going?” My website developer said.

“All good. How's Marcy?” My joy was easier to fake for others. “Tell her the chocolate chip cookies she sent me last month are on the brink of extinction.”

“Hey I didn't even get to eat that batch. My mom sent it all to you.”

“She just loves me more. How's the website though? You can shut it down next Monday, right?”

“Absolutely. But are you sure about this? You can't go back on it.”

“I know and it's for the best. Cherry suggested I could do this as a side business with a few clients but it won't be the same. It's either this or nothing at all. Although you're still stuck with me, with or without a website.”

“Website gives me relevance but it's alright. You don't owe it to me.”

“Hey don't say that. You know if I start something else and need tech you're the only candidate for it. But I won't hesitate to just hang out, preferably you bring your mom too.” Marcy is the next best thing I have to a mom, regardless of one that was alive.

“Definitely, but you owe us all a drink before it actually ends.” Drew laughed and I acknowledged for the tenth time, how much I'll miss this.

Drew, Cherry, Leonard, my dream team.

I spent my free day on the only person who wouldn't upset me.

Pampering myself with clothes and shoes, I scoured the mall for jeans, dresses and stilettos. I loved the way each one of the heels gave me added confidence with height.

A Michael Kors Plisse midi dress looked suitably fashionable for meeting Elliott's family on Sunday so I ended up buying it for myself.

As I waited for my burger and coffee in the food court, my dad called me. I hadn't heard from the man in weeks so it was nice to know he still thought of me.

“Hey dad.”

“Ciao Remone. Where are you? I hear noises in your background.” He didn't live in Italy but his accented voice could convince me otherwise.

“I'm at the food court in the mall. That must be it. Anyway, how's your health?”

Since he was diagnosed with asthma five months ago I've asked him to take it easy. No judge needs to do cardio in the court but he has found a way to make me anxious about his lungs.

“Never been better, figlia. Though you should think about yourself first. Get out of your house more and quit your brothel. It's high time you got settled. I've been on the lookout for a decent plot around here and I'll hold onto it until you find a husband. You could build your own place and I wouldn't have to worry much about you when you're a two minute walk away.”

“For the last time, it's not a brothel and who's to say I haven't settled already. I have a comfortable job, private life, my own penthouse and I haven't been happier. I know you mean well but your words make me feel as if this isn't enough. I am not enough. I don't need another mother in my life. I'm hanging up if you've got nothing else to say.”

My voice was audibly shaky disregarding the intent behind my words. Younger me would have absolutely been proud of the facade I was putting up. I've not always been a better pretender than an acceptor. It was one of the recently self taught skills my mother unknowingly fostered into me.

Something felt off until I realized I hadn't told him I'd be quitting my job. That has been his dream but I won't be telling him about it, not after I lashed out on his impertinent need to control my life.

“You know I didn't mean that, figlia.” Once again he was keeping me under the impression that it was me being dramatic rather his verbal intrusion making me uncomfortable. “I'm coming to visit next month. I can get one weekend off. Don't worry about my cases , someone owes me some favors.”

If my dad weren't a law abiding citizen his mafia-like words would have scared me. “They can cover up for my work for two days. Will you have time?”

“It's a month in the future, I'm not sure. But I'll make time. Wait, my food is here. I'll talk to you later. Take care of yourself. You don't need to go for mile-long runs, your cholesterol levels are fine.” I sounded bossy causing my father to explode into laughter.

This back and forth I had with my father vexed me on a daily basis. I was so caught up in what my perception of him was that he remained the only parent still perceptible in my life.

“I'm not the one you should worry about. Get out of the house more, you need a social life.”

With that I got up to take my food wondering if he even knew who I was. My life's plenty social even without him in it.

I was lost in thoughts when a man in a gray hoodie bumped into my shoulder. The force caused me to stumble in my steps but I regained my balance. I'm relieved that I wasn't holding a tray of food, that would now be placated on the patterned marble floor. Scorn in my eyes, I turned to face him but the mask on his face hid his inconspicuous features, other than his deep blue eyes. Like the trenches of the unknown ocean, it pulled me in his gaze before he scurried off.

Despite the resistance, I refused to let a stranger ruin a good burger and coffee.