The Casino Billionaire

Chapter 11

It's been three weeks since all the chaos happened. Shawna has almost fully recovered and we are back into our normal routine, except she nows goes to meetings twice a week to help with her gambling problem. She is bound and determined to never let that happen again. I sit on the couch every night thinking about Jason. He has become my addiction. I've even driven by the casino to see if his limo is parked out front. He hasn't contacted me at all once he walked out the door that Monday morning. My heart feels broken and we never had a relationship, friendship, nothing but a crazy weekend of back and forth. I never got his number or gave him mine. He knows where I live. I guess I wasn't what he wanted after all. For a moment I thought we had a connection. When he slept on my chest and I held him, it felt like we were meant to meet, meant to find each other. Just a stupid girl hoping the rich guy would fall for the poor girl.

Flipping through the channels, I sit straight up when his face appears on one of those gossip shows. Turning the volume up to hear what they have to say. I normally don't watch this stuff. It is all just trivial crap, usually.

The commentator starts spewing words all chipper, "This is the third time in two weeks we have caught Billionaire Jason Joens and supermodel Blake Hunter out together. Tonight they are attending a charity event for a very prestigious children's hospital. Don't they make a stunning couple? It seems they have been inseparable lately. Shouldn't be long before we catch a ring on that gorgeous hand of Blake's! It is about time this eligible bachelor has been snatched up!"  I felt like vomiting. Her name is Blake??? Really?? I scream and throw the remote at the wall.

Shawna comes running into the living room just as they move on to the next story. "Oh, God! Are you kidding me?" She engulfs me in a hug as I sob. I never really said anything about the feelings I have for him. She just knows. That is what best friends do, they just know. "He didn't look happy in any of those photos or videos that I caught. His face looked, sad." 

"I knew that it could never be, hope springs eternal, even when it drops your heart from a ten-story building to splash all over the pavement." I wipe the tears from my face and compose myself. Need to get over this. Why dwell on what would never be?

That just ruined my day. Shawna helped me to bed and help me until I cried myself to sleep. My dreams were full of what might have been which didn't help me feel any better about seeing him holding hands with some bombshell that's mother gave her my last name as her first. When I woke in the morning I was thankful for it being a Saturday. My face looked like I had been in a boxing match the night before. My eyes red and puffy, lips purple, and chapped. I must have cried more in my sleep and not known it. Shawna peeked through the bathroom door, her face drooping from a smile to a frown as she moved in to hug me again. How can I be this distraught over a man I spent four days with? I've never felt this way about any man. I got through a break up after a two-year relationship easier than this. What the hell is wrong with me?

"You fell in love with him." It is like Shawna was reading my mind.

"I think I was in love with the idea of him." Pushing by her out of the bathroom and making my way back to my warm safe bed. The only place I could think of right now where the world cannot hurt me today.

Another week goes by and I still feel like a zombie. Chad did everything he could think of to cheer me up. I know it was killing him inside that it isn't him that I feel this way about. Still, he put that all aside and tried to take my mind off of Jason Joens as much as possible. At one point he did get me to smile. Only for a moment before the black cloud of sadness fell back upon my heart. Why can't I shake this? Because he is the one., echos through my head. But, I am not the one for him. How do you know that?  Because he is not here with me.

Now I am having an argument in my head. This has got to stop! I am nowhere near his level according to the laws of society or whatever. It's like one of those cheesy 80's movies where the girl from the wrong side of the tracks falls for the rich kid in high school. The sad thing is, in the end, they end up together. My story doesn't seem to be heading in that direction. Maybe I should just give in to Chad and let him take me out. Sparks could fly taking us out of the work setting and into a social one. Don't push yourself to fall from a man that isn't the one for you. We don't settle! Be patient. Love isn't perfect but, it will always find a way. Now I am being counseled by my own conscious? Ugh, I need help.

When I get home there is a large bouget of roses on the counter. Shawna comes flying into the living room with a huge grin on her face, "These came for you about an hour ago." She bounces as she hands me the card inside.

I apologize for my absence over the last month. It is not what I had planned. Emergencies pulled me away. I would like to see you. Tomorrow at 7 p.m., a car will be there to pick you up. Dress formal.

Sincerely,

Jason

"No. No. No. No." Shaking my head, I drop the card and head for my room,

Shawna picks it up and reads it following me, "Why not? He can explain what happened."

"What, he can explain that things didn't work out with his supermodel girlfriend so now the idea of us is back on the table but we would have to keep it on the down-low because then when the press looks into my background and sees that I am nothing special, they will talk s**t all over the tabloids about me. No. I am not the second choice. I should be the only choice!" I close my bedroom door in Shawna's face. Not meaning to be rude even though it seemed that way.

"Jen?," She knocks on my door, "Jen come on, give him a chance to explain. Do you think he would've done everything he did if he felt nothing for you?" She tries to reason with me. It isn't going to work. The pain I have felt in my heart for the past month, God, if he does this to me again he might as well rip it out and take it as a trophy.