How to Succeed In Business in a New World

Opportunity Knocks

    I started to question my decision to bring the tools to the wood and not the other way around on the trip back into town the next morning. All I really needed was a hammer and some nails but after a little too much “better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it” rationalizing my arms were laden with saws and tools of all sorts, a few I didn’t even know how to work. But it sure didn’t help that someone was insisting on beginning the moving process in the same trip and I was elected to carry the bulk of the stuff. Even with my renunciation of undue kindness I didn’t want her father to see me making off with half of his tools and not helping his daughter. The whole process was difficult and made me swear up and down to myself that I was going to be at least a little more selfish than I was planning on being before even. As soon as we arrived I left her to her own devices and started the long awaited construction project. It was so out of character for me to be so eager to get to work to be working so diligently but I guess that was just the result of having the idea for so long. It just felt good to get the idea out of my system and into the real world. It was shaping up pretty well with only a few minor hiccups, though they mostly stayed limited to losing the nail I had just dropped and finding it a few moments later with my foot. I almost felt like I had missed out on my calling as a carpenter until I realized that things weren’t standing as straight as when I had nailed them together, but after a bit of investigation I figured out that I should probably be putting multiple nails in the ends and not just one in the middle, as much as it would save on resources it would also slightly ruin the whole project. In the end it only felt like it took me two or three hours but as it turns out the total ended up being closer to around six or seven. I suppose that was the trap of working with next to no natural light. Though that was still leagues better than my assumption that it would be a multiday process, but there was still plenty of time to realize I had ruined something drastically and I’d need to make corrections. I had plenty of experience with gaming and anime marathons but this was probably the first time I had ever done something productive in one of those time holes. Since I had spent such a long uninterrupted time doing a single task I could only wonder what else had been going on in the house, there was supposed to be another person around here somewhere, I was surprised I hadn’t heard something from her at any point since we got here so I couldn’t help but be suspicious. There wasn’t really all that much trouble she could have been getting into, with any luck she was just fussing about with the smattering of home goods we had brought over this morning though I had no clue how that could occupy you for anywhere close to the period of time it had been. Going up to check on her only served to prove me to be the wrongest man who ever lived. She was still laying out her clothes, there wasn’t any closet or wardrobe in here so it seemed she was just planning on storing them out here in the open. It did give the drab room some bursts of color but in her goal to make the room look nice and fully decorated it seemed like she was trying to make a dollar out of 99 cents. Try as she might she wouldn’t be able to make much of an impact without getting some more decor pieces in here. Of course I wouldn’t dream of saying that to her, it would be too much of an admission that she needed to make a few more sizable purchases and that admission would be much too easily confused with permission. Obviously getting more furniture and actually making this a livable place was on my to do list as well but I was far from eager to spend the capital that would be required to do so. Though since I was able to finish my project for the day in a much shorter amount of time than I had allotted it was a definite possibility that we could go out and get some more work. Or I could even go out alone and let her keep working on the puppets. On all of our more orthodox quests I had been doing pretty much all of the work so as long as I didn’t get so roughed up that I couldn’t limp back home to be healed I’d be fine. I was having some trouble deciding if it was a con or not but I would be getting a bit of a lead in terms of experience points. I don’t think I would be gutsy enough to take on anything that would give me a whole level up or anything but that minor gain may compound if I made a habit of it. Though in most cases whatever advantage I got now would be erased as the levels started getting longer and harder to come by. On top of that considering my levels weren’t as valuable as hers due to my class then I really shouldn’t be shying away from any advantage I could get. I should probably also get around to speccing for a class and pick up the proper skills for it. At this point all the roadblocks other than my own indecisiveness were rapidly fading away, it was just so hard to say for sure what I wanted to do. It was easy to know that I wouldn’t want to pick any type of healing class for the sake of party composition. So maybe the real answer here was to fill out the party with other classes so I could figure it out by process of elimination. Of course I wasn’t looking to add dozens of people to my party but maybe one or two would make the field of choices a little less crowded by knocking out the supergroups that classes fell into. Becoming more of a back row caster would be nice but it may be sort of emasculating. I had no trouble with it in games but focusing your whole real life around may start to have an effect on your psychology long term. It would be a delicate balance of how much I am willing to put myself in harm's way and wanting to not look like you were afraid of putting yourself in harm’s way. There had to be some rational way to balance those two sides of the coin, though an equal balance isn’t necessarily ideal. Maybe some soloing would help me find my identity as an adventurer a bit more, after all nothing in this life is guaranteed other than the fact that you can only count on yourself. All it would take was for Marie’s father to get sick again, serious enough that he needed daily treatment, and I would be reduced to a party of one. Sure in theory I could join a party or get some new companions, but in reality there was no way I was socially capable enough for that. I wouldn’t even be where I was without the greatest occurrence of dumbluck ever recorded in history. As much as I could complain about Marie, rightfully or not, she was frankly more than I probably deserved. The greatest challenge I could give myself was to find someone new for our party on my own, almost just to prove it to myself that I could. On second thought that likely wasn’t the best idea, if I made the reward proving something to myself then I probably wouldn’t be aiming too much higher than the absolute bare minimum. So it would be great if we wanted an absolute level zero with no real skills yet but that was not at all what we wanted. In theory it would be as simple as posting a notice on the guild bulletin board saying we were looking for another member of roughly equal experience but I had an absolutely abysmal history with that type of thing. Be it forum posts or just messages in class group chats I had a response rate in the single digit percentages, if not totally zero. I guess it was just that my social ineptitude somehow would peer through in every small outreach I would make. Even in guild chats, where everyone was supposed to be on the same level as me in terms of social status, I was ignored far more often than not. It would probably prove much easier to just make a connection with someone in person and then once we have a rapport established we can ask them to join. Now the only trouble was where to find someone to do that with. It was a venn diagram with as of yet not overlap between people we could recruit and people we would want to recruit. We had made decent friends with Catherine but she wasn’t exactly fit to come out on missions with us, she would probably be useful in identifying things if we were to ever go on a dungeon run but I don’t know how enjoyable it would be to be the only actual combatant protecting two people from everything a dungeon could throw at us, though I couldn’t imagine the dungeons around here being all too vicious with the amount of traffic they probably see but that’d also mean they’re lacking in anything of worth. All of that was to say that going on a quest solo may be good for me.

I took my leave in quiet after encouraging the budding designer to not forget about working on the puppets, not making any mention of where I was going or even that I was going out at all. If she wanted to make assumptions about what I was doing when I left her sight then that was up to her. Going to the guild was an absolute breeze now that we lived only a few blocks away from it rather than at least a mile out of town. I could really imagine coming in almost daily now to see if there was anything of interest available. Maybe now we could be a little more choosy with what we take now that we can take much more frequent samples, it’d be easier to justify walking away empty handed when we could come back later in the afternoon if we really wanted to. I did have to tell myself it was already pretty late in the afternoon, so if I do actually find something to do then I would probably need to get started on it tomorrow. Maybe there would be something interesting that could be done overnight, either hunting something nocturnal or maybe something with the stars or moon or something. I wasn’t going to be particularly picky, just looking for something I could do on my own and to keep the cash flowing in, slow as it may come in. A few bucks here and there would hopefully add up, or at least keep the bankruptcy monkey off our backs. After all now that we weren’t going to be living somewhere that literally grew food it’d be an actual noticeable expense now, which meant we should probably get used to cooking for ourselves instead of going out to eat whenever we passed somewhere that looked good, which meant we would also need a space to prepare food. I don’t know how the old man survived because there was no stove or oven or anything in there, even before he moved out. Maybe it would be a good idea to get a stove that ran off of that magic stuff, if we were going to be splitting the cooking duties then I wouldn’t be able to use anything where I had to keep a fire going with any consistency. Especially if I had to worry about the food as that was going on, sounded like a recipe for disaster. Probably the only recipe I really know. Even if I proved capable enough at doing it that wouldn’t mean I’d want to, that was the point of conveniences I suppose. Turning a knob was much more within my skill set and I wasn’t exactly dying to learn how to cook properly the old fashion way if I was already learning the skill to begin with. Better to start learning it at the most basic form possible. It was a financially dangerous thought process but I felt as long as I could limit myself in how often I made rationalizations like that we should be able to stay out of debt. Though of course debt was a matter of spending overtaking income. I wouldn’t need to limit spending as much if I could make the income nozzle a little wider, or not have to worry at all if I could increase the flow dramatically. Before I knew it I was chewing over that piece of thought gum while staring at the highest bounty notice there was or has been in all my time here. If I could find some way to kill this veritable leviathan then I’d be on easy street for the rest of the year, or I’d be able to rent out the whole easy street for a few months. It was just a matter of finding a way to spot and abuse the weaknesses of this thing. Maybe because of its size it wasn’t very maneuverable, though I wouldn’t be too agile in the water either, especially if I wanted some sort of oxygen solution. There had to be some sort of magic crystal that you could put in your mouth and it’d give you breath for a few minutes or something. Maybe I would even be able to make something of a spectacle of the attempt to kill the beast of the deep and get sponsored by whoever was selling said air crystals. It would probably be great publicity to have your product associated with such a heroic feat, but if the stunt failed then you’d be worse off than where you started. So I would need to convince someone with means that I would be able to do it, which would likely not be easy. I was aware of how I still came across, and without an impressive physical appearance or even any hint of name recognition I was left only with my resume which started a little over two weeks ago and most of the actual killing has been vermin, I doubt they would be too impressed by an egg delivery or winning a game of cards, the idea of finding a corporate sponsor was pretty much dead in the water. Much like I would be if I couldn’t find something to breath with. Something to attack with would probably do me some good too, the knife I had probably wouldn’t even do much to get through the monster’s hide much less do lasting damage. As much as I had nurtured the net idea this wasn’t exactly the scenario where it would pay off. The main problem here was scale, maybe get a rope around its neck and tying it to an anchor would be viable, all I would need is to convince a ship to let me use their anchor. I just wasn’t equipped with anything of the magnitude required for an undertaking like this and frankly even with the abnormally large amount of funds we had I don’t think it was enough to get sufficient equipment. Maybe it was time for me to put back the quest notice and come back another day when I had the right stuff at my disposal, be it strength, funds or credibility, something would have to change rather drastically for me to be able to start with a significant chance at success. It was really more a matter of being better safe than sorry. I didn’t even want to get in the water unless I had a path to victory and a path to escape. I should also be prepared to be down there for some time in case my escape route isn’t available for whatever reason. Maybe instead of actually looking for a job to do I could look through the skills list again and find something that could address each of my use cases. I had a few points banked so I could get one for each or even ones that would work in synergy with each other to get my desired path clear as day. I wasn’t going to be so frugal with my skill ups now, after all if I could do this then I’d be able to buy the experience point for another level if I really wanted to. I probably shouldn’t be metally spending money that I didn’t have yet but if I could get a surefire victory then the ends would justify the means in a way. Though I wasn’t looking to spend the bulk of the reward money on paying for things I used to get the reward money. It’s not like it was enough to retire in the lap of luxury but it would be enough to let me relax for a long while, and I was hoping that if i played my cards right and did some investing of a sort that I would be able to get a pretty good passive income rolling in so I wouldn’t need to work unless I wanted to. And that was a big “unless”. I asked for the skills catalog and began idly flipping through, stopping and reading anything that particularly caught my eye. It was nice to not be restricted to to any one portion of the book since I was a generalist but everything had the same asterisk next to it denoting that any reference it made to specific ranges or measures would be diminished by at least 10% when used by a generalist. There were of course some skills that I was still too low of a level to pick up but they always seemed to catch my eye more than any of the others. It was sort of like looking through a cookbook just looking at the pictures of food, with no intention, skill, or ingredients to actually make anything. In the same way you’d imagine the taste of whatever delicious dish I could only help but imagine how it would feel to be using each and every one of these ridiculous spells and techniques, everything I’d be able to do with each one playing out like a cutscene in my head, showing off literally everything I could imagine using them for, from the combat to the relatively mundane. I felt like I was pretty much just a kid again, playing pretend with all the powers I saw on television. For now they were still just fantasies but they were somewhat attainable now. I really could achieve these things if I put in enough work. The leading reason I was always given by adults to work hard was so that I could achieve all of my dreams or some similar platitude, but I felt like one of the reasons why that never worked on me was because most of my dreams were a lot more centered on beams than they realized. I suppose it was some sort of poetic justice that now I had no work ethic when that was the only thing that would get me the ability to shoot beams now. I suppose it was a lesson that you never know what might be achievable for you in the future? I wasn’t sure if that was even a moral that should be taught to kids but it sort of sounded like one so that was probably what was meant to be learned from all of this. On one hand life was full of lessons like this, but on the other hand not everything had to be a lesson. I guess that was just how real life worked out sometimes, it was a strange and sometimes cruel thing. There was no way I was going to get through the entire book unless I wanted to be here all night and I don’t think the employees cleaning up would want me doing that so I was trying to just skim for the good stuff. It was more of a challenge than it really had any right being mostly because I was worried I would miss something useful, after all part of my whole combat philosophy was using things in unexpected ways so there was really nothing that could be skipped, and everything should be given some thorough consideration in case I could brainstorm some sort of use for it after a minute or two of thinking. It was an arduous process and there was no real way to make progress until I was done. I did memorize a few page numbers of things to look back to in case I couldn’t find anything better. Some of them were just a hair too specific and some were a bit too general and so on, too this or not enough that generally. They could work but I wasn’t going to be risking my life with just those as a defense, at least not until I was sure that there was nothing that could be a definite tide turner. The process sure wasn’t hurried along by the fact that I wanted to read the skills above my level too, figuring that it could be easy enough in the grand scheme of things to just grind out a few more levels before actually going through with the big one. It would be like a training montage of sorts, though not a montage and instead just my real life but with more training than I really preferred. Any way I could justify it to myself would have to do really, a few weeks of self torment and discipline would be worth it for the long rest period afterward. Just think about it like studying for midterms or finals, after a week or two of stress and agony you’d be set free for the term break. At least the feast or famine style wasn’t as soul crushing as having a job that would crush your soul five days a week and give you just enough time to decompress and prepare for another stint at the office. Maybe it was my underlying greed but I would always rather have all my time off as focused as possible, namely as soon as possible as well. That’s what made my no work ever lifestyle so appealing, it was better than waiting your whole life for retirement, just postpone starting work as long as possible. On the topic of avoiding work I was curious to see if there was anyway I could get something else to do my work. Of course all spells and skills were a way to reduce the amount of effort needed to achieve something but I was looking specifically for something that could do all the work of a human. Flipping towards the back of the book I found the section for Summoners, frankly if I were able to pick a class without the pressures of being at a disadvantage it would be a Summoner. That way I’d still be responsible for dealing most of the damage but I wouldn’t have to actually put myself at risk. It seemed like even for skilled mages it was something of a secondary class to pick up down the line to exploit physical weaknesses. If you started out as one it seemed like you’d be stuck summoning bugs and other pitifully small stuff as familiars for a good long while before you could do much of actual use, it was tempting to set my sights on it now and keep grinding away until I could get the skill of my dreams, the ability to summon a golem. That would be the best possible skill for a want to be NEET to have. Instead of going out to work myself I could send my loyal and obedient servant out into the world and do all my manual labor around the house. Depending how well I could control it, going outside may become a thing of the past.The only thing that gave me pause was how distant that goal seemed, there was little chance that I could convince myself to delay satisfaction that long even for such a noble goal. But maybe there was another way, scribbled underneath the entry for create golem there was a crude pencil doodle and the text “Need a golem? Come to Baccaport Golems for Hire!” There was an address under the sloppy and cartoonish golem flexing a bicep. It was worth a shot to see what the prices were like, if they were affordable enough then maybe I could use one as something of an autonomous fighter in the battle against the sea monster. It had the benefit of not needing air and it would be pretty much fine if it got brutally destroyed, sure maybe I wouldn’t get my security deposit back or something but that was still greatly preferable to the alternative. Maybe I’d even be able to hire one out long term and have work jobs to pay for itself, and depending on how thin the margins are I could get an army of them under my control until there was enough cushion in the budget for me to live comfortably off the profits. Though since it would all in theory be through the same place I doubt they’d let that go on for too long if the scale ends up getting absurd. They’d at least start jacking up their prices to the point where that wasn’t viable.

I don’t really know what I expected from a place that advertised through petty vandalism but I guess I was pretty off base or else I wouldn’t be surprised by how small the operation was, at least from the exterior. I had half expected a yard out back with golems waiting to be animated and a major floor space for constructing them but the whole building was scarcely bigger than a single room or two. There was a second floor to the building but the way the signboard was hung it looked like the upper level was residential. At first I tried to reconcile that they had all the intensive stuff in a basement but I knew in some way that was just wishful thinking. If I was surprised by how small the shop itself was then the actual shopkeeper would only be continuing that trend. She couldn’t have been an inch over five feet tall and looked like her teens were at best just starting. I tried to not let the surprise show on my face and I felt a pretty good job with rolling with it. 

“Excuse me is your father around?” I suppose it was possible that she was an apprentice or something but it seemed much more likely that she was just standing in for her dad while he worked on something in the back.

“What did you just ask me?” Her voice was surprisingly deep, not enough to be forgein from a little girl but she probably wasn’t quite so young as I expected. 

“Oh I’m sorry I just wanted to know if your dad or mentor or whoever is in charge was available I’d like to speak to him.” She definitely took issue with something I had said so this go around I tried to tweak a few things so as to come across as a jerk or anything. Though it was sort of irresponsible for the person running the place to leave a little girl in command of things when it seemed like she wasn’t able to handle it.

“I’ll have you know I’m the one in charge here! I’m nobody's apprentice, if you want the person in charge you want me!” She was slamming on the counter and it looked like she was getting ready to climb on top of it to continue berating me closer to my face.

“Oh I’m sorry it’s just you seemed too young to be a proficient summoner.” My apology may have been made under duress but I feel like it was still a reasonable mistake to make. There was no way she had never had this happen before it didn’t seem feasible to get this angry at someone making a mistake that would be rather common every single time.

“Ever hear of a PRODIGY?! Huh!? P-R-O-G-I-D-Y!” She had climbed onto the table and was jabbing her finger into my chest at every point of emphasis. It was starting to seem unrealistic that I would be able to carry out a normal business transaction with this girl.

“I-I guess I hadn’t considered that…” She was still staring me in the eye from no more than a few inches away. 

“And another thing! I’m probably a lot older than you think I am! Go on, take a guess!” This was always a dangerous question to be asked by a woman I knew that much, and this situation seemed like it was an even more threatening minefield. I was gonna add a few years onto my guess as much as it was against tradition.

“Uhh… um… Sixteen?” My hesitation would be my undoing with most women but it seemed here even my eventual answer pissed her off. 

“Sixteen?!? Really?! How old did you think I was before I started raising a fuss about it huh? Was that even your real guess or did you just add four or something because you knew I would be mad at your real answer?! I’m 23 you know!” I could from how her face twisted that my surprise was noticeable.

“You’re older than me…” I tried not to sound too in disbelief but I was trying to put out a fire with gasoline here.

“I thought I was older than you! But I wasn’t going to make any assumptions based on that because I have the common sense to know that people don’t always look their age! I also have enough common decency to not bring it up!” The finger jabs had made a return. If I was a person who was more inclined to take sudden actions I would have grabbed that finger around now. There was a rather lengthy silence, the only noise either of us were making was her enraged snarling. Once it had started to subside I felt comfortable speaking without fear that she would just start shouting me down again.

“I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”

“Damn right you did.” She was climbing back down from the counter now so it seems that I had survived the worst of it. “So what brings you here?” She composed herself very quickly after all of that.

“Well I had just seen your… ad in the guild catalog and I was wondering…”

“Wait! You saw that! Hahaha! YES! I knew that would work one of these days! I put that there over a year ago!” I guess I never really considered how long ago it was made, the book didn’t seem like it was updated all that frequently.

“Oh so you’re the one who-”

“Wait! That means you’re an adventurer right? Ah that was the greatest idea I had ever had!” Whereas before she was just crying to the heavens she now snapped her head directly towards me at what seemed like literally break-neck speed. “You know I pretended to be a lost child looking for my dad to get in there, I was gonna post on the bulletin board but someone had left that book open on a table while they got another beer and I figured the staff wouldn’t notice for much longer if I put the ad in there. My dad always says it’s a waste of time to try to break into adventuring from the ground floor, our time is better used on construction and corporate clients and whatever.”

“I thought you said you were in charge here?”

“Well my dad helps with all the overhead and finances and stuff… But I do all the golems! Honest!” For someone who had just been screaming in my face she sure seemed to be invested in whether I believed her or not on this. 

“Okay, I believe you. But that’s really impressive, even if you’re uh… a bit older than I thought, it’s still sort of amazing that you can create golems.”

“Oh yeah I wasn’t lying when I said I was a prodigy, but I did have to work really hard for it though. My dad was trying to get me to learn spells as soon as I could talk.” It seemed like that wasn’t an arrangement she had particularly fond memories of so I wasn’t going to ask her to elaborate on what was probably not a hyperbole. “But what am I saying? You’re an adventurer right? Well of course unless you pretend to be looking for you dad to get in too but that doesn’t seem very likely…” It seemed like she would keep on rambling if I let so I decided to just cut her off.

“Yeah I’m an adventurer, I just started no more than a month ago though.” It wasn’t really anywhere near a month but it was no more than a month. It felt like it would be almost disrespectful to tell a girl who spent her formative years practicing magic that I was only gainfully employed for less than two weeks now. A little exaggeration couldn’t hurt too much after all.

“That must be so fun! Ughh it makes me so jealous…” I wasn’t going to tell her that it was just busy work mostly and when it was exciting it was mostly due to the fact that your life was very realistically at stake. “But you’re pretty new in town huh? Do you have a party yet?”

“Sorta, I’m just going on all my quests with one other person. I don’t know if calling that a party would be misleading but that’s the situation.” It seemed like a fairly natural small talk question like if someone asked you what you do the next question you’d probably ask is where they work. There was a rough equivalency in my mind there so I really wasn’t expecting her to take a flying leap with her next question.

“So you don’t have a full party? Do you think I could join you guys??” Her eyes were pretty much twinkling as she awaited my answer.

“W-well I should really ask and discuss it over with my friend…” I was really trying my hardest to keep from stammering, my main goal was just to defer making any statements of substance. In my haste to give a nonanswer I didn’t realize that I had just called Marie my friend. I don’t think I had referred to her as that until this point, it felt especially weird that she wasn’t here when I did so. 

“I guess that’d be okay, but can you please, please, please just tell me what you think and come back first thing tomorrow morning with an official decision?” I know I was just thinking about how it’d be great to get another member and how great it would be to have a golem at my disposal and this would be two birds with a single stone but I wasn’t sure if it was worth it if the stone was this… unstable. As much as I wanted to say yes there was definitely a part of me that wanted this decision made in committee so that if it was a phenomenal failure it would be the failure of the committee and not of me personally. Though I guess I was the one who put together the committee so either way the outlook didn’t look good for me.

“I’ll probably end up voting yes but I just want the decision to be unanimous okay? You have to promise me that you’ll be okay if tomorrow morning I come back and the answer is no.” I still wasn’t sure myself but seemed like the most efficient way to avoid an awkward conversation. I could still make an executive decision to turn her down and just tell her I could swing my companion. That way I never had to tell her that I was ever even questioning the idea. After a somewhat lengthy goodbye with a generous dash more of pleading I was on my way home. The night was creeping further upon me and my head was practically swirling with the runaround of pros and cons. Logically she would be a great addition to our crew and we’d be able to do a lot more quests, but socially I was somewhat scared of her. More than even actually being in an awkward social situation I hated the threat that one could come about at any time and it sort of seemed like inviting her in would be like inviting that possibility to take up permanent residence with us. As opposed to the classic depiction of the sides of the brain as logical and creative engaged in eternal conflict for me it was more of skirmish between the side of me that was logical and the side of me that was socially inept. There wasn’t all that much too it other than the increasingly ridiculous hypotheticals that each side was constructing in the arms race that was this predicament.

I still hadn’t really reached any form of conclusion by the time I got home. I was tempted to just go to the house in town and sleep on the cot there but I really should actually have a discussion with Marie, or at least tell her about what happened. I had assumed that she would be coming back to the farm too but I had no idea when she got back. It was pretty late when I got back, I was quite sure but just going by my internal clock it had to be at least 10 o’clock which was pretty much the latest that things seemed to happen so far. Maybe back in the city there were bars and other establishments catering to the debauched that would be open and thriving right now but I couldn’t bother to be concerned with that type of thing. Marie still wasn’t back yet which on one hand worried me but on the other hand I was massively annoyed with her because I came all the way back here to talk to her and she wasn’t here. I suppose it would be easier for me to go in to town in the morning than it would be for her to come in had I been the one who stayed because I knew I needed to talk to her and she didn’t know that. Either way I went to bed with the matter still on my mind and another chore to attend to. I suppose that having that discussion was really the only chore I had for the whole day tomorrow but I’d still rather not have to go to bed thinking about it.

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