The Chase

Chapter 13

CECILIA

     "C'mon! Just stay in tonight! We can do whatever you want..." Tab begs as she watches me toss a few things into a large tote bag.

    "I wish I could but I already told Jasper I'd stay the night"

    "Jasper. Jasper. Jasper. " The words come out in a mocking tone as she plops down on my bed. She was right, as always.

    "Yes we all know how you feel okay?" I don't really try to hide my tone. I want her to hear my annoyance.

    "Okay, but you- you're never around anymore. Besides I feel bad about out fight.. We haven't talked about it.." It wasn't really a fight. She just made it clear that she wasn't a fan of Jasper and brought some of her opinions to light.

    She felt as though he was controlling me. The way I dressed. Things I did or ate. Where I spent most of my time. I did spend a lot of time with him but isn't that what people do in relationships? I know I wasn't the most well versed on the topic but it made enough since. I was just in the love bubble and he was just there with me.

    He wasn't controlling me, he didn't make me do anything. I liked to please him. If he didn't like how short a dress was or low cut a shirt was, I just didn't wear it. I wouldn't call it controlling. I'd expect the same of him if I didn't like something he was doing.

    "I know and I'm sorry about that. You know I love you Tab! I'll always be here for you when you need me." she looked at me with pity in her eyes. Anger spread across my body. Screaming to be let out. Consuming every part of me. I did not need her pity. 

    "You haven't been here! You're too obsessed with that control freak. You don't come home. You don't spend time with any of our friends. You even stopped dressing like yourself anymore. You've missed three days of work this week alone." She spat.

       So this was about work? Had I really called in three times? I feel like that was an exaggeration. Besides she wouldn't want to get out of bed either if someone like Jasper was in it. She opens later all the time when she's spent the night with one of her nightly conquests. 

    "You're just jealous someone wants me for me and not s*x like all our your 'relationships'!" Her eyes looked like they might pop out of her head and her face turned bright read as she opened her mouth to throw more vicious words at me.

    "Jealous? Who would be jealous of that pitiful excuse of a relationship. Do you honestly think a man like that wants anything to do with someone like you? He is manipulating you because it is clear as day just how mentally weak you are. You would do and say anything for some sort of attention resembling love." The smirk on her face meant she was pretty proud of what she had just said.

    "I have been alone our entire friendship. I actually think the only reason we are friends is that I was always around to deal with your mess of a life. Just pathetic enough to be around whenever you need me. But that isn't me anymore. I don't need you. You need me Tabitha." Her mouth fell out but nothing came out. She just sat there staring at me as tears began to pool in her eyes. I almost felt bad. "Why can't you just be f*****g happy for me? That's literally what friends are for!"

    That last bit came out as more of a whisper. I couldn't control myself. I boiled over, filling the room with fire and heat. I had never spoken to her like that. Come to think of it, I had never spoken to anyone like that. Mild mannered Cecilia always quiet. But it was so satisfying, to put her in her place. 

    "Feel free to walk because you won't be using my car anymore. You know since I'm such a horrible friend." With that I sling the bag over my shoulder and leave her frozen sitting on my bed. But the smile disappeared after I slammed the front door and hear her sobbing begin.

    I'd have to fix things later, when I wasn't still fuming. Nothing good would come from the current conversation.

*****

    "She just misses me" I argue between bites of the frozen yoghurt I had picked up on the way to Jasper's apartment.

    "Does she? I missed you for the two days you were too busy to talk to me but I wasn't rude about it." He had a point. Still annoying that he repeatedly brought up those two days. I didn't realize it would effect him that much.

    "I told you I just needed some time to think things over." I chew on my lip and avoid eye contact. It wasn't a lie. 

    "Things." he whispers the word with raised eyebrows. "Things you haven't told me yet."

    "It wasn't about you" I lie. The truth is he scared me a bit in the shower that day. It was my mistake for telling Tabitha at all. I should of know It would blow over. Being dramatic was a bad side effect of too much time spent with her.

    "I know. But you know you can always talk to me. I want to know what's going on with you." He places the containers once holding fro-yo on the table then pulls me into his chest and plants a light kiss on my forehead. He had a way of making things better. I always felt comfortable and safe when he was around.

    "Can you drive me to work tomorrow? Tab's not letting me borrow her car anymore." It made since, it was hers and she wasn't obligated to share things with me. I had almost forgotten it was her car at all. I used it way more than she did.

    "Yeah of course. I have been meaning to talk to you. There's an opening at my office. I could put in a good word for you." I pull back just enough to look at him.

    "I have a job." 

    "Yes but this one would pay more and it would mean we could drive to and from work together. Make it a bit easier on me. It also might be a good idea to get some space from Tabitha." He gave me a crooked smile before releasing me from out embrace and retreating to his desk chair.

    "You might be right. She was pretty upset when I left." If I didn't work with her or live with her anymore, when would I have time to talk things out with her? When would I really see her?

    "It would be a great opportunity for your professional growth." Professional growth? He sounded almost like he was talking to a child. Did I need to grow up? I guess I thought I was an adult by simply having a job. However informal it may be.

    "What would the job be? Mail room? Fetching people coffee?" The idea of me carrying a stack of Starbucks coffee cups amused me. Part of what I liked about my current job was that I didn't really have a boss to order me around and I could come and go as I pleased. Also the lack of dress code was nice.

    "You would be my personal assistance. Making my schedule. Taking notes at meetings. Running errands. Fetching my coffee if you'd like." He winked at me as the word coffee left his lips.

    "Oh so you just want some eye candy at the office?"

    "I hadn't thought of it that way but it would be nice to look up from my desk and see you whenever I want." His face twisted into a wicked smile as he licked his lips.

    "Isn't sleeping with the boss a no no?" I tease as he leaned further back in the chair.

    "Now that can we our little secret." 

     The idea of spending more time with him was appealing. Something about being his employee added a little spice to our already steamy relationships. And it's not like I couldn't use the money. I needed to begin saving for a car. But I also saw a point in what Tabitha had been saying. I spent so much time with him that I might not see myself changing. Not that he was changing me. Couldn't that be a good thing? 

    "Yeah that would be a change." I hated to acknowledge that I wanted it. Not to get away from Tabitha but he was right about furthering my career. But how would I tell Tabitha. She might hate me more than she already does.