Make it Work

Matrimonial Day 2

The first round is toast and ready, I take a plate and put the bread in the plate and place the plate on the kitchen counter and place bread in the toaster again. Mooch as I approach her sitting down holding her cheek looking dreary making me feel dubious on the thought of taking action. My heartbeat starts racing, my hands start shaking because of the uncertainty of how she might react to it. Damn it, I advance with haste, set myself behind her place my hands on her soldiers and slowly massage her. To my surprise, she responds to it positively to me massaging her. I smile with delight, in the moment, stretch myself over her head and kiss her on the forehead pull myself back and continue massaging her.

“Hmmm that is it Mr. Zimuto.”

I say nothing to her but I can feel that her body is no longer as tense as it was before and for a moment there, I forgot about the toast I am making for her.

“Ahem! I really love the massage but are you not forgetting something my love?”

“No, nothing that I can think of.” Shake my head in denial as I ponder on what I have forgotten.

“Really? I thought you were the one who was making toast for dinner on our wedding night today?” Vimbai says.

In a surprised tone, “Ohh damn, I totally forgot about!”

I make haste to the toaster and change the bread, head straight for the fridge to get the milk. She rises from the chair and walks towards me, her spirits seemed more lifted than before. She is smiling at me and she looks shy and so innocent, reminds me of that day when I first gathered the courage to talk to her, I smile back staring at her while holding the package of milk in my hand.

“What?” she says as she begins to laugh.

“Nothing, nothing really, it is just that I am happy you seem so happy and damn you look so beautiful with that smile on your face.” reply looking at her blush

“Ohh, so I did not look beautiful before?” she says as she pulls me closer to her.

As a man, I know this is probably one of those times I have to take charge and stuff, but fear of advancing into this at the moment took grips of me, quick to think I turned my head to look at the toaster to see if the bread has been crisped up by the toaster. And to my rescues, the finished toast came and I look at her,

“Umm, let us resume this conversation after we have finished eating. Let me finish preparing our wedding night food so that we can eat and gather up our strength for the night ahead.”

She laughs softly and I can see she has caught up to what is going on, that I am afraid and I am trying to run from this. But either way she releases me from her grip and she just wait there beside me as I finish preparing the food. I take the plates and set them on different sides of the table, and Vimbai is just there watching me as I set everything. I take the glasses and do the same. We wash our hands and head straight for the table.

“Let us say grace first before we eat.” I say as I bow my head and stretch my hands to her.

“Okay love!” as she spreads her hands, take a grip on my hands

“Thank you, God, for the food, Amen!”

“Amen! I did not know you were into the God stuff.” she says seemingly surprised.

“I am not, but you are!” I reply her as I draw my plate closer.

There she goes, get up from her chair, grab her plate and glass of milk starts walking towards me. Slowly I slow down my chewing as I observe her as she makes her way to me, what is she up to now I just thought to myself, no longer chewing, holding on to the food in my mouth. She sets her food beside mine, grabs my arm, removing it from the table, I swallow the partly chewed food as she sits on my lap and continues immediately continues eating and I just observe with an open mind, my eyes wide open with my heart pounding hard and fast. Is this how a man is supposed to act like really? Because right now I am not feeling like a man.

“Ahem, umm, how am I supposed to eat now?”

“Let me feed you.” she says as she reaches her hand into my plate.

She breaks some bread from my plate, put it in my mouth gently but sadly the flavour of the food starts becoming distasteful when your body is concentrating elsewhere. Smiles at me as I chew the food, she is feeding to me like a baby. And I admit to myself today is the first time we have head the shortest conversation and maybe it is my fault. But I am glad she is smiling more like before she had that daunted moment. We are no longer talking but just taking long to finish three bread toasts each while exchanging facial expressions. Not really how I imagined spending my wedding night with my wife. All those tales about wild night and crazy things happening are in my mind but this feels just as good.

“Will excuse me for a second, we left the car unlocked, I need to go to the garage and lock it then we can go to bed.”

“It is okay you can go. But do not take too long.” she sounds a little disappointed in her reply.

“I promise I will not be long.” I utter these words trying to make her a little better.

“Good!”

She gets up off my lap, and soon after I get up too and she laughs at me.

“What? Is something on my clothing? You did not do something to me did you?”

She continues laughing and says to me, “Yes, I did and I will do more when you return.”

In my mind am still wondering what is wrong. She pulls me closer to her, puts her hands around my neck and stares directly in my eyes. She softly kisses me; I do not respond immediately because of the sour taste I tasted when we kissed at the altar. I decide to advance more, I wrap my hands around her waist in response. This as far as I know to go as a man. She pulls away from and removes my hands from her waist.

“Slow down boy, I know you hungry but you can eat once you done with what you have to do.”

“But ……”

She puts a finger on my mouth to stop me from blabbering.

“Do not worry, I am here, I will not go anywhere, just go and close the garage and come back.”

Disappointed by her words, “Ohh, come on honey.”

“Do not worry about anything, just go and make sure everything is closed and comeback then we will continue from there.” She says showing she is no longer disappointed.

Turns me around and spanks me.

For a moment there my anxiety had gone and my excited body overzealous. But that will have to wait, as I make haste to lock the car and close the garage. Everything looks good to me, even the walls look like they are dripping milk and honey. The feeling of feeling these is making me childish. I get to the garage gate, open it and enter, head straight towards the car, search for the keys inside my pocket and I cannot find them. I look inside the car and there they are. I open the door, check if everything is okay inside it.

“Everything is all good, let me close up and head back to my wife now.”

Lock the doors, cross check and head out of the garage, lock it as take a step into something sticky, I look down. Is this why she lost her strength, fell down and fainted? She must be very sick; I need to be with her right now more than ever and maybe going on a honeymoon would allow me to take care of her better in a nation with high quality medical care. But first I will take here to the hospital tomorrow so that the doctors can check and see what is wrong with her. The zeal that I had for getting with her on our wedding night completely vaporized again. The feeling is now different from before, instead of worrying about her being a mistake I made, I am now worried about her health. I enter the kitchen where I left her, she is no longer there but the plates and glasses of milk are still there. I pick them up and arrange them inside the dish washer and head straight upstairs to the bedroom. She is not here also, where is she? Before I continue my search for her, I change my clothing and while doing it I see a white stick with a light on in one of the drawers as I close it. Head straight into the bedroom bathroom. And there she is, leaning against the toilet seat in tears, with her heard resting on her arm. I make haste to pick her up from the toilet floor.

“What is wrong, Vimbai? why are you not telling me anything? I am your husband after all!” I ask hoping she will confide in me.

Crying and holding on to the muscle top I am wearing she says to me, “I am sorry! You deserve better than this.”

Hold her tighter close to me and say to her, “How am I supposed to know and understand if you are not telling me anything, love?”

She continues to cry without saying anything, but at this point I am more confused as to what is going on with her and why she is not saying anything. Does she not trust me? I thought the basis of marriage is love and trust. But why does this feel like she is blocking me, maybe I am just being too impatient. I will have to wait until she opens up to me but definitely tomorrow, I am taking her to the hospital.

“It is okay, I am here, we are in this together. I will wait until you are ready to open up to me when you ready.”

Place my lips on her head gently. Remove my grip on her, hold her on her shoulders, stare directly in her lachrymose eyes,

“For now, let us just go and take a rest, my little anime, everything will be fine, I promise you that. Nothing will happen to you on my watch as long as I am alive.”

Nod her head and jumps on me holding onto me tight. I do not understand what just happened though. But at this moment the feeling feels so warm again, but why does this keep on happening to us on our day? This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

“Let us go and take a rest, we will continue with everything tomorrow.”

Turn with her in my arms head straight toward the bed. But why God, does she have to suffer like this and I feel less like a man because I am not able to assist her in anyway. But what has she done to deserve what is happening to her, for I cannot bear to see another tear of sadness, all I wish to see flow from her eyes are tears of joy, tears filled with love and emotion? Lay her down on the bed and turn to leave the room and just when I am about to go out of the room, she calls my name. Why now though, with all that has been going on just thought maybe I can rest finally.

“Where are you going?”

“Thought maybe I can crush on the sofa for the night with everything going on.” I enunciate

“Why would you go and sleep on the sofa for? Is there something wrong?” she directs another question to me.

“No, I just thought ……...”

“Thought what?” she cuts me off with another question.

I look down, in my head it is ringing that if I say something wrong, she might get upset with me and the only way to prevent that from happening is to just shut up and return back to her and get in bed right next to her.

She presses on trying to understand, “HELLO! Thought what?”

Not wanting to escalate this any further I turn back and say, “Nothing, let me come back and sleep.”

“Okay good.” She says but her voice sounds more disappointed than before.

Mooch to the bed with her looking at me, no smile on her face, rubbing her nose with red eyes. I slowly climb onto the bed and sleep looking the other direction, because right now I cannot bear seeing her like this and not being able to do anything about it is making me feel less like a man.

She laughs and says, “Come on! Are we a primary school couple? Why are you being like this?”

Turn over to face her and hold her in my arms close to my chest. Bet she can hear my heart pounding fast in fear. ‘The one that loves your scars is the one that deserves your love and affection because they will be patient enough to heal all your scars,’ but is that what I am doing here? I feel every scar she has but it feels like I am not doing enough to heal her pain. People around e always say when you sleep besides the person you love, you fall asleep faster, but right now it feels like I will be up for the whole night. All these events that have just occurred are just making me restless. I look at her and wow she is already asleep, I smile upon having to see her so peaceful. I hope it stays like this all the time even when she is awake.