Make it Work

News Ingestion

“We are done here, let us proceed to the doctor seems we are right on time, so let’s get it over with I want to go home and rest.”

The mood she is in is just telling me to just follow without question or risk getting in trouble with my wife.

Enter the doctor’s office, and there she is Dr Shamhu, one of my old accomplices from high school and I just cannot believe I am getting to see her again during this lifetime. I thank God for this opportunity to link up with my old confidant. But the decree to act professional at the moment has been issued by my wife and her mood and going pal with my old friend might just arouse calamity. And with the look on Tendai’s face, she must have perceived the intense pressure waiting to explode upon release. Exchange greetings professionally, no casual feelings emitted from the ethical behaviour, set myself well to speak, she goes on ahead of me and begins to share the biological symptoms that have been occurring on her and I am just there feeling barricaded. I am beginning to wonder why I even came she could have come and gotten herself checked. My body just moves up out of the chair unknowingly and move out.

“Where are you going?”

“To the restroom,” reply holding the door.

“Okay.”

Here is my chance to escape for a while, leave them to understand each other better. Festinate out the office and head straight out of the hospital building straight for the car locked myself in. took a deep breath, and a buzz startles me coming from her handbag. I am curious to know what it is but at the same time I do not want to invade her privacy. She is my wife; she might not mind that I opened her phone to check who was trying to reach her. I reach into her handbag, take her the phone and there on the screen it is reflecting seven messages from someone named Steve asking what happened and asking where she is. Decisions have to be made at times like this, so I place it back in the handbag and leave the car for the doctor’s office taking my time pondering on indecisive thoughts. But who is this Steve and why is he texting her so much? Does he know what is going on with her? Maybe he is just a relative of hers but it does not seem like it though. The same questions continue repeating in my mind over and over trying to make sense of everything with everything that has been happening around me. Open the door to get into the office and there it seems like the doctor has left and she is alone in the office. Straight for the empty chair I was in before, sit down laying back focused still contemplating on everything.

“My love, are you okay?”

I do not respond still contemplating on my thoughts.

“Honey!”

“Michael, is everything okay?”

I remain trapped in my thoughts because everything that has happened only point to one thing but I am still waiting for her to tell me herself. But why me Lord, I know I do not attend church but I have always tried to be good to everyone in my life, then why me always in this king of predicament. You claim to love me like you love everyone else in this world, those who worship you and those who do not but I do not see it.

She stretches out her hand, grabs me by the arm and shakes me. I turn to look at her slowly and she has that expression on her face which says ‘hey, dude what is going on with you’ and I stare with a blank stare without any type of expression in my mind just thinking, ‘why me’. But you know what they say ‘As long as you are not there, there is no trust.’ But it seems like she is still talking to me, I should just reply so that she can go silent or she might continue trying to converse with me.

“I am okay, I just have a little headache.”

(She lays her hand on my head to see if it is true.)

“Yes, your temperature is high, let us wait until this is over with so I can attend to you.”

“No, it is fine, I will be alright.”

“What happened to you letting me do more as the wife?”

“It is okay.”

The doctor returns back with the results, no longer enthusiastic to find out what is wrong with her. But there is a chill on my spine that is telling me that nothing is going to be fine.

“The results are out!” holding a file in her hand and me staring at her eager to know.

She freezes for some time looking at the papers but she has not shown a sympathetic face or said those well know doctor phrases which mean things are as bad as they can get. So maybe I will be leaving the hospital without a stab.

“The first good news is, there is nothing wrong with your wife here Mr Zimuto she is perfectly healthy.”

“That is great, what is the other news you?”

“Congratulations, your wife is pregnant.”

My body gets up instinctively, I open the door and head straight out of the office for the car and just set inside waiting for her to come. I have heard that instincts are never wrong but I was hoping that all my thoughts are wrong but this just hit me hard. Unexpected turn of events and I have no way of counteracting it. How am I to feel in this situation? So, God just abandons me, right? Throw me in such a scenario that I do not know how to feel about everything that is going on in my life. Am I that stupid to have all these emotions still? Why is the universe playing these tricks on me now what did I do to receive this kind of life now?

There they are, she and the doctor, looking at me while sitting in the car pining over everything that has transpired. I bet she is lying to my former friend right now about everything. Get out of the car and head over to the place where they are,

“Let us leave now for I need to go home and rest, you get me?”

“What about passing by work, thought you wanted to do something that is of importance?”

“Going in circles with you while you are pregnant is something I will not do, you get me?”

“Okay.”

“Do not worry about, this just took him by surprise and once he says something it is hard to make him change his mind so I will see you later, good day.”

“It was nice seeing you again Michael, and congratulations again!”

“Thank you, it was nice seeing you again, Tendai.”

“Let us leave now Vimbai.”

She takes the lead and I follow behind her, the news of her pregnancy I have no idea how to feel about it all and she feels calm about everything. Why? Why do I feel a sudden rage of uneasiness inside me? I need to get home and calm down really; this is just too much for me to handle and I do not even know what to do. Am barely noticing anything anymore, my eyes are on the road and my mind is elsewhere, scattered thinking if the doctor has made a mistake somewhere and that it is not true. The trials to turn to look at her are all but failing. Sooner or later, I will have to get my act together though and face reality because I cannot stay like this for a long time. She is here and I am here but somehow my mouth is sealed. Maybe I will be able to say something when we get home.

“You have not said much ever since the pregnancy news.”

I remain silent, the best resolution to this situation I think is to let it go and move on with life but this will be difficult. I can feel her gaze directed toward me focused on the road. But I will stay strong and abstain from replying or engaging into any conversation with her. She reaches for the flash drive, insert it and searched for a song. And there she selected one of my favourite songs by Fabolous ‘Us. Vs the world’ a classic. And she is singing along,

You make me feel some type of way

For better or for worse

Until death do us apart

You started with a canvas

And we turned into some art

I thought she does not like Fabolous or his music, why is she doing this and how the hell does she know that song now. Thought she does not care for it, is this her trying to get me to pay attention to her. This will not work on me though and we are about to get home and once we are there, I will be able to avoid her. These are going to be tricky times for me, what is next on your list of surprises God?

“We are here now, let me go and open the gate.”

“It is fine, I will do it,”

“Alright.”

Did she feel the annoyance my tone projected?

Act with haste as I leave the car so I can open the gate, as I slowly approach the gate, I turn to look at her and there she is melancholy with a tear running down her face and it looks like she has been crying throughout the whole drive home. Despite her sadness I will have to be strong and not fall for her womanly tricks to draw me in. I open the gate rush back into the car and as soon as I put my hands on the steering, she lays her head on my shoulder. Evidently firm on my resolve to ignore her but refrain from removing her from my shoulder because I can see her suffering and I do not like it. Park the car and head straight back to the gate to close it.

“Where are you going?”

“As you can see, I am going to close the gate!”

“But it is an automatic remote-control gate, there is no need for you to go there.”

I ignore her, she did not speak about it in the morning and even last night and now she brings it up? Why? I just need to clear my head. Everything is just too much for me to take.

Closed the gate now heading back to the garage, and there she is packing the food we bought at the supermarket. But since she is pregnant, I should not let her carry any of the bags. A sudden burst as I made haste to get to her. My body just moved on its own.

“Let me carry the bags.”

“Do not worry, I can do everything just as before, I am not sick remember.”

“Yes, I Know! You are pregnant, that is why I should be doing all the heavy lifting, you get me?”

“Okay,” she goes slowly moves into the house.

“You can go ahead and get inside now; I will handle this.”

Now that I think of it, she did not even resist when I suggested that we should go to the hospital, could it be that she did not know that she was pregnant? No! with how she was acting last night, I bet she already knew she is pregnant. The way she is looking right now, she is looking like a sad kitty, dolorous, it is imbibing me into wanting to hold her and tell her everything will be alright, even though it is not to me. I wish to just go over to her put her in my arms and assure her that we are going to be fine but that would be a lie because I feel far from being fine. Her betrayal is just too much for me to comprehend. Wait, we are still staring each other and neither one of us has said anything. Let me look away and carry the bags into the house.

I lift the bags and take the lead, turn to see if she is coming and there, she is following behind looking at me the same way she was. This situation is very awkward but for the time being I have to focus on avoiding engaging on anything with her because it would be emotionally catastrophic. Get to the kitchen door, wait for her to come and open the door. She opens the door without saying a thing, and this time goes on ahead and heads straight to the refrigerator.

“Would you like anything to eat?”

“I have had a long stressful day; I think I need to sleep.”

“Ohh Okay, what about when you wake up?”

“I will see when I wake up, right now I just want to rest.”

Immediately I exit the kitchen straight for the guest room, I do not even turn to look at her to avoid riling up emotions inside me. I remove my shoes and clothing and fall on the bed to sleep. At this moment it does not cross my mind that I have not closed the door so I just sleep.

HOURS LATER (16 45)

Upon waking up, cannot find my clothing where I put them and I look at the door, it is closed. She has been in here? It is 16 45 I need to go bath and then eat. But I still need to avoid any engagement with her, all my life I have been a master of that at least and also making money. But never had any luck in this area of women.

Get off the bed and head straight for the main bedroom, where I come eye to eye with her sleeping on the bed and her face apparently signifies that she was crying right before she slept. Instantaneously I end up on her bed side, gently stroking her hair, and it feels like I am about to tear up myself because of everything that has occurred and the fact that I cannot stan seeing her like this. But the lies she told me have become too much for me to bear. One lie is enough to turn everything into nothingness. Subconsciously, I slowly descend and kiss her forehead, and she smiles in her sleep and for a moment I forget everything watching the baby movements she is making. She is my wife after all, maybe I am being too harsh at her without knowing all the details.

Festinate, headed for the bathroom, grab my towel on my way there. Bath fast, and head out to change, but somehow, I still cannot change with her in the room so I carry my clothing back to the bathroom to change there. Making no noise so I will not wake her up from her sleep. After putting on my white short and verse, I head out straight for the kitchen. I am under a lot of stress at the moment and I require my favourite delicacy to cool me down. The refrigerator is where I must begin my food expedition, with it packing the ice-cream. Collect the ice-cream from there and head for the kitchen counter place the lunch box there and collect a table spoon to enjoy the delicacy. Pick up the lunch box and head for the table and set on the chair with the lunch nicely placed in front of me with the big spoon in my hand. Dig in and drop the cold sugar cream in my mouth with my eyes close blocking the external disturbances to savour my favourite delicacy. Continue with the same pattern for a while, bonjour to the good life, I just wish for the good times to roll but in this life that is impossible. I will just have to make it work somehow; everything will come to pass. This is actually weird; I do not have music on me. Rise from the chair and head straight for the guest room where I left my phone humming the song by Mario, ‘I choose you’ softly climbing up the stairs. The atmosphere feels peaceful and blessed. Hopefully she is not awake yet.

I enter the room to the headboard, collect my phone and now I realise my earphones, headphones and speakers are in the main bedroom. And she is there sleeping, I just need to be circumspect and avoid waking her up. I turn to look at the door and there she is looking at me.

“Are we going to talk about everything?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“I am pregnant and it is obvious it is not your because you and I have never slept together.”

“I am not doing this with you right now.”

“Alright Michael, so when will you do this with me?”

“I never forced you to betray me, I never forced you to lie to me, and you went ahead and married me after all you did to me? Is there anything that you ever told me that is true even once in your life that is not your name, age and where you live and right before I came back to the office some man was texting you and did not read like friend to friend or brother to sister chats and here you are trying to force me to engage with you….”

“I know you are hurt, Michael, that is why…….”

“Why what? Is it the money? The rich and virgin man is dump I can do whatever with him tell him it is not his and he will love me because he is too soft and yeah if he chooses divorce, I get his cars and money right and companies too, is that so?” interjected shouting.

“Tell me why did you not even try to hide it from me? To protect me from this pain? And you want to give me another man’s child now is that it?”

“You let me drive to the hospital when you could have just told me you are pregnant and avoided me wasting my time and taking you to the hospital.”

She just stands there silent looking at me lachrymose and sad. But I cannot tear over this but really, I would love to go to her and hold her tell her I love her and everything is okay and will be fine but I have to stay strong and avoid showing such weakness.

“You would not even have the decency to tell me who the father is!”

“Who is the father?”

She remains silent while looking at me.

“Huh, I do not even know why I asked.”

Hurriedly move out of the guest room to the main bedroom, collect my headphones, put them on and return back to the kitchen to finish up my delicacy. It is always me in these dazed scenarios with women and I hate it at all. So, I am just going to ignore it and live my life but this marriage is just a show now. I searched and hoped my whole life keeping myself from engaging into s****l activities with women waiting for the perfect woman and this is what God gives me? It is a Saturday and tomorrow it is a Sunday she will be going to church I will have to go to the office and do my work. All those honeymoon plans I am now going to have to throw them under the bus. Arrive, only to find my ice-cream melted. I close up the lunch box and put it back into the refrigerator. Turn only to see her there at the door looking at me.

“Is there something you need? I am about to leave; I need to do some work at the office.”

I cannot move my eyes to look at her body anymore all I can do is look at her face. And it is looking swollen from all the crying and I wish I can end her pain but how can I, when I myself am in pain and she is the cause of it.

“Nothing, I am wondering if I should cook dinner for you or not?”

There is the question, she wants to cook for me? She wants to slip something in the food and make me her loyal toy who does whatever she wants!

“No! Do not worry about it, if I am late do not wait for me. But I do not think I will be late.”

“Okay.”

She is getting closer to me and I storm out of the kitchen head straight for the garage. Get inside my car, my heart beating fast while breathing heavy. The confused state I am in is driving me crazy. I wish there was a remedial treatment, some sort of therapy for the soul, a meditation that can ease my pain and dry the spiritual flow of tears on my soul cheeks. For this I have failed to supress inside me, and so it has managed to escape and surface and it is only a matter of time until my tears go from being spiritual to being physical. And my mother always tells me to look up to God and pray but where was he when all this was happening, I bet he is even laughing at my suffering right now.

All this goes in my head as I look up blindly, and return back to consciousness, get out of the car open the garage gate wide so that I can drive off and when I turn, there she is staring at me tears in her eyes. But who will ease whose pain if the other one is the cause of it? How am I really going to come to a conclusion I already made the mistake while blinded in the twilight? Am I a fool for loving her this much still even after such atrocities she has committed against me?

Drive off with these thoughts commanding my mind leaving her there. Everything goes white that instant.