N.O.W

Sam

I opened my eyes. It was morning. Another day like any other. I struggled to lift my head off my pillow before it became like a violent heat in my head. I cried out and tears rushed to my eyes as my mother appeared in my room. She helped me sit up and dry my tears. She told me not to be sad, just like she did every morning.

Underneath an old oak tree, the grasses overgrown and weeds tall as a man’s hip; the dirt stirred.

But I was sick and tired of being like this, only I couldn’t really express it and tell her myself. Somedays were better but I had a nightmare. It was strange but I can’t remember.

Sharp claws burst through the grass and gripped onto the ground with new life as the filthy creature pulled itself free of its deathly tomb.

It was time to get ready for school. At least then, I could feel a type of normalcy. Mom helped me get dressed, today was same. Jeans and a loose blue shirt with my sneakers. I always wanted to wear the poka-dot dress that hung in my closet but the last time I wore a dress; I ended up ripping it in one of my fits.

The creature looked down at itself, something about it had changed but it didn’t know what. Or how. It had only known death and darkness for months. Maybe years. Looking up, the clouds in the blue were so beautiful compared to what it had experienced.

As we walked downstairs, Father’s door to his study was closed and probably locked. He worked all the time from home, I only ever saw him at dinner. If the door was open in the morning, He and Mom would look at each other with such hatred or maybe it was longing. I could never tell the difference.

The creature moved quickly, following its nose. It knew where it was but didn’t know why.

Mom tried to get me to eat but I wasn’t hungry. After that the drive to school was a blur. A boring, nauseating blur. But as soon as Mom opened the passenger door and the sun hit my face as it rose over the school building. It happened like it always did, at home I was bad. Trying to go out to eat was worse but school, I was better. The heat in my head wore down till it was just a comfortable buzz and my limbs became less stiff and angry. I got out of the car without help and pulled my backpack on. I looked at my mom and smiled.

“See you after, okay?”

Coming up on the towering but simple building, the creature crept. It nosed the air and listened. The building didn’t have many windows but one revealed a familiar place. Looking in, it saw five humans. Three were practicing fighting, one was rocking climbing and the fifth was just standing there. Seemingly staring right at it. The creature ducked and gave a soft growl. Looking up once more, the one who had been looking was distracted and arguing with the one that was rock-climbing. The creature gave a snort and traveled along the building. Counting as it went, the tall grasses and wild flowers mismanaged. Stopping suddenly, it sniffed the ground and the dirt went soft. Using its razor like claws, it was able to clear away the fresh dirt. Dirt that should’ve hardened in months’ time but had obviously been replaced.

School was the only place, communication was not a problem. I think Mom looked forward to that. Seeing her daughter speaking and walking without help. But it was always the same. It never lasted.

Digging into the room, the creature scrambled inside. The room was empty and bare. A bed made perfect and a wooden dresser with a mirror were all that remained. Sniffing again, the creature realized that she wasn’t here. Or whoever, it was looking for. But voices were coming down the hall.

Even with my condition, I was in regular classes and very rarely did the other students treat me any different. Except being the strange kid that answered most of the questions that teacher would ask and never had any friends. I would sit alone at lunch, eating slowly and staring off into space or reading a book. I read whenever I could at school, it distracted me because I knew when I got home; reading would be impossible. Unless Mom read to me before bed. Most of the time, I would go straight to bed after dinner, being so exhausted. My last class of the day was my favorite, it helped with the anger and the burning sensation in my head. When my Mom first suggested it to the school president, she was thought to be mad. A martial arts class, Mom even got a teacher from a dojo in town to come teach it. He was a friend of my Father’s. Mr. Malakai. He was a tall but stocky man about 5’11 with black hair and almost black eyes. He was weird but a good man from what I knew about him from my Father.

“You ready for your greatest challenge, Sam?”

The two who had been arguing in the room with the fighters, were in the hallway. The creature stopped and laid down by the bed to remain unseen. It listened. There was a boy and a girl. The door was still closed but the creature had superior hearing. The girl was speaking.

“I don’t care what you think. Nobody goes in there, but me.” She sounded anxious but firm.

“Why even go in there when there’s nothing left but a bed and clothes?”

“She was our leader. She meant everything. Now she’s gone and there’s nothing left for us to do. We have failed as this generation.”

I nodded as I stood in my dojo white outfit with my black belt tied around my waist. But when Todd walked up with his black belt and he stood more than a foot taller than me, I gasped. Mr. Malakai glanced at me but saw me take a deep breath and swiped his hand down between us before the fight started. Todd ran towards me but I followed and moved along his arm as I twisted and slammed my elbow into his back. He fell to his stomach but growled and pulled his body by his hands and stood up.

“You’re going down, Sam!”

He ran at me but I stepped aside and looked at him as he stumbled on the edge of the circle. He glared at Mr. Malakai but the teacher had nothing for him. I took a stance as I readied to take him down once and for all. I had nothing against Todd but he hated me. I saw it in his eyes when I practiced with Mr. Malakai. I was better than him and I would prove it now and once for all. That I, the poor girl, smaller than him, was better. Once again, he ran at me. Stupid that I could use his strength against him. He grabbed at me but I locked my hands on his right arm, one on his wrist and the other on his elbow as I yelled and used my body against his. Using his power and mine as I buckled down and nailed my elbow into his stomach as I lifted and flipped him over me and down onto the mat beneath us. He landed with a huff as the air escaped his body and lay almost motionless except for breathing. Mr. Malakai walked up and raised my hand above my head and shouted to the other students.

“Who wishes to challenge the Champion of the Class? Who?! Anybody!? Nobody has the wish to lose the breath from their lungs?”

I pulled my hand away from my teacher and walked back to the locker rooms. I wasn’t a hero and I didn’t expect any triumph from beating Todd. I was never going to be the hero.

The creature sneezed at the dust that had collected underneath the bed. The voices stopped and the sounds of weapons being unsheathed were heard clearly as the door creaked open.

When I left the locker rooms, changed back into my regular clothes with my backpack slung over my shoulder and walked out to where my Mother was waiting for me. I slumped into the passenger side of the car in defeat and let my bag drop to the floor in front of me. I didn’t care. I had defeated the second best in my martial arts class but what did it matter? I was only better me at school. Anywhere else was useless and it was like anything I learned was lost until I returned. I might be the best at my class in fighting but at home, I was nothing.

Sitting at dinner that night, my Mother and Father were quiet. Unusually quiet. But it didn’t matter. I just stared at my food without eating. I was lost in thoughts and feelings. It was like this for a while, just the scrapping of forks and knives on plates as they ate until it turned into a high pitched whine and I slammed my hands against my ears. My Mother lifted her head and set down her utensils and went to the door and opened it. It was raining and a soggy black and gray dog was standing on our doorstep, whining. That was the sound I had heard. I stood up in my chair and almost fell. Father reached out to catch me but I moved his hands away as I went towards the door, grabbing Mother’s arm to help me. The dog stood there, dripping wet as it lifted its great blue eyes in my direction. I fell to my knees, grabbing onto the dog’s scruffy neck but it didn’t seem to mind.

“Mother, can we keep him?”

My Mother’s hands went to her mouth as my Father nearly fell getting out of his chair. The dog licked my face as I laughed and looked at them.

“Please, I’ll feed him and look after him.”

That night Mother cried as Father tucked her into bed, but he let me keep the dog which I named after myself. Sam sat, looking at me from beside my bed and once I settled he leapt up and laid down next to me, facing me with those big blue eyes. I felt as if I knew him, but he was just a dog. Wasn’t he? With that thought in my head and Sam looking out for me, I drifted asleep.