MELANCHOLIA

BITTERSWEET TUESDAYS

....PROLOGUE...

It was a bright day,

The waves were like music to my ears,

Sunset on the beach,

Ocean breeze that brings calm and peace,

it feels like liberty is here for a moment,

Nothing but smiles all around, a precious hour to console my sleeping soul.

The best day of my life was to have a peaceful life, provided houses for my siblings and a comfortable life for them.

Now I have achieved my goals. This villa of mine, was the best gift I gave to myself except for my work.

This is on the top of the mountain in front of the sea, very blissful surroundings. I lived here for almost 2 years and do the duties at the hospital here in nearby cities.

I was having the Hard time to achieved and proved what I had now. I am at my veranda right now, facing the beautiful ocean, sipping on my tea.

I was outside having a peaceful morning viewing, when I heard someone call my name,

"Lana! Lana! Where are you?” a lady shouted with excitement. I wondered who’s calling me that loud early in the morning. It was 6:38AM in the morning.

I was shocked to see a few of my friends, “OMG! How did you come here?” I said in tone,

“ We want to surprise you, Lana, we missed you so much!!”, Imogen extremes.

" Jace planned this, he suggested it”, Narie explains,

"I just felt like we’re missing you a lot. For the past months we haven't seen you, that’s why I did this.” Jace answered.

"It was all his plan, because he damned missed you!!” Oliver teased, everyone exclaimed, Jace was embarrassed the whole time because everyone teased him about me.

They are all excited and noisy as usual, I didn't even try to even join their conversation, it's cringe HAHAHA.

"Okay guys, Listen up, bring all your things to the guest house on the left side corner of my entrance”, I instructed.

We are all happy and everyone enjoys their vacation at my villa.

I excuse myself to my friends and get back to my room to exchange clothes then I suddenly remember the worst Tuesday I had...............

It’s 5:00 AM in the morning. It's another day to be thankful. I got up to prepare for our breakfast because I know my Dad can’t do it. . .

It's graduation day!

But I don’t know if I should be happy or not. It’s indeed graduation day but it feels like it’s not, we’re gonna graduate virtually, yeahh annoying to think that after 6 years in this school I’m graduating virtually.

We all wanted to experience actual graduation we’re we can wear our best attires and togas but this VIRUS happened.

It feels like an ordinary day after we watch our virtual graduation.

We don't even celebrate it here in our house. It was a happy and sad Tuesday for me to start.

So, I went out to hang out with my friends.

I went to Noah’s house really excited.

Noah’s phone rings, “hello, b***h?” he answered,

“ I’m downstairs, invite me inside your house though bitchh!”, I exclaimed.

He opened the door and let me in and I sat on the couch while waiting for him.

I have the best relationships with my friends. They were like my siblings in soul. I hope this lasts forever.

"Are you ready to go out?” I asked him.

He is always lost in thoughts, this b***h and his dry humour.

He is not ready yet, so I waited and chatted with some of our friends to get ready so that will not wait, it's just a waste of time.

After he’s done with his stuff we immediately go to our meeting place which is the Sawyer’s Cafe in front of the drug store.

Everyone agreed to just meet in the cafe so we won’t fetch each of us in each other's house.

Noah opened the door for me and then we greeted everyone, “Hey, Jace! dude we’re all graduated now.” Noah greeted Jace, his best friend since they were a kid.

Noah has two naughty-witty bestfriends, Jace was the silent type but naughty inside and the other one is Linnae you can call her Narrie, she’s the cutest and prettiest.

We are 8 in our circle of friends. We were so loud as always, our conversation was so chaotic. We do hang outs - back in junior high schools so I am not new to their freaking loud voices.

I was quiet the whole time just listening and laughing to their exchange words. Their attention was flipped up because the freaking Gael was so damned annoying. Just because I don't talk means Something.

Then the conversation deepens, and leads to talk about life status after we got into college.

They notice me,

“ Lana, what’s up? You’ve been quiet there, are you not happy?” Imogen asked,

"I’m happy guys, I’m listening to all of you, why’d you ask?” I answered,

"You're zoning out, aren't you?” Gaia exclaims,

"Guys, just let her be, maybe she just doesn't want to talk.” Jace interrupts.

"Guys hahaha I’m literally okay, I just don’t have anything to talk about, let’s enjoy the day don’t make me a big deal, I’m sorry” I explained.

They all agreed to my explanation and continued the conversations. I already gained my energy to talk and go with the flow.

Brynn talks about our future 5 years from now.

"What courses would you all take, since we are in college a few months from now?” I asked.

"What course would you pick ,Lana?” Jace asked me,

"I was planning to take up BS Psychology, How about you?” I answered, suddenly the surface went silent when me and Jace talked, which feels awkward for me.

"I’m planning to take up Architecture,” Jace continued, “that suits you.

"How about you ,guys?” I asked. Then they suddenly teased us like a couple planning our future.

Because Jace was not bothered being partnered to me, like a link as a couple. They dissed me, I really hated them for doing that to me, I was guilty that's why.

"I will probably take Bs RadTech,” Noah answered,

then Ellie BS Dentistry, Nicholas and

Calix as BS Architecture, Gael as BS Civil Engineering, Gaia as BS Psychology, Brynn take up BS Accountancy, Avianna as Bs Business Management and then there’s Nari,

"I’m gonna take up BS Nursing because my Aunt was a nurse. I wanna be like her.” she explains. Nari was so adorable but sometimes she annoys us.

Everyone had already got their ordered food, I forgot to take mine which is at the counter. So I was to get it when someone grabbed it.

"Let me serve it to you, babe!” a flirty voice said, when I looked at him I was shocked it was Vaughn,

"Oh, what’s up? What are you doing here?” answered him while we’re walking back to my table.

Everyone’s eyes were on us, I do not mind since we are best friends.

"Guys, Vaugn is here!!” I exclaimed, “hi, guys! Have fun!” he shouted, and everyone greeted him back.

"I have to go, babe, take care!” He bid goodbye to everyone. I did not ask where he’s headed because he looks like he's in a hurry.

"Are you and Vaughn in a relationship?” Gael asked me out of the blue, “No, we’re just friends,” I explained.

My friends and I, we treated each other like siblings for life. We spent our time together really long because we felt like it’s gonna be hard to go outside once the quarantine beginned to be strict.

“ So guys, let’s have some overnight parties sometimes, I feel like it’s fun!” Gaia said, everyone nodded,

"I would like it if we do that on the beach, right?” Nicholas continues,

"I wanna be wasted!” Nari answered, full of excitement.

Everyone dissed her hahaha, because probably her parents won't allow her.

"We’re getting old guys.” Avianna suddenly gives a blank mood. Everyone laughs bitterly,

“ Yeah, but I feel like we are just kids learning to strive to live,” Brynn said.

"You’re all dramatic, guys hahahaha” Gael Said.

"Well, I guess guys I hope we still keep in-touch when we grow older bitches," Noah exclaims, everyone laughs.

We are all teens wondering about our future ahead of us.

"Guys, sorry to cut you all, i’m already going home, mom might scold me," Nari said in a hurry,

"You can go babe, Take care!” Ellie said.

As you expected, it’s natural to every friendship to go home early when one of you got summoned to go home already, So after some minutes we all decided to go home, too.

We parted ways with a smile on our faces because we laughed so hard as we went home. Everyone has jokes to tell.

Ellie asked me before we parted ways, “Are you sure you’re okay?”,

“ Yes, I’m okay Ellie, don’t worry too much about me” I answered,

“ Okay, that’s good, Bye take care!” she assured before she leaves.

Jace probably heard Ellie asking me.

"Jace, Keep safe!” I screamed, he smiled at me. That was a good bid of parting for me and Jace.

I got home safe. I’m happy that I met them before the vacation began. It’s already evening when I woke up, I didn't know I fell asleep while crying. Yes, I cried suddenly when I got home, maybe because I was just drained. I saw my Dad in our backyard, he’s drinking again. He’s always like that in the morning.

It was 6 in the evening, there were so many stars, the sky was so beautiful.

I asked Evans to prepare food for our dinner. My siblings called me out for dinner already, while having dinner I noticed that my father was fussing.

He's kinda pissed off he keeps on cursing. “Dad, we are eating, stop saying bullshits” I interrupted.

I whispered to my siblings to eat faster so they won’t be hurt by our dad. My Dad sometimes hurts my siblings without any thoughts when he’s drunk.

"Lana, Dad has been drinking the whole day, again.” Austine said,

"I saw it, finish your food and go to your room with Olivia.” I instructed.

So they hurriedly finished their food. It was me and Dad on the table, again because he drinks every day. We ate quietly not until he started sobbing.

I assisted my dad while he was drunk, “They are all idiots! That son of a *****!” Dad shouted,

"Dad stopped it! You are not the only person here in the house, stop acting like an i***t, stand up, we should go to your room, you're just tired, you need to rest.” I said.

"They make me look like a fool, Lana, I was fooled all along” Dad said in a trembling voice.

"Dad, I won’t ask anything now, when you're sober let’s talk? Please? I wanna help you Dad” I answered.

"Okay Lana, I’m sorry, Daddy was sorry. Happy Graduation Lana” He exclaims. I just nodded to him.

He kept on whining, he cried all night all the time, I heard it all. I don’t know the reason why he drank a lot but it affects me a lot. I just know it started when my mom left us.

I do not know but at least he greeted me before my day ended.

I checked if my siblings were sleeping already.

I caught Cohen sobbing on the corner of his bed, “Cohen, why are you crying?”, I asked him.

"I saw Dad every morning crying. It hurts me, Lana," Cohen said.

I just embrace him and don't answer because he's too young to understand what’s happening to our family.

My siblings do care a lot about our parents. I wish to go back in time where we are complete so that everything will be fine and find its place in peace. Cohen slept in my arms, I got up and went back to my room.

I always spent time talking to my mom who now has a new family. She's the greatest mom I ever had, I know she cheated. She's based in California now with Freddie, his boyfriend.

I left my phone at my bed because I needed to shower. It was 15 minutes ago when mom called.

I called her instead.

“Hello, Mom? How are you? We missed you so much!” I said,

“I'm going home in September, Lana, Freddie died, I'm alone here with his belongings and money,” she explains.

“Just call me Mom if you need my help, Good night, we love you,” I hung up.

I did not wait for her response because it annoys me.

I always had so many thoughts that wanted to be answered. Especially why the hell we are suffering in this place, where we can actually buy a new home.

It wasn't home. Anymore.

I left a big sigh. Our life has been tough since we live here in the province. It was a tough day, after all.

So I decided to write on my diary,

Dearest one,

Today Tuesday, 11:22 AM. I wanna record my bittersweet day for it counts as a memory to be cherished. I had fun with my friends early this morning, It's fun to celebrated it. But the sadness was killing me, I suddenly felt the urge to not talked and isolate myself again when I got out of my comfort zone.

I was like living so f****d up. I cannot carry this out. Whoever read this please take care of my siblings, I had them planned things for their future which we inherited from our grandparents. I cannot take this anymore, everyday my hallucinations of people leaving me kills me.

To Jace,

I love you so much. I swear I really wanna confessed it earlier but I don't have the courage I don't like the feeling of being rejected, it's just that I'm really scared you might not like the idea of me and you.

I have liked you from the start. You've been my greatest crying shoulder, though you don't know. I have loved you in many ways. I'm so happy I saw you today!

Thank you so much!

To Vaughn,

I thank you for always being there in hard times and you cannot just hide it that We know to ourselves that we do like each other but you left me hanging..... you never told me that we have the same problem that's why we vibe.

I miss you babe.. you're the only person who knows me, but you left unknown about you. That was the most devastating day, Vaughn, thank you and I love you.

Good night my love ones, to Vaughn my freaking best friend. Please explain to me what happened that day you left. And Jace, please look at me.

To my parents,

Mom and Dad. I hope you are happy right now I wished you were happy. I wished you are here to us.

Love,

Silvestre, Lana Amora Louise

That was a cringe memory to be remembered.

That was a dramatic reminiscence I had on a broad day. I need to go back to my friends. Someone open the door, and knocking. Its Gaia.

“Lana, Why did it take you half an hour to get dressed up? Gaia whines, “I’m sorry.” I responded.

Jace kept on staring at me the whole time, everyone was busy fixing their things in the guest house. So it's just me and Jace on my balcony. I walk towards Jace, “How’s life, Jace?” I asked. He was kinda shocked when I talked to him.

“I missed you, Lana.” He responded.

That was not the answer I was expecting.

“I missed you, too,” I replied. “Excuse me first, Sorry, I wanted to take a nap first because it was a long ride. Can I do that, babe?” He asks. I just nodded.

‘Did Jace just call me Babe?’

I keep on smiling ohmagosh! It’s embarrassing he saw me smiling. He might have thought I missed him a lot.

He Slept in my room.

I left my room to let him rest. I decided to help everyone outside.

Jace just woke up from a nap, and talked to Noah. He said this:

'I dreamed about Lana again and this time we are getting engaged'. Jace Said.

"Lana Amora Louise Silvestre, I love you!" I scream with excitement and wide smile in my face.

"Jace Xavier Sullivan I really really Love you so much!!" She shouted.

"Lana, I wanna spent the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?" I asked,

"Yes, Jace!" She answered.

We're getting married!! She's my fiancé now! I shouted with all my heart and love for her. She was the greatest I had received my entire life.

Probably she doesn't know but the moment she talks to me first with her wide sweet gummy smile and with her rosy chubby cheeks I have already fallen into her.

She caught my attention for she was so bright and talkative it's annoying to admit it but that's her greatest charm.

She's so very adorable when she talks. I love everything about her.

'Maybe what I heard was wrong, I'm just hallucinating again.' I exhaled.

“What?? Bro, Lana Again? You should ask Lana now that we're here to marry you. Because that dream of yours was your fine goal when you're with Lana.” Noah Answered.

“Let me finish my dream Noah!” He exclaims. “Okay, Jace, Sorry.” Noah sighed.

Then I wake up , I was pissed because I did not finished my dream. Someone keep on pressing my door bell.

It was Dahlia. She greeted me, "Hi babe! How's your day?", she asked with a weird face. "I'm always fine, get out I don't need your presence in this house." Jace explained .

“Dahlia was there Noah, Dahlia was my living nightmare,” Jace continues. Noah was in awe and shocked by Jace's story.

"She smile weirdly and quietly go out. Dahlia has OCD, but her habits was build different, She's a psycho.. She took everything away from me. She was the nightmare I didn't know would come. I remember that day she ruined my life and Lana's life." Jace continued talking.

“It’s all my fault,” he whispered harshly, rocking back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest.

Tears streamed down his face as he screamed, giving voice to all of the anger, pain, and guilt raging inside. “How could Dahlia do this?!” he shouted. He wanted to get up and punch something; feeling at the same time as though he couldn’t possibly move. He pounded his fists against the floor, hating the feeling of helplessness that swept through him with every thought of her.

“Calm yourself, Davis! That's just a dream, Jace. It won't happen again. We're fine now Dahlia was in prison now. Rest your mind, man. It was not your fault. Forgive yourself because for sure Lana had moved on from that.” Noah Assured.

‘Poor Jace, he must've think its his fault’

I hurriedly walked downstairs before they caught me eavesdropping.