[Free] The Years We Missed

Chapter 11

By the time Zi Yu woke up, it was already broad daylight. Sunlight streamed through the curtains and fell across the bed. The space beside him had long since gone cold.

The soreness and lingering aches in his body reminded him that what had happened the night before was not just a dream.

“Xu Ning.”

“Xu Ning!”

“Tian Xu Ning!”

He called out softly several times, his voice still hoarse, but the room remained silent, with no response at all.

Zi Yu hurriedly sat up, threw on a bathrobe, and stepped out of the bedroom barefoot. The apartment was so quiet he could even hear the ticking of the wall clock. He searched everywhere, from the living room and bathroom to the balcony and kitchen, but there was no sign of Tian Xu Ning anywhere.

A sudden sense of loss and emptiness welled up inside him. The space in his chest that had only just been filled felt as if a corner had been carved out again, hollow, aching, and painfully raw.

Over the past four years, even long before he ever met Tian Xu Ning, Zi Yu had already grown used to loneliness, used to waking up with no one by his side, used to empty mornings and a silent room where only the wind slipped through the cracks.

But just last night, that person had still been right here, holding him, kissing him, tangling with him, unwilling to let go. Now, waking up this morning, Zi Yu was left alone to face four cold, unfeeling walls. The contrast was too stark, too abrupt, and for a moment, he simply couldn’t bring himself to accept it.

Exhausted, Zi Yu let himself sink onto the living room sofa, allowing the sunlight to fall across his weary face. He had no motivation to do anything, only wanted to lie there and stay still forever.

After a long while, he finally forced himself to sit up, opened the refrigerator, took out a bag of frozen dumplings, and cooked them hastily as a makeshift breakfast.

While eating, Zi Yu absentmindedly scrolled through his phone out of habit. The moment he opened Weibo, he saw the very person who had held him through the night now sitting squarely at No.1 on the hot search list, accompanied by a glaring headline:

“Tian Xu Ning Spent the Night at Zhao Si Qi’s Place.”

Zi Yu froze for a moment, his finger stopping mid-air.

He knew perfectly well that it was all fake, just a media smokescreen, but his chest still tightened with an overwhelming sense of discomfort.

Despite resisting it inwardly, Zi Yu’s finger still tapped the headline almost against his will.

The hot-search content was a short video filmed by a blogger, time-stamped at 1:30 a.m. earlier that morning. In the footage, Tian Xu Ning could be seen appearing at the entrance of the residential complex where Zhao Si Qi lived.

He was wearing a cap and the exact same outfit, the clothes he had worn the night before when he came to see Zi Yu.

So after Zi Yu had fallen asleep, he hadn’t stayed long at all. Instead, he had gone straight to Zhao Si Qi’s place.

The thought stirred a low, simmering jealousy in Zi Yu’s chest.

Couple marketing carried out until the middle of the night, done with this level of professionalism…

Tian Xu Ning really was someone who took his job seriously.

He had already had no appetite since morning; now, looking at the bowl of dumplings in front of him only made his stomach turn. In the end, he could only set his chopsticks down, stand up in silence, and put the leftovers back into the refrigerator.

Zi Yu had originally planned to go out today to take care of some personal matters.

But with his mood in shambles and his body still aching, he decided to be lazy and stay home instead.

He really wanted to see Tian Xu Ning, to ask why he had slipped away silently last night, to ask about the hot search from this morning, even to give him a proper scolding and vent his anger.

Sleeping with someone and then disappearing without a word was textbook scumbag behavior, he deserved to be punished, severely.

Unfortunately, Zi Yu couldn’t reach him at all.

Aside from last night’s unexpected entanglement, the relationship between Tian Xu Ning and him was no different from that of an idol and a fan.

One was a cloud drifting high in the sky, the other a blade of grass by the roadside.

If the grass wished to look at the cloud, all it could do was lift its head and gaze upward.

Zi Yu blamed himself for letting desire cloud his judgment last night, thinking only about pleasure and nothing else.

And now, all he could do was stay home and wait for Tian Xu Ning to return, without even knowing how long that wait would last.

The entire day passed with Zi Yu unable to focus on anything at all.

Tian Xu Ning occupied every corner of his mind.

He missed his voice, his gaze, the way his arms had held him tightly, and the burning breath against the back of his neck the night before.

He told himself that if Tian Xu Ning came back, he would definitely give him a proper scolding, he would sulk, throw a tantrum, make a scene big enough to turn the world upside down, until Tian Xu Ning had no choice but to coax him, to beg him, to make it right.

But as time dragged on, the unease in his chest only grew heavier.

Zi Yu began to feel afraid, afraid that Tian Xu Ning would simply turn his back and leave, never to return.

Afraid that fame, ambition, and the glittering lights of the entertainment industry had tainted him, turning him into just another ordinary man: indulgent, reckless, chasing nothing but desire and momentary thrills.

The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

The corners of his eyes reddened despite himself, yet he stubbornly refused to let the tears fall.