[Free] The Years We Missed

Chapter 3

“Did you get the invitation to the Designers & Stars Private Gala?” As soon as he saw Chen Ran, his manager, step in, Tian Xu Ning spoke immediately.

Chen Ran pulled a thick, ivory-colored invitation from his bag and set it on the coffee table.

“Of course I did. The moment they heard you wanted to attend, they probably wished they could roll out a red carpet for you right away.”

Tian Xu Ning didn’t reply. He simply picked up the invitation, flipping it over to check the time and location.

Watching him, Chen Ran couldn’t help speaking again,

“I’m just saying… with your status, events like this feel a bit beneath you. Are you sure you really want to go? Is it necessary?”

The Designers & Stars Private Gala was the annual networking event organized by the China Domestic Fashion Association, an invitation-only affair for industry insiders. The attendees were mainly mid-tier domestic brands and the artists who collaborated with them for promotions.

For years, Tian Xu Ning’s name had been tied to top-tier luxury brands. His presence at such an event was like a lion among sheep.

Tian Xu Ning replied calmly, his tone indifferent,

“There won’t be any media. My attending won’t make a difference. Lately, domestic fashion has been developing rapidly, the quality and designs are no worse than the major brands.”

Chen Ran raised an eyebrow, a spark lighting in his eyes,

“You’re thinking of investing again? Domestic fashion startups are actually a pretty promising direction.”

Tian Xu Ning was well known for his fondness for investing. His portfolio spanned film and television, real estate, and chains of restaurants and hotels. And every move he made was uncannily precise: profitable every time, never a loss.

Because of this, in addition to his title as an award-winning actor, the solid financial power backing him was another reason his position in the entertainment industry remained as unshakable as bedrock.

Tian Xu Ning did not reply. He simply leaned back against the sofa, silent and lost in thought.

From the night he ran into Zi Yu again, the image of him had refused to leave Tian Xu Ning’s mind.

Zi Yu from those naïve early days.

Zi Yu as he was now, mature and composed.

Zi Yu with his foolish smile.

Zi Yu, cold and sharp, spitting cruel words.

Every version, every expression, was like an obsessive spell, relentlessly tormenting his thoughts.

He had once loved Zi Yu, so deeply that, without even realizing it, he had entrusted his entire future to him.

He had also hated him, hated him to the point of wanting to drag him out into the open and lash out, just to vent the anger he had bottled up for years.

Yet over the past four years, those intense emotions had gradually been worn down by time. He thought he had let go. Thought he had forgotten that name.

Until Zi Yu appeared once more, calmly tearing through the carefully constructed facade of composure Tian Xu Ning had struggled so hard to maintain.

Tian Xu Ning found himself utterly ridiculous.

Someone so heartless should have been erased from his life entirely, treated as though he had never existed at all. Yet the harder he tried to forget, the more vividly Zi Yu’s image resurfaced.

Perhaps what lingered in his heart now was no longer love… but resentment he could not let go of.

That was the first time, also the only time, he had ever been toyed with emotionally by someone else. And that humiliation was something he doubted he would ever truly forget, for the rest of his life.

After that night’s gala, Tian Xu Ning ultimately still couldn’t hold himself back and quietly had people look into Zi Yu.

He learned that Zi Yu had only moved to Beijing two months ago, that he was now the founder of a fledgling fashion brand. He also learned that Zi Yu was still single, and that, reportedly, he had been so for many years.

Tian Xu Ning couldn’t quite recall what he had felt at the time. Was it restlessness? Curiosity? Or a faint flicker of joy mixed with bitterness? He truly didn’t want to keep thinking about that person anymore, yet his mind stubbornly refused to obey his reason.

The more he tried to brush it aside, the clearer that figure became, like a wound he thought had already healed, only to ache straight through the heart at the slightest touch.

***

Before long, the day of the Designers & Stars Private Gala arrived.

Originally, the invitation had been issued to Zhuo Yang, but an urgent matter came up at the company that required his attention. As a result, Zi Yu had no choice but to attend in his stead.

Traffic on the way to the hotel was heavy, the car crawling forward at a snail’s pace. While waiting for the line of vehicles ahead to inch along, Jiang Rui, who was driving, casually struck up a conversation to pass the time.

“Mr. Zi, I heard your idol got caught up in another scandal again. Is that true?”

Zi Yu looked up at Jiang Rui, frowned, and said, “Don’t talk nonsense.”

Jiang Rui immediately explained, “Tian Xu Ning was seen going to a hotel with Zhao Si Qi. Paparazzi caught it on camera. It stayed at No.1 on Weibo’s(*) hot search all night, didn’t you see it? Besides, rumors about those two dating have been floating around for months now.”

Zi Yu lowered his gaze, concealing the tangled emotions in his eyes. After a brief pause, he looked up again and replied somewhat stiffly,

“He’s already over thirty. He’s not an idol who built his career on fan money. Dating is perfectly normal, how can that be called a scandal?”

Jiang Rui nodded in agreement. “That’s true. It’s just that every time a celebrity dates, people online always call it a scandal or something. I’m not really familiar with the way you fans talk.”

In China’s entertainment industry, most high-traffic idols are closely tied to a “single” public image. This is often an unspoken but mandatory condition written into their contracts with management companies, as the image of being unattached is believed to attract a larger fanbase. As a result, even when they are dating or married, many choose to keep it hidden from the public.

In addition, China has a distinct category of idols who emerge from so-called “survival” reality shows, programs that form boy groups through audience voting. In these shows, fans spend money to vote for their favorites: the more money fans invest, the higher the idol’s ranking and the better their chances of debuting and securing resources. For idols of this type, openly dating during the early years of their careers is almost entirely forbidden. Once dating news is exposed, it can easily escalate into a major scandal, severely damaging their careers and driving large numbers of fans away.

It may sound unreasonable and restrictive, but this is precisely how the Chinese entertainment industry operates.

For celebrities, if they want to make a relationship public without being scrutinized or criticized, they usually have only two options: wait until they are older, or achieve enough professional success to prove their own merit and break free from the label of being “famous solely because of fan support.”

Everyone who knew Zi Yu was aware that he was a die-hard fan of Tian Xu Ning. He always carried a photo of him in his wallet, and his office was filled with magazines featuring Tian Xu Ning on the cover. Any product endorsed by Tian Xu Ning, Zi Yu would buy without hesitation, sometimes even handing them out to employees at the company.

Because of this, no one found it strange that Zi Yu had remained single all these years, despite having both the looks and the financial means.

In most people’s eyes, romance had never been a necessity for a fanboy or fangirl. As long as their idol was still there, still shining brightly, their hearts already had somewhere to belong.

Eventually, the road ahead began to clear. Jiang Rui dropped the topic and focused on driving.

Zi Yu leaned his head against the car window, gazing at the crowds outside, bustling, hurried, full of life, so completely at odds with the quiet emptiness slowly spreading through his chest.

________

(*) Weibo: China’s largest social media platform, similar to Twitter/X.