The Alpha Enforcer and His Dancing Warrior

Dark Feelings Pt. 3

            She moaned, “God….how do you cook this well? For thanksgiving….no before thanksgiving….i want to watch you make a cherry pie. Can you make a cherry pie?” I laughed, “Oh, I can make lots of types of pie. That’s a Diner must have, and I worked at Mason and Hendrick’s in my spare time. Or when I was bored. I don’t like being bored.” Haley smiled, “I did hear that about you.” I blushed, “I really do love Xander. I always have.” Haley tilted her head, “You call him Xander? Oh that’s so sweet. I recently found out you have always loved my son. If someone had f*****g told me….we’d be in a different f*****g place. Here we are though. I’m always here if you want to talk, Melanie. I’m not just your mother in law….I’m a licensed therapist, and things can stay between us. I do think you should consider speaking to a therapist. Even if it’s not me. We have several in this pack now. I speak from personal and professional experience when I tell you…..it does help.” I took the pancakes off the skillet. I whispered, “You’re probably right.” 

            Eventually I added, “I’m really angry and hurt. All I’ve wanted is Xander and my family back…..and now….” Haley said, “And now. They are back but it doesn’t erase the hurt you’ve felt. Or the hurt you feel that you were left alone while they had each other.” I sighed, “It sounds petty and selfish when you say it that way.” Haley snorted, “Not at f*****g all. I was jealous of the sibling bond between Aiden and Arion. I wanted that with them, but they kept me at a distance. You had that cohesive family unit, and it was f*****g taken from you. I think it’s perfectly fair to be bitter and upset about the fact that they had each other. You weren’t alone for long though. You and those girls…..your own badass girl gang…..you have each other.” I nodded, “They are really great.” Haley smiled, “They are. You all are quite something. I wasn’t sure what to expect out of that group after how their first f*****g meeting went down with their mates. Seems my daughter in law jumped right in and solved the damn problem. Without you telling them to find their happiness…..they could’ve fought their bond, and made all six people involved f*****g miserable.” I shrugged, “It would be way more than six people. The Kyle’s and my entire family….the pack….that’s their Luna’s and Beta Female. Or...I guess their Male Lead Warriors mate. Ads could very well be their lead female warrior. She always wanted to find her mate and see if she was good enough. I told her she is.” 

                Haley frowned, “Why would she doubt that? She is an Alpha’s daughter. Of course she’d f*****g win.” I turned away and moved the sausages around the skillet. I told her, “That doesn’t mean anything in the forgotten packs. Women are good at two things to them. Cooking and bearing pups.” Haley hissed, “f*****g goddamn assholes! OH! I will tell Addison I BETTER hear about a challenge for that position in the coming weeks.” I snorted, “Their mating ceremony is next weekend so….probably going to have to wait.” Haley asked, “And how do you feel about that?” I shrugged, “She’s happy. I’ve always wanted her to be happy. I always wanted Jason to be happy. It’s weird to think he’s not with Everly and Kai, but I have always wanted him to be happy.” Haley studied me, “But thought nothing of your own damn happiness.” I shrugged, “At the time, I felt I had far more than I deserved.” Haley frowned, “I see. You’d have planned to eventually come see my son. From what I now f*****g know…..you’ve always said he was your mate.” I nodded, “I did plan to come see him. I just needed to make sure everyone was going to be ok without me. Caine and Dax hadn’t taken over yet. There were a lot of moving pieces that weren’t stationary. I’d imagine I’d have shown up here in the next few years so he could…” My voice broke, “Reject me. He could move on then. I never wanted to hold him back….I just needed everyone to be ok without me there. I didn’t know if since….he’s an Alpha and I didn’t have a wolf…..I thought it could kill me when he rejected me.”

            Haley was silent, “And still….that wasn’t even for yourself. You were going to give my son the ability to kill you in your own mind. You only didn’t show up here when you were eighteen because you were worried for others.” I laughed, “I almost did get here once. I was slightly drunk, and I just wanted to see him. Didn’t end up happening.” Haley sighed, “Of f*****g course not. I wish it had.” Me too. I was pretty close to the holoport when Trevor and his friends jumped me. Turns out my drinks had more than alcohol in it. Too bad for them I’m still f*****g better than they are. Haley laughed, “Why the f**k are you nervously cooking by the way?” I turned, “Oh...the party today….I want people here to like me and people don’t….tend to like me.” Haley raised her eyebrow, “I saw a pack full of people in Black Path who would disagree with that statement. Many of them look at you like their personal savior.” I snorted, “The other half see me as the devil.” Haley frowned, “I would say that number is much lower than you think it is. The pack here will love you as my son does, or I will f*****g get them.” I laughed, “You mean that, don’t you?” Haley smiled, “You know I do.” I nodded, “You’re a fairy.” Haley nodded, “So I am.” 

            I opened a drawer, “There aren’t enough platters.” She snapped and all the food was on platters. I turned, “How did you know what I was going to do?” Haley smiled, “Well, there’s enough food for everyone here. I can snap them to their proper places if you’d like.” I shook my head, “If you tell me where everyone’s rooms are...I can do it. Then I’ll just drop the leftovers off at the pack house.” Haley laughed, “Yeah….you’re already really f*****g popular from those muffins….that I did not get to f*****g taste.” I laughed, “I’ll make some more another time and save you some.” Haley smiled, “See that you do. EJ raved about them and he can’t f*****g lie. Your dad was quite upset he didn’t get one either. Your family didn’t realize you’d made them. They thought you were just delivering them.” I laughed, “Since once upon a time, I couldn’t have told you the difference between a pot, skillet, and a pan…..let alone know what a muffin tin was...I’ll give them that one.” Haley smiled, “You’re going to be just f*****g fine Melanie. Take things at your f*****g pace. Not the pace you think you should….or others think you should. YOUR f*****g pace. Do things for yourself. You are really f*****g safe here. This is a safe place, and you don’t have to keep your guard up every ten f*****g seconds for treachery. Or people wanting to hurt you. I know what that life is, and I strongly suspect…..you do too.” She grabbed her platter and popped away. 

            I quickly dropped food off at the pack house. The smell had drawn several people down. One warrior whooped, “The   Muffin Luna cooks more than muffins! HOT DAMN!” That drew more people out. I laughed and ran back to the house. I quickly dropped off the platters to everyone. I left the Kyle’s and parents for last other than Xander and I’s food. I paused outside both their doors. They wouldn’t be up for a while. Haley must have charmed the platters to keep the food warm. I put my hand on my parents door and let a few tears fall down. They were really here. Freya linked, “They stayed here for you.” I linked, “I know. It still hurts.” Freya whispered, “I’m so sorry Melanie.” I pushed my feelings aside and went back to Xander’s room. I was disappointed I hadn’t made it back before he woke up. That was probably pausing outside the Kyle’s and my parents room. I told him I was nervous and he said he’d make their lives hell if they didn’t like me. That was weird. People’s lives were hell if they liked me in Black Path. I teased him that the pack might not like me when he and I ran training together. He said they loved him and he made training hard. Yes well….he was him. Who wouldn’t? Dear GOD, I'm talking about his abs. Stop talking. Why do I have no filter? Thankfully we ate our food. It was about to get good afterwards when several people knocked on the door. Seriously? I can’t mark my mate and now….this. What does a girl have to do to enjoy time with her mate? 

            Freya linked, “Put a sock on the door.” I nearly laughed out loud. I might try it. Couldn’t hurt. Xander told them to go away, but literally all of his siblings and the ones with mates filed inside. Wow….does this happen often? Good thing this room is like six rooms together or it would be crowded. I blushed when they asked who cooked breakfast. Angela winked at me. Elise mentioned she didn’t get any muffins yesterday either. What the heck? Who ate them then? I nearly laughed when Xander told me Phil ate most of them. Jeez. I’d just make more next time. Xander told them I made the food. Several jaws dropped. Elsie was stunned. I tried to get them off of staring at me by asking Elise to help me figure out what to wear to the party. I started talking about my usual attire. Xander said I could wear what I wanted. I wanted to make a good impression. Elise was really good at that. Maverick brought everything back to cooking. Zoe, who ran the kitchen, wanted to learn from me? I mean...what? She ran the kitchen here. She was a superior cook to me. Easily. No one wanted to learn things from me that weren’t fighting…..or dancing but the dancing hadn’t happened in a REALLY long time. Caine asked a girl to a school dance and I taught him.

            Zoe spilled I’d even made the pack food. Xander just didn’t understand how nervous I was. Preston yelled out they needed a party every week. Oh my god. Please, no. Elise even wanted to learn how to cook. Buttercup did too. Maybe I could fit in with more than Elise here. Well, I already knew Micah and I got along. Mason and Hendrick would give cooking lessons around here too. They loved doing that. EJ took Xander and all the guys left. Elise jumped on the bed, “Finally! Alone at last.” I looked over to see Buttercup was shutting the door. I frowned, “She could’ve stayed.” Elise laughed, “She actually works with the kids right now, or she would’ve. She always takes two hours to play with the pups in the daycare.” I smiled, “That’s nice. Do you know about some shops around here? I want to get appointments for Addison to try on dresses for her mating ceremony.” Elise choked, “I mean of course….when?” I told her, “We are going Tuesday. They are having their ceremony next weekend.” Elise nodded, “I’ll make the appointments for you guys. On a completely different note…..why didn’t I hear about a certain boy strung up by his toes bleeding from all orifices dead as a doornail?” I snorted, “Trevor? You’d have to ask Cayden what he did to him.” Elise snorted, “I want to know what YOU did to him.” I smiled, “I’ve kicked his ass more times than I can count.” Elise asked, “Why didn’t you kill him?” I told her, “Because they would’ve killed Sierra, Avery, Paige, and Addison. Probably Mason and Hendrick too.” Elise frowned, “Cayden said Trevor tried to mark you.” I frowned, “I honestly don’t remember that….It’s…..just flashes. I know there was a fight and a car accident but I don't….” I tried to grasp those memories but it felt like they were flung from me. I grabbed my head. 

                Elise frowned, “Mel?” I sighed, “I try to remember….I do...I just can’t.” Elise asked, “Why are you mad at everyone but me?” I told her, “You didn’t live there, Elise. You’d just taken over being the Luna of this pack. It’s the largest pack in the country and the most powerful. It’s logical that you were busy. You reached out to me as Ashley…..the second you heard my name….you’d reached out. They never did. Not one of them. I picked the name because I just KNEW Jason would know it was me.” Elise frowned, “Maybe….but you shouldn’t have been wolf less.” I frowned, “I thought they knew that though.” Elise sighed, “They didn’t. They got pictures of your wolf….” I snorted, “No one has pictures of my wolf.” Elise winced, “They will. You’ll shift Mel.” I nodded, “My wolf says the same.” Elise smiled, “See? And we can all be there.” I shrugged, “Maybe.” Someone knocked on the door then charged in. I laughed, “Si, meet Elise. Elise, this is Sierra.” Sierra smiled, “Luna Elise.” Elise laughed, “Just Elise to you. Let’s get Melanie an outfit.” We walked into the closet. I started crying. Xander had snapped a lot of very nice things for me. Elise rubbed my back, “I’d get used to it if I were you. The Conners boys are like this.” 

            She squealed, “OH MY GOD IT’S PERFECT!” I looked over and paled. It was the dress I’d wanted to wear to meet Xander in for her ceremony. It was black with red cherries on it. It had a low back and a sweetheart neckline. Tears filled my eyes. I ran into the bathroom, locked the door and sobbed. I sobbed for the girl I used to be. I sobbed because I could never wear that dress. They’d all see my back. I heard a pop. I was startled because it wasn’t Xander’s scent I smelled. I looked up to see Haley, Micah and Max were in the bathroom with me now. I wiped my tears, but I couldn’t stop. Haley spoke, “I got this. You guys leave.” Max said, “Mom maybe….” Haley snorted, “I have f*****g got this, Max. I’ll link Alexander if we need him.” They popped away and Haley sat down. She explained, “Elise was worried and didn’t know if you’d need Micah because he knows you…..but I think this is a past and future problem.” I hiccupped, “You’re smart.” Haley smiled sadly, “I’ve been where you are. Elise said that dress was one you wanted to wear to her ceremony that night. She’s really f*****g sorry she picked it.” I shook myself, “I don’t want that. She shouldn’t feel bad...I just…..the girl that wanted to wear that dress is gone.” Haley shook her head, “No, she’s not gone. She took some hard f*****g hits in life. She probably earned a few scars along the way. She even put up some walls around herself to protect her heart, but that girl…..Is still you. We learn things in life and we f*****g change. That’s life, but we will always be who we are. Others might have tried to beaten that girl down and break her, but she just became a f*****g badass instead.” 

            I wiped my tears, “You have a way with words.” Haley smiled softly, “I have experience. I was literally broken when my brother Marcus found me. Just because we can’t see the scars Melanie, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Being home doesn’t make the past go away. I really wish it f*****g did. I still deal with the pain of my past. I have healed, I have moved the f**k forward; however, my past is still there. I just don’t fight it anymore. Sometimes, I have myself a good cry, talk to Eric, have myself a drink, and on occasion f**k his brains out after.” I choked on my own spit. She laughed. I told her, “I don’t want my past to touch Xander.” Haley tilted her head, “I understand that notion. Here’s my advice, you tell what you’re ready to tell when you’re f*****g ready. Your past doesn’t always stay there. Especially when there are people in that past that can f*****g show up like the mother f*****g assholes they are. We can’t always protect people from our past, and some f*****g times…..they need to protect us from our past. Not because we aren’t bad asses that can handle s**t ourselves, but because….there will always be times your friends, your mate, your family are your strength. It’s ok if you don’t kill all the damn bastards yourself. It’s also ok if you do. It’s about what you need, but you do not have to face that alone. We are all f*****g here for you. In this family when one goes into battle….we are there. It’s an adjustment to not feeling alone again, but you’re not.” I nodded, “I’ll try.” Haley squeezed my shoulder, “That is all anyone can ask.” I put my hand on hers and washed my face. 

            She snapped my hair and makeup done. She smiled, “Elise picked a different dress. I hear you like red lipstick. I am a f*****g fan of that. You look fierce.” I smiled, “Thanks.” She looked into my eyes and said, “You don’t just look it. You are f*****g fierce. Don’t ever forget that.” I nodded, “I’ll try. Can I ask you an unrelated question?” Haley nodded, “Of course.” I asked, “Since you can take people’s wolves.....can you give them to someone else? I know a bunch of wolf less people worthy of wolves. I also know a bunch of wolves stuck with crappy humans. I just wondered if you could give them wolves.” Haley's jaw dropped. She eventually said, “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to Aiden. That’s a really f*****g good idea….I’d have to make sure the wolf wasn’t shitty too….but that definately has interesting possibilities.” 

                 I walked over and unlocked the door. Elise frowned, “I’m sorry Mel.” I shook my head, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I love that dress….I just…” Elise hugged me, “I understand.” She showed me a black dress. Sierra linked, “I might have vetoed things that show off your back. I don’t think she caught on.” It had a scarf to go with it and a brown belt to go across my hips. I smiled, “I love it.” I ran back into the bathroom and changed. I took off Xander’s hoodie and looked at my back. I closed my eyes. Freya linked, “It’s not forever.” I don’t know why she said that. They weren’t going to go away. They were no longer red and angry looking. I touched the middle of my back with my hand then stopped. The words were there. They’d just be there. I put on the dress, and stepped out. Elise smiled, “You look great.” She had on her own dress. I was a little bitter. She looked adorable in a sweetheart neckline strapless dress. I was happy she could wear things like that though. Even if I couldn’t. Sierra linked, “You used to wear stuff like that. One day…..” I linked, “One day the scars will still be there.” Sierra linked, “But they are a part of you. They are nothing for you to be ashamed of. You wore bikinis at home. We’ve seen them. It doesn’t make me change the way I think of you. It makes me want to pulverize Trevor.” 

            I sighed, “You all looked at me with pity until you got used to them. I’m this pack’s Luna….they can’t look at me that way.” Sierra sighed, “You’re wrong. They show how strong you are.” I linked back, “It would upset my family and Xander. I think we’ve all got enough right now.” Sierra shrugged, “Fair enough.” Haley popped away and the three of us walked out together. As soon as we got outside, I saw Xander first. Freya linked me, “Win on the outfit for that look alone.” I snorted, “Yeah….that’s true.” Xander started growling at people for some reason. Elise snickered. I was about to ask Sierra when I noticed she’d zeroed in on Phil. Xander walked over and literally tucked me against him. I had no complaints about that. I wasn’t surprised when people I’d saved ran over to hug me. I stole a few glances at my family, and nearly broke down. I’d wanted them to be proud of me. Particularly Jason since I knew he was alive. He was beaming brighter with every person that came over. My anger at the McCann’s tripled at that moment. I wasn’t normal because of them. I couldn’t walk over and hug my brothers….or my family because of them. The chasm of hurt between us was too vast right now that we’d gotten that first hug out of the way. I could literally feel something inside me wanting to lash out at them. I linked Freya, “Why do I feel that way?” Freya linked, “I don’t know….you don’t but you do.” Great. 

            Eventually, I left Xander to go get a drink. Haley popped next to me and smiled. Before she could say anything I heard several growls. Haley stiffened. I asked, “Are you ok?” She nodded. Her eyes were hard. I could see a hint of gold in them. I turned to see a pretty woman flirting with Eric. My eyes narrowed. I’d seen people like her. Edward and Jean had s*x with other people. They’d have their mates sedated, but the amount of men who cheated on their mates was a high number. Both parties to cheating made me sick in our world. Humans could lie about it. Supernatural’s had marks. Anyone could see them. To cheat on your mate, and to want someone who had a mate….pissed me off. Amy started talking about her car. She mentioned it six times, and Eric couldn’t have looked less interested. I studied her car. That was a rental car. The resistance used to rent. I knew that device was for tolls. She didn’t buy that car. She came here and rented it. Eric kept shooting loving looks at Haley. Amy would touch him to bring his attention back to her. Eric even clarified he didn’t invite Amy here. Typical. She was twisting his words to fit her narrative. Why couldn’t people stick to unmated people? I’d seen men flirt with Luna Elena. She never did anything, but no one would’ve blamed her. Edward cheated on her all the time. I just did not understand these people trying to come between soul mates. To cause devastation to the families, packs, and the mates themselves. I looked over at Xander. He looked annoyed, angry, and a little hurt.

            I was done standing here watching this. No one hurts my mate or my future mother in law. I linked Haley, “Is this working?” She glanced at me startled, “Umm yes.” I linked, “Promise me that before you act, you’ll let me talk to Amy.” Haley tilted her head, “As I am intrigued by what you would say to her….I promise to stay here until you’re done.” I smiled, “Thanks.” I charged across and introduced myself to Amy. I told her exactly how it was. Everything she was doing because she couldn't take her eyes off her selfish goals and herself. Even Eric’s blinders fell off. Granted I had to loop Cassie in. I couldn’t believe this woman didn’t know who Cassie was. Basic logic would tell you Cassie was Haley’s daughter. Which meant she was Eric’s. She’d known him for five years and didn’t even know what his kids looked like? That was just sad. Then again this was the same woman who didn’t notice Eric never gave her permission to call him by his first name and not his title so…..she’s just….dumb. Sierra linked me, “Uhhh….how did you know that was Cassie? That’s twice now.” I linked back, “Still don’t understand how you didn’t know that it was Cassie at the drug buy, and I don’t understand now either. It LOOKS like Cassie because it IS Cassie.” Sierra snorted, “Again…..that girl….looks nothing like Cassie.” I rolled my eyes. She might be the first werewolf who needs contacts. 

            I was NOT going to have Xander live the life Addison, Caine, Dax and Sierra lived. Granted Xander’s dad wasn’t trash, but I was OVER the people who felt like they could do this. I could only give those people a slap of reality. This b***h though….Cassie could make her tell the truth, and that seals the deal. Eric was being held back by Xander’s Uncle Bjourn. I sighed. He would be more difficult than Haley in these situations because if she promised….she’d have to follow it. He did not. As an alpha, he ran a lot hotter about such situations. I had no doubt men flirted with Haley too. I could not grasp that this woman didn’t realize if she’d managed her goal….it would break their business arrangement. I knew loose stories, but I knew people that hurt Haley ended up dead. Particularly at the hands of Eric, but her family was right there too. I could not believe I had to tell this woman the ripple affect her goal would cause. Ripples that were unacceptable to me. Haley had already shown me such kindness, and I would NOT stand for someone hurting Xander this way. Or my friends. Buttercup wasn’t a friend yet, but she was getting there. Micah was my friend and so was Cayden. They were like brothers already. Elise was a sister. None of us should have to deal with this lady's selfishness with our mates. Then there were BOTH sides of Haley’s family. Amy would suffer an agonizing death….Eric would have serious issues with both families….just so many f*****g problems. Just….seriously. How do people not see past themselves to see what their actions cause? It’s maddening. 

            Eric ended their partnership and walked over to Haley apologizing for not seeing it. To be fair, the people that flirted with him were subtle. People who flirted with me….were not even remotely subtle. Most just told me they wanted to have s*x with me. The Conners all popped over to hug their parents. I stared longingly at mine. Their eyes were practically begging me to come hug them. I just couldn’t. What was wrong with me? They were back. I should run to them. My feet felt like they were encased in cement. We just stared at each other sadly. I turned back and told Amy she should run. Not that would help her get away from popping fairies or the Hackura. I heard my parents wondering how I knew Cassie was Cassie. I frowned. What was wrong with everyone? Cassie was obviously Cassie. I turned and saw Cayden smirking. The other Hackura present were all staring at me. Ok….awkward party of one, Melanie McAlister step on up. Why was I ALWAYS the one people were staring at? Couldn’t ANYONE else have a turn?