The Alpha Enforcer and His Dancing Warrior

Interesting Meetings Pt. 1

            Melanie held onto Xander tightly as they flew into the air. I couldn’t help but gaze in wonder. Freya purred, “His wings are amazing.” She was right. They showed his wolf side, but obviously his fairy side as well because….well...he had wings. That brought me back to it being my fault he had them in the first place. Guilt crashed in as we landed in a new treehouse. This one really looked like a space Xander came to blow off steam. It felt like this was a unique space for him. That made me feel even worse. This had to be his place to go and relax and he’d shown it to me. Freya sighed, “Of course he did. He loves us.” I couldn’t hold back my sobs anymore. This was all my fault. Why on earth did I think the fairy goddess would help protect Xander from this pain? Of course she wouldn’t. She was the literal worst, along with Selene. Xander didn’t deserve this. He definitely didn’t deserve to be thrust into what he saw. I somehow knew he’d seen Trevor brand me, and seen all the words he’s carved into my back. I don’t know how...it must just be my intuition or something. Freya snorted, “Sure...that’s it.” My brain couldn’t even fathom her words at this point. She had some other meaning, but I didn’t know what it was. 

            I kept apologizing to Xander. Why was the fairy goddess so mean? It would’ve broken Xander to HEAR about my scars….let alone see my back. She didn’t have to send him there to a time when he was forced to helplessly watch it happen. That was cruel and unnecessary. Hearing or seeing the end result was enough. Was there no end to the goddesses’ cruelty? Why couldn’t they just let me protect the people I loved? After everything they allowed to happen to me...it was LITERALLY the least they owed me. Xander did make a good point that the sixteen year old’s me’s Freya in the reality he went to would be stronger faster. If Freya was my wolf in that reality. Freya snorted, “I am your wolf in all realities.” I had no idea how she knew that, but I believed her. Maybe everyone’s wolf was the same. That would make sense. Xander asked about my back. It just confirmed he’d seen it all. I cursed all the goddesses in my head for showing Xander that. They were trash. They somehow just kept getting worse. I actually did not think that was possible for them to sink any lower, but MAN they were out to prove me wrong. Xander told me that none of those words on my back were true. I was beginning to believe that. I used to believe I was all those things. Lately though, I was definitely not a curse. To be fair, I always just thought I was cursed. Not that I cursed others. Just that I was cursed to have a horrible life. Lucinda’s words had gotten through to me about being a freak though. I was different. That didn’t make me a freak because people labeled me that. I gave them power believing that, and that was the last thing I wanted to do was give those people. Freya snickered, “Finally. We have reached the acceptance stage...that’s good….for future things.” 

            I sighed, ‘Do you have to be so cryptic?” Freya laughed, “Soon…..it will not be and we will have a long chat about things.” I asked, “How soon?” Freya seemed to think about it, “Not too long...If I had a better guess...I’d tell you...maybe the end of this week...if not early next week.” Well, I could live with that. One word that never bothered me was Ice Queen. I didn’t care that anyone called me that. I knew I wasn’t an Ice Queen. I did love that Xander believed no man or woman should be labeled that way because they didn’t want to have s*x with someone else. That’s exactly how I felt. When Xander got to Trevor’s name on my back...I broke. I hated that his name was there. I knew it didn’t make me his. I just hated that I couldn't get them off no matter how hard I tried. Xander told me that with some magical help...he could take them away with his mom. I was stunned. Freya linked, “Not to be that girl….but I told you that.” She also knew why that was so hard for me to believe. It was one of the things I wanted most, and I didn’t tend to get my wishes anymore. I hadn’t for a long time. Freya linked, “Things are definitely changing for us. I’m here now….Mate is here now...We are surrounded by love again as we were meant to be. You were never meant to be trained to fight by yourself. You were never meant to not know love. Or our mate. You two were supposed to have known each other most of your lives. You were meant to stop many bad things, but you were never supposed to suffer. That was not the path meant for us. It’s the path we have, and we will make the best of it. We are in the ribbon with mate, though. We can change things to how they were supposed to be. That’s what we can do.” She was right. 

            I had to focus again. My family would have questions now. Questions I did NOT want to answer. Xander said he would take care of it. I loved him for that, but I think I would have to figure out how to deal with this. I couldn’t brush it off and pretend. It would eat at them, and I didn’t want that. Plus, Ezra was here. He’d LOVE to torture my father with that information. I couldn’t have that. I’d been outsmarting Ezra from the beginning….I just needed to do it again. I still hated that Xander was in so much pain because of me. It wasn't right. It was so bad it felt like it was burning me. I couldn't imagine how it felt for him. Xander’s astonishment shot up from my foot. Did he not realize how intense his pain was that I felt it too? I shoved that aside. I was making this about me. I needed to comfort him. I complimented his wings to bring us back to a happier place. He brushed it off, apologizing for what I went through. That brought me back to my family. This would kill them. Especially my dad. I was upset with them….I still felt abandoned, but I didn’t want them to hurt. I didn’t want to be used to hurt them either. I was so tired of being that vessel of anguish for everyone. I always brought pain and suffering into people’s lives. I was tired of being the way for everyone to do that. 

            Xander brought me out of those thoughts asking about the GPS tracker I had on him. I blushed. EJ must have told him. Dang it. I had a watch for Xander anyway. The GPS tracker in those was better than the one in his ring. I didn’t want to think anymore. I just wanted to feel me and Xander. I knew getting his wings was supposed to include some….sexy times. He’d probably been putting that off. I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want to remember those nights with Trevor. I didn’t want to remember wishing I could just die so they’d all leave me alone. I didn’t want to remember the self hatred I’d felt thinking my biological father killed my family. That my old pack and brother blamed me. I didn’t want to think about how many times I whispered to myself that I looked like my dad. I was done with that. We made our way to the bedroom. I sighed. Might as well get fully naked. He already knew about my back. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. After some debate Freya linked, “You can do this. If you want. He won’t think less of you. Mate loves us. Nothing will change that.” I believed her. Before I could question myself I took my shirt off. Xander studied me saying I was beautiful. It made me want to cry again. He wasn’t looking at my back. I wasn’t beautiful. My skin used to be unmarred. Now….it was ugly. I’d just never cared about that until now.

            He flipped me over and I felt his fury as if it was my own. Xander was mad for me though, not at me. He kissed each scar and whispered beautiful words I could tell he meant. I knew Trevor’s name infuriated him the most. Every single word upset him though. I needed him. He needed me. I kissed him and we lost ourselves in each other. For him, I think it was knowing I was truly ok. For me, it was feeling so loved by him, and that my scars didn’t change that for him. I was falling asleep by the time we finished. He told me to sleep. Unfortunately, when my eyes closed I saw the same thing I’d seen several times now. Everyone I loved fighting in human form, no wolves or powers. My mom was about to die when a snarl of anger stopped everyone in their tracks. I groaned when it faded from my view. I yelled at the sky, “WHO IS SNARLING?! WHAT HAPPENS?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THIS WORLD! EITHER ANSWER THAT QUESTION OR CUT IT OUT WITH THAT DREAM! I have to save my mom! I JUST GOT HER BACK GODDAMMIT! GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!” A roar of anger pulled me out of that dream state. I sat straight up in bed startled awake. My heart clinched. I knew that roar. It was Tristan. He was in pain. I closed my eyes. He had to know. Xander didn’t answer his question, so he went to the person that would. This was my fault, again. When would the cycle of hurt end? I saw a note on the pillow next to me. 

Mel, 

In case you wake up, I’m going to the gym to work out some anger. I’ll handle your family as I said I would. This was my fault, and I’ll fix it.

Xander

I sighed. He was wrong. This wasn’t his fault. It was honestly Trevor’s. He took advantage when of me when I was emotionally, mentally, and physically weak. Not to mention I was bound by handcuffs. I made my way out of the treehouse. I took a second to take in my surroundings then took off running for the dungeons which had to be where Tristan was. 

            I found Tristan, Jason, and Xander where I thought they were. I heard Ezra taunting them all. I was so over him. I was over his manipulations and I was really pissed that I was continuously used as a way to hurt the people I loved. It was too much. I told them we should leave. Then I decided to taunt Ezra myself. I toyed with him letting him know his horrible son, Robert, was captured already. Ezra had three sons. All by different mothers. Tao would probably have his other half-brother be his beta. He had both Alpha and Beta blood, but he didn’t want to be the Alpha. He was a tad obnoxious, but he was a good guy. I made it back to the top of the stairs where literally my family and Xander’s had gathered. Just what we needed...another group get together about crap I went through. Joy. Xander popped my brothers up to the top. We eventually went inside. I had serious doubts that Ezra lied to my brothers. He wanted to hurt our family. It would make the most sense that he told them the truth. The rat bastard. 

            I shot Xander’s mom a grateful look when she made sure no one was going to make me uncomfortable. I needed to get my family to agree not to go to Ezra for information. He would tell them things cruelly to hurt them. I needed to offer them something. As much as I hated it, their guilt for what happened would work in my favor. I didn’t want to use that, but to protect them….it might be the best choice. I could compromise on some things, but I never wanted my dad to see my back. Hearing and seeing are different. In my opinion, hearing was enough. I also wanted to know what the HELL Addison and Jason were doing here. Addison linked me after explaining they’d heard about the ribbon stuff, “I figured what he’d seen. I saw the end result. I was angry enough. I know you didn’t want him to know. I wanted to check on you, and Jase did too. Are you ok? I’m so sorry Mel. This should’ve been your choice.” I sighed, “Goddesses suck. What’s new?” Addison bit her lip, “There is literally nothing new about that.” Elise tried to encourage me to open up. That was great, but she didn’t understand. Nothing about the last several years would be healing to my family or hers. It would hurt. They lived lives of bliss with bad headaches if they thought about me. I lived through hell, but it was my hell.

            Evidently, I had to point out that plenty of people did know what happened to me. If I wanted to talk about it...I could. I just wanted it to stay in the past. I didn’t want that life here. Addison seemed to be the only one who understood. Freya linked, “You’re missing one other person who understands.” My eyes cut to Xander’s mom, Haley. She understood. It was plain as day on her face. Well, they knew I was whipped. That’s a given. They probably knew that before they saw my shirt. Even if it was just a guess….it was logical given them found a punishing field and knew I was there a lot. It wouldn’t be logical to think I was shocked all the time. Tristan was pissed I wasn’t giving them full answers. He could stay pissed off. I trusted them but at the same time….I didn’t. That hurt me a lot, but I didn’t think it gave me the right to hurt them emotionally back. Why was that so hard for everyone to understand? I shook myself and made a deal that I’d tell them about my back if they stayed away from Ezra. Jason wanted to see it. Of course he did. Fine….he could see it. Logically….my scars were somewhere in his memory. Hazily but there. He’d been chained up in a tree as I was whipped, but he was never completely out of it. I’d imagine he knew he just wanted it to be part of his nightmare. Sadly...it wasn’t. I would never show my parents though. Compromising with my brother…. that was a thing I could do. Addison linked, “You agreed because he’s seen it.” I sighed, “If he doesn’t fully remember…..he will soon. He did see it. He’s probably wondering if his memory is correct.” Addison tilted her head in understanding. 

            My family eventually agreed to my terms. Then OF COURSE they had to bring up the undergrounds. Stupid freaking Ezra. It seemed to be understood that my mom and Ezra meant the real undergrounds, not the ones they could monitor. I wasn’t getting into that. Out of all the motivations I had….this one was selfish. I knew they’d be mad at me…..and they’d have a right to be. Everyone always told me if they were alive they wouldn’t have wanted me to punish myself for their death. On some level, I’d always known they were right; however, I needed to feel pain for what I’d caused. I felt I’d deserved it. Now….I was ashamed of what I’d done in the undergrounds. To a degree….it did give me funding. Though, I stopped fighting that way when Xander had asked, and I still made a lot of money. I was done with this conversation. I wasn’t going to give them the tools they wanted to hurt themselves emotionally. They wanted me to share because we were family. Were they serious? I’d been acting independently for a long time. I’d been solitary for a long time basically told I didn’t have a blood family. Just because we were back in each other’s lives, that didn’t change. I couldn't just revert back to that version of myself. Even if I wanted to….part of me really did….I just couldn’t do it. Like did they not understand how much all of this sucked? I hate that this hurts Xander. I hate that his hurts my family and my brothers. It all sucked. I was already going to try with Jason. I was trying now. It was just hard. 

            I needed air. I needed to run. I was out the door quickly. I didn’t miss Chason and Fowler on my heels. How long had they been around? I shook that thought. It didn’t matter. I ran until I heard a pop. I stopped expecting Xander but saw his mom. She smiled, “I thought you might like this place. Elise mentioned you had pound it, and I myself find it calming.” I sighed, “Yeah, I like it.” We sat in silence for a while. Eventually I said, “Is it so wrong that I don’t want my past to have anything to do with my right now?” Haley answered, “No, it’s not so wrong. I always encourage everyfuckingone I know to understand that telling their story has to be done in their time. What I will say….is the past has a way of not staying in the past. I understand that you hate what happened to you, and that it hurts those you love. I f*****g hate that myself about my own past. As much as it f*****g sucks….it is how we move forward. I held back details that people forced into the f*****g light, and I’ll never not curse them to the seven circles of hell for that. Once those things were out there though…..it upset the people I love. I hate that. I hate the pain my past causes my children, my mate, and my family. It took time, but I found the power and my control came from when I took it to share my story myself. I wait until my children are sixteen…..The echoes of my past still come around, but I have Eric to hold on to. I wish….I was normal sometimes. I’m not f*****g normal though. When you think about it….Is anyone? We all are f*****g unique. We all go through our issues. Some of us just get physical and emotional scars along the way. No one can f*****g tell you when you are ready to share those pieces of yourself. Only your own heart can. That doesn’t stop from the past from bringing s**t up before you are ready.” 

            I sighed, “Of course.” Haley smiled, “I tried to open myself here too soon. I wasn't truly ready. I was trying to be accepted. I see that now. Honestly, I should’ve f*****g seen it then. With Eric, it was different. You will understand that since you know how the mate bond is. I trusted him with everything, and I still f*****g do. I wouldn’t do anything differently with him; however, his f*****g family….I wouldn’t have opened up so f*****g soon. I wasn’t f*****g ready for them to know so damn much about me. That’s what will be different for you. I’m here to fight for you, and the Conners have gotten over their no secrets bullshit. We have balance. It’s way better this way. Obviously, we need to refuckingvisit what gets kept secret….” She took a deep breath and added, “But f*****g magic was involved so I am breathing because it wasn’t completely everyone’s fault for keeping things about you from me…..That’s beside the point right now. Your past might try to force your f*****g hand, but all will take is one word Melanie….you tell me one word….link me you’re uncomfortable or something and it stops. I will f*****g handle everything. You can always come talk to me. I think you should talk to someone….because...from personal experience…..pushing things down without talking about them….comes back to f*****g haunt you. I had flashbacks and nightmares. I think that’s normal in our horrible f*****g circumstances; however, I think I perpetuated them by not talking about them and truly healing. I had to learn that myself though. Which my own classes helped me realize…..it was a b***h and half realizing I could diagfuckingnose myself. I’ll help you, Melanie. If you want to talk to me….I’ll be here….if you want to talk to another pack therapist here….I really do think you should; however….that’s up to you.” 

            I sighed, “I probably should. I’ll think about it some more.” Haley nodded, “Well, let’s get back before our Alpha males can’t take it any long and come f*****g look for us. As if we can’t handle our damn selves. I think you and I would be quite hard to beat together in a fight. Do my son and husband know that? Hell yes. Does it matter to those Alpha genes of theirs? No.” I laughed, “I think you’re right.” Haley laughed, “I know I’m f*****g right. I know those men like my own heart.” I laughed, “The saying is like the back of your hand.” Haley sighed, “While….that does make a little more f*****g sense than most goddamn saying in this realm….my hand acts on my thoughts. I control it. I know those boys like my own heart.” I smiled, “That is really beautiful. You should spread your own sayings here. We could get you your own website of sayings.” Haley smiled, “Would someone be able to find it on the google?” I laughed, “Yes, we could do that.” Haley laughed, “I really f*****g like you, Melanie McAlister.” I smiled, “I like you too.” I truly did. I was getting a sinking feeling she was right that I needed to talk to someone. Logically, pushing everything down and ignoring it….might now work the best. Haley popped us back outside the house. She seemed to find something about that interesting. I shrugged it off. 

            When we walked inside as Xander exclaimed he’d already be married to me if I was marked. I was completely stunned. Freya linked me, “One day, you won’t have these lingering doubts about our worth. I know why you do….things...ugh… they just were supposed to be very different.” Xander reaffirmed that he would marry me. He even offered to get married before I was marked. Wow. That was going against a serious tradition for Alpha’s of how things went. I did know I wanted to marry him….this was just so different from how I thought everything would go down. Dylan told me while smiling that Xander was serious. I already knew that. I could see it in his eyes. Xander couldn’t lie, and his sincerity was flowing up through me from my foot. Why was that getting stronger? Freya answered, “Because I am getting stronger.” Sure...that made...sense. I guess. Dylan kept rambling then dropped what felt like a literal bomb on us all. I gaped at him when he just casually announced Claudia Harden had planted flowers around here. He had to know how Haley felt about Claudia. I knew how Haley felt about Claudia…..and I wasn’t around to see it. I’d heard people talking about it. I glanced at Haley. Oh she was mad….like really mad. She unsurprisingly blew up about it. Eric looked astonished. He seemed to be searching his memory to remember if what Dylan had said was accurate. After several minutes he paled.  Uh oh. Dylan was clearly right. 

            I linked Jason, “That seems bad.” Jason snorted, “Bad? We should get out of here before the storms blow in. Sometimes they last for days.” I bit my lip. Haley could control the weather. Jason might be right. Haley popped away. That garden was toast. If Haley was a fire fairy….I’d say there was about to be a fire….she was an earth and sky fairy though….the garden was so done. Dylan happily teased Eric about the garden. I still didn’t know why after all this time this was the moment he chose to tell everyone about said garden. Eric had enough of Dylan so Wesley got him out of there…..he sang the whole way out the door. Xander used that as a way to cover our exit. When we got to his room, he seemed surprised about my reaction to him wanting to marry me. My stance had logic though. We hadn’t discussed it. Xander reiterated that we could marry whenever we wanted. I would think about it. Part of me wanted to jump on that. Part of me wanted something about us to be normal. Especially considering so far….nothing was traditional or normal with us.” Freya snickered, “I hate to burst that bubble….but we will always be different.” I asked, “Why? Once I’m marked….we will be like every other Alpha and Luna...well….I mean we fight really well but still….” Freya laughed, “No that’s not it.” I guess she was back to being cryptic. 

            Xander told me I could start planning our mating ceremony. I smiled. That I could do. There were details….I didn’t want to think about or decide yet. Like my dad being alive to walk me down the aisle. I kind of thought if Xander didn’t reject me that I’d have Hendrick and Mason do it. That was a remote thought to me though because I believed he would reject me. It was just the small part of me I allowed to hope and dream sometimes….now my dad was here….Did I have him walk me down the aisle? Dang it...Haley was right. I did need to speak to someone about all this. Xander said he needed to go downstairs. Great...I totally needed to be left alone with my thoughts right now. I laid down on the bed after he popped away. I felt Xander’s anger intensely before I felt him control himself. I linked Freya, “Good lord. What now?” Freya sighed, “I don't’ know yet, but you didn’t want to think about certain things….at least this distracts us.” I asked her, “Do you know about my dream I keep having?” Freya was quiet for a while then answered, “I do.” I sighed, “Do you know what it means?” Freya was quiet again. Eventually she answered, “I know more about it than you do. I do not know why no one shifted or used their other powers they have.” I asked, “What do you know about it?” Freya linked me, “You’re not ready for those answers yet. I just need a little more time to get stronger. Then….then we will have some serious chats.” That sounded good. 

            I was about to question her further when Xander linked me asking not to come downstairs. Umm….what? I didn’t plan on going downstairs. Now...I felt like I should get closer. I reasoned with myself as I opened the door to our room. The stairs leading downstairs...were not technically going downstairs. Freya snickered, “How fairy of you.” I sighed, “It’s logic not mischievousness.” I tiptoed my way to the stairs and halfway down before I sat down in the middle of one stair. Freya linked, “If mate wasn’t so angry….he’d notice we were on the stairs. I just wanted that stated for the record.” I snorted, “Unless you were helping hide us from him.” Freya sighed, “True.” I asked, “And that means?” Freya didn’t say anything. Of course not. I needed to focus because I felt Xander calming, but something was off about it. It wasn’t his own calm. Maybe TJ was helping him. How did I know that? I linked Freya, “Don’t even say you can’t tell me. I already know that you know the answer but won’t tell me.” Freya snorted, “Soon, you will know.” I sighed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I focused again. I listened to the conversation and discovered there were cops looking for me. ME? What? Someone reported me missing? Who the hell would do that? That would be very dumb. I frowned. I should've gotten an alert. I’d have to redo my parameters on my code. It should’ve caught that. I linked Xander to conjure me a license with my real name. They’d have to leave if I proved I was me. If Xander and EJ made them leave….they’d just keep coming back, and Xander could kill them.