Wild One

Forty-Six

Niccolo

It's not as hard I thought it'd it be—falling in love again. Manon made it so easy. It wasn't falling. It's the guilt. The guilt of loving another so soon.

I lost Dena and the baby almost six years ago. It seems like forever. It wasn't. And already, my heart beats for someone else.

I'm... I'm scared. I'm scared I'll forget her. What kind of person am I if I don't stay faithful to her.

She died protecting the family—or family. She's gone but I—I don't wanna let her go.

Cause that means she's never coming back. Ever.

And what if—what if I do this? With her, Manon. What happens? What if the same happens to her that happened to Manon?

What if it's Karma? I mean I'm not good guy. I run a criminal syndicate. I kill people. I hurt people. I don't really feel bad.

The world is full of sheep's and wolves. Either you're a sheep—or you're a wolf.

I choose to be a wolf and that means some sheep have to get hurt.

But maybe that means that anyone I love gets hurt. Dies. Cosmic retribution.

If I love Manon, I don't think I'll have it in me to love anyone else. That's it.

So do I take that chance?

She's laying down, all entangled with me. She breathes in and out, her chest heaving slightly.

“Mh,” She turns over, laying her leg over mine. I smile, kissing her neck. I put my arm over her side.

“Ti amo,” I whisper in her ear. “I don't want to, it's your fault that I love you.”

“I love you, Niccoló.” She whimpers I'm her sleep.

I'm stunned. She gets me every time I swear.

“I love you too,” I tell her.

And it's true. I love her. I love her. I love Manon Bordeaux.

I love her. I love her and maybe that's okay. I don't need to break her heart. I don't need to keep her near but push her away.

I could just...love her.

I loved Dena. Dena loved me. It's not impossible. Maybe everything can be okay.

Maybe...

***

I wait. I watch her sleep. And I wait for her to the wake up. So I can tell her.

Finally, I can't wait. She's been sleeping for ever hours now!

I shake her awake, which she doesn't really appreciate.

“What the hell, Nic?”

I smile, biting my lip. “I have to tell you something.”

She frowns. “What can you possibly have to say at 3:23 in the morning?”

“I...I wanted to tell you,” I choke. s**t. I was so excited and now...she's looking at me. And...“Well, I was...thinking about the whole thing.”

“What whole thing?” she groans. “Can't this wait?”

“No,” I blurt. “I, I was trying tell you that...I love you.”

Well, there it is. Finally came out.

She laughs. “Don't be absurd. The power of p***y compelled you. Happens to the best of us.”

Us? Is there something I don't know? She lays back down, without giving it a second thought.

That...didn't go as planned. I guess I'll try again tomorrow.