Darken Moon University

Safe? : Aelira

I pulled him down, desperate to feel his weight, desperate to feel anything that might drown out the fire consuming me from the inside out. My lips found his in a clumsy, frantic clash of teeth and need, trying to convey the urgency screaming through my veins.

“Please,” I gasped against his mouth, my hands tearing at his shoulders, trying to pull him fully on top of me. “Make it stop. Take it away. All of it. I need you to—”

Kaiden allowed me to pull him up onto the mattress, but he didn’t let me be crushed by him. Instead, he moved with a deliberate, agonizing slowness that made me want to scream. He braced his knees on either side of my hips, caging me in, but he held his upper body away, refusing to put his weight on me.

My hips arched off the bed, a desperate, instinctive plea for friction, for pressure, for him. I needed him to cover me, to crush the ache under his weight.

"No," he gritted out, the sound strained.

I whimpered in frustration, my hands clawing at his arms, trying to drag him down. "Kaiden, please. It hurts. You said you’d help."

He caught my wrists in a gentle, iron grip. Before I could react, he pinned them to the mattress on either side of my head. He didn't hurt me, but the hold was absolute, effectively trapping my flailing body and forcing me to stop moving.

"Look at me," he commanded. His voice was low, rough with his own struggle, but the Alpha undertone cut through the haze of my fever like a knife.

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears leaking out the corners. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see the pity or the hunger. I just wanted the pain to stop.

“Eyes on me, little wolf,” he ordered, his voice brooking no argument. “Now.”

The command in his tone—tinged with that impossible-to-resist Alpha authority—snapped my eyes open. I was panting, my chest heaving as I stared up at him, feeling wild and trapped.

Kaiden’s face was a mask of fierce control, sweat beading on his forehead. His eyes were swirling pools of gold and amber, his wolf right at the surface, fighting to take over. But he held himself back, his muscles trembling with the effort.

“I know it hurts,” he said, his voice ragged but steady, his gaze burning into mine with an intensity that pinned me more effectively than his hands. “I know every instinct in your body is screaming at you to mate, to f**k, to make it stop. But I am not an animal, and neither are you. Not right now.”

He leaned down closer, his nose almost brushing mine, inhaling my scent, but he didn't kiss me. He just held me there, forcing me to ground myself in his presence.

“You are not in that cellar,” he growled, the words vibrating against my lips. “You are not fifteen. You are here with me. And you are not going to let the heat make this decision for you. I won’t let you.”

I thrashed beneath him, a sob tearing from my throat. It felt like I was dying. Every cell in my body was screaming for him to crush the resistance, to just take me and end the torture.

"I don't care!" I cried, my voice breaking. "I don't care about the heat. I just want it to stop. Please, Kaiden. I can't... I can't do this."

"You can," he said, his thumb stroking the inside of my wrist, a soothing contrast to the steel grip holding me down. "You are stronger than this fever. And you are sure as hell stronger than him."

"You are the one in control here," he said, his voice dropping to a harsh, urgent whisper. "Not the heat. Not me. And certainly not the memory of him. You are going to tell me what you want, and you are going to look me in the eye when you say it. If you can't do that, then I don't touch you. I will sit right here and hold your hand through the fever until it burns itself out, but I will not take you while you are looking for a way to disappear."

A desperate, broken sound escaped me. The heat was a vise, squeezing my lungs, making rational thought impossible. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to decide. I just wanted the pain to end.

"I want you," I sobbed, the confession tearing out of me. "I want you to make it stop."

"Show me," he commanded gently, his gaze not wavering from mine. He released my wrists, but he didn't move away. He stayed caged over me, a wall of muscle and heat, waiting.

"What?" I breathed, the fog in my brain thick and sluggish.

"You want me to take the pain away," he said, his voice rough but incredibly steady. "But I need to know you're doing this because *you* want it, not because your body is forcing you. Take control of the pleasure. Show me what you need."

My heart hammered against my ribs like a trapped bird, the sound deafening in the quiet room. The fire under my skin was screaming for relief, for him, but his gaze held me pinned, demanding more than just my body—he was demanding my soul, my will, my active participation.

"Show me," he said again, softer this time, but no less commanding. "Touch yourself."

I froze. The air in my lungs seized. "What?"

"Show me," he repeated, his voice dropping to a rough, gravelly murmur that vibrated against my hypersensitive skin. He shifted his weight slightly, giving me room, his eyes locked on mine with an intensity that made my stomach clench. "You said you want this. You said you want me. But I need to know that *you* are the one choosing it, not the fever. Take the control back, little wolf. Show me what makes you feel good."

My hand trembled as I looked down at the space between us. My shorts were already damp, the scent of my arousal thick in the air, mixing with his pine and rain. The idea mortified me, but the ache between my legs was a throbbing, desperate demand that I couldn't ignore for much longer.

"I can't," I whispered, tears pricking my eyes again. "Not with you watching."

“Yes, you can,” he said, his voice leaving no room for argument, though the edge of command was softened by the raw tenderness in his eyes. “Don’t look away from me. Look at me and see who you’re with. It’s not him. It’s me. And I’m not taking anything you don’t freely give.”

The heat flared again, a punishing reminder of my body’s betrayal. A whimper tore from my throat, the pain so sharp it blurred my vision. I couldn’t do this. I was too exposed, too broken. But the alternative was the fire consuming me whole.

I forced my gaze to lock onto his, drowning in the swirling amber depths that promised safety, even as my hand shook violently. Slowly, with agonizing hesitation, I slid my hand down my stomach. My fingers brushed the waistband of my shorts, and I flinched. And I started to pull them off