Chapter 10
1063 Words
I was moping. I was heartbroken. My world was shattered into a million of pieces. He was dead. Really dead. I began to print out all the photos I could find of Morten when he was my age.
Just what my Cam looked like to me. I tape photos all over my room. Including the poster Cameron was frozen in for the rest of his days. I began to read on astrology.
Of love in the past history. Trying to find an inkling of hope that Cameron might find his way back to me again. I was not sure that was ever going to happen.
I cried myself to sleep at night. Found myself talking to Cameron's poster in hopes he might be able to hear me no matter where he was at in the world.
Every time I looked at his face in the poster of his face froze with surprise, shock, horror, it made my heart ache because I never told him what could have happened.
♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ
I clutched the locket that hung over my neck. The one Cam had placed on me. I had not taken it off since he placed it around my neck. Or made my bed. I slept on his side of the bed. I was wearing one his shirts at night.
Tears fell and fell. I felt like I might die at times myself the pain was so unbearable. I wander over to Cam's side of the bed where I hung his poster.
♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ
"Cam, I am so sorry. I knew this was going to happen. Maybe if I had warned you about that you would have stayed away from Morten. And we would still be here. I have so many things I did not get to tell you. I was selfish for not telling you while you were here. You taught me about so many things in this crazy life. You made me believe in magic again. Seeing how wild this world can be Cameron. Hell, I am not even sure you can hear me right now. Cameron, you are my best friend. I am never going to find someone like you again. Ever. Cam, I am so sorry I did not tell you" I sniff. I touch his poster.
My fingers touch his face. The out line drawing. I kept hoping that another falling star would come. And that I could make a wish on it. I love this man. I was so desperate to have him back in my life again. I would never take him for granted. I felt so lost without him in my world.
♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ
I kiss his poster hoping where he was in his world he was not feeling alone. "I know this is silly to say, but a part of me thinks maybe you can hear me. Wherever you are in there Cam. I wish I could go in there with you. I would. I would give anything to live in there in your world. I am falling apart without you in my world Cam. How can I go on?" I say as my lips tremble. I touch the poster with shaky hands. Someone is knocking on the door. "Hang on Cam. I better go see who it is" I tell him.
I head out of my room. I open the door to find Jan there.
"Hey there buddy. How are you?" she asks me as I let her in.
"Feeling like I am in hell" I mutter.
"You look like you can use a shower" she says making a face at me.
"I could care less" I sigh as we sit on the couch.
"Cameron has not come back yet?" she asks me. I shake my head.
"No, he has not come back" I sniff. She pats my back.
"I am so sorry" she says.
I take a deep breath. "The worst part is this is all my fault!" I wail pitifully.
"How so?" she asks me.
"I knew this might happen. And I did nothing! If I warned Cam, he would have stayed far away from Morten" I state. "He would have made sure that nothing like this happened! I should have warned him!" I wail. I cry again. She hugs me.
"Babe, stop beating yourself up over this" she says softly. "It will change nothing"
"I know" I sniff.
"I came by because Morten is doing his concert tonight" she tells me.
"I don't care" I declare.
"I want you to come with me. Morten would like you to be there. He feels badly about what happened" says Jan. I nod.
"I know he does. I can't go" I sniff.
"Please come" she begs. "Also, there is another shooting star coming in a few days. And the thing is you already made a wish. Nothing can happen if a wish already came true. I am sorry" she says as she shows me reports on wishing on stars.
"Figures" I sigh bitterly as tears come.
"Please come see Morten sing" she begs me.
"Fine" I agree.
"Wonderful! We will be up there around six tonight" she tells me. "Be at the coffee shop"
I nod as she gets up to leave. "I am happy you will be there"
"Thanks" I say softly.
♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ
She heads out of there. I hop in the shower. I get ready for the concert. Then when I am all dressed I stop by Cam's poster. I lean in kissing it lightly. I touch the poster. I wish I could tell Cam I loved him.
I would give anything for that. There was no point in telling a poster. He would never know.
"Cam, I love you. I never got to tell you that. But I love you with all my heart. I wish you could hear me say that to your face right now. I was going to tell you when we were out of work. On a day we had off. I know how much you loved me. I loved you to. I am sorry I waited to tell you. Now you will never know Cam. I can only hope that you can hear me right now and that you know what I said. My heart belongs to you Cam. Forever" I promise him. I kiss his poster as I hold the necklace in my hands. I feel tears coming again so I head out the door.
♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ ♥♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ ♥♫♪ְֱ ♥ ♫♪ְֱ
- Writer
