Chapter 6
1139 Words
[BRIANNA's POV]
I just kissed him.
Oh gosh, I must be a total fool... I just kissed Kent Knight! Right there in front of our house, I actually did what my mind had been trying to make me do for so long now, and somehow, I really ended up aiming for his lips. I could not breathe for a second now that it dawned on me. Our lips totally met and it lasted for quite some time. And did he just really kiss me back? He did, didn't he? I wonder if I had just imagined it all because before I knew it, he was already pushing me away from him, and I realized that my car was pulling up in the driveway. Did his friend see it too?
Even if we were caught, his friend made no attempt to point it out when he had approached us. He just quietly stepped out of my car and returned the keys to me. Then, as soon as I took it, I immediately ran away and rushed into the house without another glance. The door slammed behind me and I was just grateful that my parents were not even home yet. I had told them I was going to be late tonight. It's Friday and they should be out for dinner at the moment.
I was all alone in the house for now. And as I let out a long sigh of relief, it hit me again.
I just kissed my first love. I bit my lip and felt really emotional as I thought of it. I don't know if I should be happy or be sad that it happened, but it was... really a spectacular feeling. The way it felt so incredibly right, being in his arms and tasting how he had kissed me back. It was so much more than what I had expected it would be. I'm not even sure if I could ever move on from that again. But reality sucked.
Because if it did happen, the kiss was not for something to make a point. I only did that to get myself some consolation before I could finally put a stop to these hopeless feelings. But it turned out, it just got even worse for me. And now, I don't think I will ever recover from it.
I'm really a fool, huh? A stupid, hopeless fool.
When will I ever learn? How will I even face Kent again after what I did? I still have to see him at school on Monday. And just the thought of ever meeting his face again made me shake in distraught and anxiety from where I leaned against the front door. He would surely confront me about the kiss and he will never stop until we finally discuss it. Or worse, he might even directly tell me how it won't ever be possible for us... to be more than what we were. But what were we, anyway?
I'm just the younger stepsister of the one he truly loves.
And I can't keep these feelings go on for him anymore. He will never ever reciprocate it. Not in this lifetime, I believe, because I always knew. I always knew that there has only been one person who will always have his heart. Even way before... He only has eyes on her. I saw it all. Just a while ago, I saw it from the way his eyes had moved unconsciously to where my stepsister's bedroom was. He had been looking up at her window, wearing the look of pain and regret.
He just kept staring even though we both knew she will never be there anymore. He was obviously longing for her until now. And that part of the reality was just something I have to accept tonight no matter how badly I wanted him to forget about her... He will never notice me.
And now that I had made the move to kiss him, it will surely ruin whatever was left in the bond that had existed between us before. I know what he was going to tell me anyway if I really told him what I felt. Yet despite that, I took the risk to kiss him because I knew I will never get to do it. I really gathered all the courage that was left in me to put everything on that kiss considering that I was finally trying to say goodbye.
This was really the end of my first love.
As I took a deep breath, I let the silence that was surrounding me, comfort me all alone. I found myself sobbing as I bit my lip and let the tears flow down my face. I eventually came to accept the weight of the truth and the consequences of what I just did. I must prepare for the worst. It's the only way I could get over this entire ordeal. I should force myself not to show any sign of vulnerability once he finally confronts me about this. After all, I already knew what he'll be telling me when we meet again, face-to-face.
There's no way Kent would just let this all go after tonight. He will definitely reject my feelings, for sure. And I'm already expecting it, even if it absolutely hurts. That's just reality and I've already seen it all coming, one way or another, even from the very beginning. And who knows? Maybe once I hear the heartbreaking truth coming right out of his mouth, I can finally achieve the closure I needed for my own self.
The closure that would help me resolve this one-sided love. And hopefully, it would also push me to completely forget how terribly I have always been in love with him.
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I dreaded the morning when Monday came. I felt like I can't really get out of bed because I was too anxious about ever stepping my foot at school again. Being at school would definitely lead me to see Kent again. I wonder if he was still thinking about that kiss from Friday night. I took a deep breath and tried to force myself to start the day.
I have to be strong.
It's only the impending rejection that I have to face and I just needed to get over it. Then, once it's done, I could finally move on. As I walked out of the room, both Mom and Dad were already busy having breakfast in the dining area. As I sat at the table with them, the murmured conversation they were having abruptly stopped and I suddenly felt something in the atmosphere. They looked like they were hiding something from me and I consciously stared at Dad, who was sitting across from me, and I slowly sipped from the juice Mom gave to me.
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