My Unmarried Pregnant Secretary

4.7

Her reptile smile. Ew. She can afford teeth cleaning but doesn't get it? It's probably because she always is doing drugs. I think I have a fetish with people's mouth hygiene.

Agastya looks at me, his blue eyes looking regretful. Then he winks at me, "We'll continue this later, Varnika." He backs away lingering his hands down my arms leaving us reaching for each other.

When he steps out into the hall, Decana immediately turns to me, her chinchilla eyes popping out at my face.

"Stay. Away. From. Him." She glares at me clenching her wild teeth together.

Who does this Do-Do bird think she's talking to? I know it isn't me because if it was she would be on the floor by now. I look around me as if there may be someone else in the room, then look at her.

"Who do you think you're freakin' talking to, Lice-Headed, Hoarding-Junkie?! Do you have a death wish? Cuz right now you're asking for one." I started taking steps closer to her. I could see the fear in her eyes but she tried to remain her confident composure. I'm about to beat up two people in one day and attending a funeral next week.

"You heard me." She c****d her eyebrow at me. No this lemur didn't.

I yanked the front of her shirt bringing her closer to me. I'm not playing games anymore. This little bony-legged, hunk of dirt better watch her hairy back.

"Yeah, you're right," I paused, soaking in her fear, "I did hear you, and I'm giving you a chance to change your response before I smash your face through that dingy wall over there." I can't control what happens when I get angry and am not held accountable for the bodily damages caused when I am angry and/or upset.

I hear Agastya coming back down the hall, calling my name. I shove Decana back and straighten out my clothes so he can't tell what's happened.

"Varnika are you in--oh, okay, we can go downstairs now. Tim didn't want me after all. See ya, Decana." As we're leaving the room, I blow Decana a kiss. That's right, Decana. Kiss my pimple.

I may not be a bother, but threatening me? That's a no, no. I will most definitely stand up for myself.

Once we get on the first floor next to the staircase, Decana stomps down the steps, almost trampling over me. She gives me the worst glare I've ever seen, smirks, and then walks around a corner.

That's weird. My incident wasn't supposed to amuse her. I was trying to belittle her to the size of a mustard seed.

We go to the back of the house near the patio doors, and after about two minutes of me and Agastya saying hi and chatting to all of the school kids, I can't help but think of something about each one;

I don't like you. I can't stand you. You get on my nerves. Why did your mother waste her time having you, and your face needs a therapist.

All of a sudden, the front door opens revealing a man in a dark hoodie and I instantly recognize him. He's the guy I saw in my freak 'vision' from earlier today. Oh, this can't be good. He walks in casually, not making a scene. I have to get out of here before I get my throat sliced.

That'll be a story to tell. 'Hey, yeah, Varnika has been having these weird things happening to her unattractive body and then got cut.' But all Jannat would be saying is how she finally gets my perfume.

"Um, Agastya I think--" Too late. I'm interrupted by a loud gun shot. If that psycho killed somebody already. . . .

"EVERYBODY GET ON THE FLOOR!" The whole room turned into a life sized version of domino's. Including me.

Are you really going to rob a house? I mean really, what would you steal? A couch, the family portrait and a dust bunny?

He at least wore a ski mask to hide his face now, though I've seen some of what I can remember of his face when I had my thingy earlier. He started to scan the room pointing his gun at the trembling teens. I honestly wasn't scared. But I don't know why.

Okay, you little weird power thingies can work now. I don't know what's been happening to me today, but now would be a great time for you to show up. I can skip on the floating though.

I started to whisper shout and mumble to myself, words of encouragement that only probably made me sound like I was actually a mental patient.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Work! Abra cadabra! Ally kazoo!" Now I'm mad for embarrassing myself to no one in particular. "Just freakin' work!"

Then, I saw something moving on the floor. Shoelaces.

Uh, sure. Let's tie his shoelaces together. That's right. Good abnormal body. Good girl.

His shoelaces from his gray Sketcher's started to slowly and wobbly move around each other forming a double knot. I don't think that's enough.

Maybe, you little works of art could somehow disable the gun? If that's not too much to ask.

As soon as I finished my thoughts, the ammo refill immediately fell from his handgun and onto Decana's spotless, hardwood floor.

I didn't have to 'do' anything else because just then a jock got up and started pounding at the man. Some other guys got up and started to jump him too. Good. Nuff done. I'm outta here.

Along with the rest of the house guests, I jumped up and sprinted out of the back door edging my way across her soft, plush, grass and towards the woods.

Ha, I probably sound like those i***t, model body, actresses, who in the Lifetime movies, are 'running' from the attacker and go towards the woods, like that's actually safer. But now, I understand why, because they aren't really paying attention to anything, and I'm pretty sure I run like a toddler.

I'm hurriedly stopped when I'm at least 70 feet into the woods by a hand grabbing the back of my cover-up, causing it to reveal my bikini top. I turn around to face Agastya. He's breathing like a dragon and avoiding eye contact. Great, he basically saw me in my bra.

I hurry up and pull it back over me. No later than two seconds after, I'm pulled into a Sasquatch hug with Agastya.

"I'm sorry Varnika." For what? He's stroking my hair, it's so relaxing, I have to stop myself from trying to go all limp on him. "I shouldn't have dragged you here." Got that right.

I hug him back, sniffing him as if he's a drug, "It's okay, Agastya."

"By the way, if you're just gonna smell me, I could just let you borrow my cologne." I lean back enough to look in his face. Butterflies must be at war with each other with guns and hand bombs because that's exactly what it feels like in my stomach right now.

I feel like I'm in one of those romantic movies that I always make fun of. We're here in the woods surrounded by dirt, worms and other infectious diseases. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't describe things. I can make anything sound disgusting.

"Varnika, I just want to hear you say it although I already know." Oh no, he wants me to talk about why the mold was in his locker. It wasn't really my fault. I have a forgetful memory so when I had the cheese--"Just say whether you like me or not."

Oh.

I tried to avoid his question by looking around at the scenery and pretending I can't hear him.

"Varnika, answer me or else." He had a hint of teasing in his voice, but it was still scary to think of what would happen.

I knew it was the nice ones! He probably called that man to do that so he can murder me in the woods. But the next thing I know, I'm on the ground in hysterical laughter.

Ugh. He's tickling me.

"Varnika, I know I told you to answer!" He started to laugh. Well, at least somebody is getting a kick out of this. And that person is about to get a kick out of me.

"Agastya! Stop it!" I can't be taken seriously anymore. I know that right now, my face resembles a donkey because I laugh like I have no sense. Especially when your crush is tickling you all over your stomach and occasionally your neck. I'm extremely ticklish and only a few people know about it. Now, there's someone else to add to the collection.

"I. . . Can't breathe!" I gasp for air as he finally let's go.

"Do you like me now?" Oh, wow. His smirk.

"Well. . . ." I start but then he does the 'Come at me Bro' stance and I flinch, thinking he's about to start tickling me again. "Yeah! Yeah, I like you!" I'm a wuss.

Agastya had a victorious half smile on his face now, "That's what I thought."

**::**::**::**::**::**

After an hour of strolling through the woods going to the edge of Decana's back yard and back a few times, we finally settled down on a rock to have a relaxing conversation. I don't know how, but I ended up with my head in his lap while he played with my hair. It's a privilege just to touch my hair. So he should feel special right now. Especially since this is the hand he used for Decana's doorknob.

"Agastya, I'm tired." I yawned out my dragon breath.

"Okay, well get up and we can go then." He nudged the back of my head and I sat up straight. I'm falling in and out of consciousness and within seconds, I feel like I'm floating on air. Sleeping here won't be ba--wait, no. I am floating! AGAIN?! Ugh. I have some serious poop to do when I go home. I'm only about one foot off of the ground so maybe I can explain this. . . .

Varnika, get yourself DOWN FROM HERE! Before Agastya sees you!

Right when Agastya is turning around, I lean sideways so I'm now upside down and my hands are touching the rock.

"Whoa, Varnika, I thought you were tired, not trying to break your neck doing a handstand." At that, I guess my body wanted to embarrass me and dropped my hippo body to the natured, bug crawling floor. I mean, I'm not actually fat but still.

Agastya was at my side in a nano second clutching the back of my head and my left forearm. "Varnika, are you okay?"

To be honest, it didn't even hurt me. It's like I'm invincible. Not a scratch or bruise is on me. I looked up into his eyes. The way his hair slightly fell over his shimmering eyes was enough to stir up my cursed hormones.

"Yeaahh." My smile is as long as the Nile River. That was completely a fan girl moment. It's so bad, that my dimples aren't even bothering me and I know that they're there.

He smiled at me and brushed the hair out of my face. "I think you should smile more often."

Then he did the unexplainable, he leaned down and pecked my cheek. I promise you I'm legally dead right now and this is my after-life grunge body or something.

When he looked back at me in my eyes, he winked at me that signature I'm-Going-To-Make-You-Swoon, wink.

I'm not going to forget this day even if I have to beat myself up with a sledgehammer.

**::**::**::**::**::**

When I got home I shared a Hey-I'm-A-Loser goodbye with Agastya and went into my house.

"Varnika, is that you?" Ugh. My mom never could just leave. Me. Alone.

"Yeah."

She came out into the miniature hallway wiping her hands with a dish towel, "Oh, a friend of yours came over earlier. I forgot her name though. She was looking for you and I didn't know when you'd be back, so she stayed for about 15 minutes and then left." She shrugged her shoulders and headed back into the kitchen. "Serves you right for staying out so late, Varnika."

It's nine o'clock. I guess that's how us partying teens do it now. We stay out til nine, living it up at the nursing home and drinking juice boxes. At least that's what our parents think, so we let them, knowing the consequences if they really found out.

"Well, they probably weren't important anyways. No one ever visits me unless they want something that they're too fat and lazy to do." I say in a monotone voice, trudging up the stairs towards my room.

When I get inside, I turn around, lock the door, stuff a chair underneath it and kick it for dramatic effect. No one is barging in here to watch me sleep again. Those freaks of nature.

I turn around and look at my beautiful bed. Oh, those flowers on there are so cute. Every teenage girl will be drowning themselves in their own spit if they see my room. My bed comforter is a snow, white background, with partially transparent, large Daffodils on the spread, flowing like diarrhea. That was a bad connection but oh well.

I plop my lumpy self onto the sheets and I start to think about everything. That ends very fast because thinking is annoying. You have to process things while blinking and breathing, ugh. It's too much work.

I mentally go over what I've done so far today, and I realize that I have no clue how to explain it.

These, things, that have been happening to me aren't even normal. I know I'm not a normal person, but it's still weird. Maybe I should try to test it. These freakazoid powers can't control my life forever can they? I'm pretty sure I'm just turning into an alien. No big deal.

Wait, what am I even thinking? Of course this is a big flipping deal! I'm a natural freak and I don't know why! If I find out who has done this to me, I promise you somebody is going to be finding their body parts spread across the United Freakin' States! Unless, these weird incidents turn out well for me. Then maybe, I'll give them a hug.

I sit up straight on the edge of my bed and look around. Hmm, I want to test this on something small an harmless. After scanning the room, I spot a pencil holder on my polished desk. That'll do, I guess.

I lift my hand hesitantly feeling like the i***t I am, and aim my palm at it.

Oh, this is so stupid. It's not even gonna work. What's wrong with me? I have proof I'm psychotic and there's not a doubt in my mind about it. Hey, that rhymes. Oh, what a loser-ish thing to say.

Suddenly, the pencil holder lifts up and I start to panic.

"OH MY GOSH IT WORKED! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK! I'M AN ABNORMAL ORGANISM! THERE IS NO FREAKIN' WAY!" I rush my words and I shake my hands in front of me from pure terror.

My pencils, pens and junk I didn't feel like throwing away cuz I'm lazy started to be tossed out of it and go all over my floor. Great, who's gonna clean that up? Cuz I'm not the maid. . . . .

Maybe I should try to do something with both hands? It makes more sense. It probably helps me steady things.

I once again lifted my hands, but this time towards my fishbowl. I don't know why I'm being so dumb, but maybe Mr. Eubblehead won't get hurt. All I have to do is not flip out.

Slowly, the fishbowl started to rise off of my dresser like an air balloon, but following my steady movements. Stay calm Varnika, it's just a simple object FLOATING IN THE FREAKIN' AIR!

I clenched my hands into fists, shutting my eyes closed and bringing my fists on either side of my face. I knew Mr. Eubblehead was gonna die. I shouldn't have done that. I guess I really am dumb most of the time huh? I peeked my eyes open and saw the fishbowl dashing towards my LOL-face. When I noticed this I hurried and ducked down, hearing the shattering sound of breaking glass come from behind me.

"Varnika! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!" Oh, no. My mom's downstairs and my room is directly above the kitchen.

I scrambled over to pick up my goldfish, Mr. Eubblehead, "Uh, nothing! I'm just having some anger management teenager problems! You know, throwing objects across the room and all!" I shouted back. If only she knew.

"Don't you worry Mr. Eubblehead, I'll find you some water." I ran to my bathroom sink and filled it with warm tap water to put Mr. Eubblehead into. When I dropped him in there, he started to swim as if he was dying. Aw, so cute. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash. I looked at the source of the light and saw nothing. Weird. I turned back, smiled at my fish and exited the room.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I examined what's in front of me.

It was spotless. But I had a feeling deep down in my Candy-Filled stomach, that I didn't do this.

When I made it to my bed, I noticed that there were items on it; a blooming, vivacious, red, Varnika, a dead, red, withering, Varnika and a small sheet of paper that read, 'Varnika, this is your future.' in very cool handwriting. If this wasn't a death threat, I would be clapping my hands, bravo. Why would someone want to kill me? Actually, I can see why someone would want to kill me. I can name the reasons off one by one. But I never thought someone would actually do it!

In fear I start to clench and unclench my 10 year-old-like hands, run them through my thick hair and pace. I turn around and point my hand towards the evil items and shove my arm to the window. Then out the items flew. . .

Man, when I'm angry, my so called 'powers', cant be tamed. . . . I guess that's what the superhero's call a weakness? I don't know. I'm a newbie. This can't be so bad anyways. I mean, I have to admit, having powers isn't all bad. I smirk at my thought.

Oh my gosh I have superhuman abilities! I'm like Superman! But a girl! Superwoman! That still has the word 'man' in it though. I'll do this later. I'm losing my mind. And there isn't much left of it anyways.

I turned around to come face to face with a tall man with a full ski mask on dressed in all black. He had eyes that are a mix of bright blue and violet. That's unusual. Before I can even let out my scream he places a firm hand over my mouth and another gripping my left forearm over my burn. I forgot all about my burn, I hope it's healing.

"The Varnika and note were your warning." His voice is so baratone it's almost unreal. As if it was one of those movie narrarators. But it seemed yet familiar. A faint memory. In a blink of an eye, his body scratched like a hologram and he disappeared.

Oh boy, I forgot that all of those superhero's had some enemy. . . I just didn't think it'd happen so fast. They could at least wait until I was finished eating dinner. Now I don't have an appetite. Thank you creeper.

Now, I'm not going to be able to sleep. Stupid hectic day.