I can't deny them because she specifically designed it for me and that would just hurt her too-frail-for-my-liking feelings. Parents are complicated. Why'd my dad have to cheat? He could put her back in check with reality. But no, he couldn't be faithful.
I look around at my bathing suit section. I want something pretty, but not beautiful, fitting, but not like a second skin, and charming, but not screaming 'Look at me, I'm half-naked.'. I completely contradicted myself.
I decide on my piercing, electric blue, white polka dotted bikini. It has a strap that goes around the neck and back. I figured this was fitting enough to my bipolar description. Now, the cover-up. I just want something simple that won't draw attention so I grab my spandex, light pink, halter tunic and some white, slip-on shorts, that can't even be seen, just in case.
I cautiously watch the door as I change into my bikini and cover-up, worried that someone might be able to unlock my door again and barge in, uninvited. I have a fear of that when guests are over, I'm just weird. For shoes, I pick up my Walmart brand silver gladiator shoes again. I love these shoes. I'm going to end up wearing a hole in them. It's not like it hasn't happened before.