Out of the Woods

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Taking to the Oars

Tumawa ako ng pagak. This is ridiculous. You've got to be kidding me. f**k this life.

Akala ko sa wakas ay mahahanap ko na ang kaligayahan na inaasam-asam ko. Akala ko tapos na ang paghihirap ko sa buhay na 'to. Akala ko sa wakas ay sasaya na rin ako. Pero hindi pala. Nagkamali ako.

Everything was a lie! My whole life is a lie! Everything that has happened to me is a lie!

Looking back to everything that has happened before, I really thought only happiness awaits me because I have suffered enough, because I have been through a lot since I was a kid.

I was abused. I was locked in a room. I lost my mother. My dad never really cared for me. I lost a pet. I have been living a bad life, so I thought it is only right for me to be happy once I go through all of that. Naging pampalubag loob ko ang kaisipang lilipas din ang lahat at sasaya din ako, sa tamang panahon.

Kaya naman noong lumaki na ako, umasa akong sasaya na rin ako sa wakas. I had high hopes especially when I have met the people who made me think that life isn't that bad after all. Those people made me really happy. We've been through ups and downs. They cried and laugh with me, especially him. I may be cold to them but I do care for them, a lot. My happiness was on the roof because I know that they love me... or so I thought.

I thought they are the answers to my prayers. Akala ko sila ang maglalabas sakin sa madilim kong nakaraan. Pero hindi pala. I thought I finally made my way out ot the scary, dark, and endless woods of my life, but I was wrong. I'm still trapped inside this dark and endless forest. They did not rescue me from the dark and scary woods, instead,  they are the reason why the darkness that is trapping me worsened, and it is all because they are a bunch of fakes.

I do not know what to do anymore. I feel so suffocated. There's no way I can withstand this kind of pain. I am trapped again, and it seems like the only way out is to die. 

Napasinghap ako, nagpipigil na umiyak. I closed my eyes and started putting the pieces together, one by one, trying to figure out when did everything start to go wrong.

I tied my hair up into a ponytail. I did a final check on my face in front of the mirror before I stormed out of the room.

Pero bago pa ako makalabas ng pintuan, napa-igik ako nang biglang sumakit ang batok ko. Napaupo ako sa sakit.

My face crumpled. I winced in pain. s**t! It's happening again. It's the fourth time this week. I feel like my nape is burning.

Dahan dahan akong tumayo at gumapang papuntang kama at saka bumaluktot padapa. I placed my head on my pillow, with hands on my nape.

I stayed in that position for a few minutes hoping that the pain will soon subside just like before. At nang unti-unti nang nawala ang sakit, dahan dahan kong kinapa ang batok ko. I did not feel anything strange except for my birth mark. I got up from my bed saka tumalikod ako sa salamin para tingnan ang batok ko.

Wala pa ring kakaiba. Just my birthmark, again. I sighed. I have been experiencing birthmark pain since last week. I tried to see a dermatologist to see if something's wrong with my birthmark but it turned out fine.

Ugh! I do not know anymore.

I sighed. Inayos ko ang nagusot kong uniform. A final look at myself, then I'm done. I went out of my dorm.

Today is a special day. A month has already passed since the bombing incident, and within a month, we have managed to reconstruct the boys'dormitory. We have also strengthened the security of the school to make sure no enemy will be able to enter the premises. Napa-iling na lang ako nang maalala ang mga pinaggagawa ng mga estudyante sa nakalipas na buwan.

We stayed inside the underground compound for the whole month. We held our classes there, so everyone shared almost everything there. They eat every meal together, shared their hopes and dreams, even their deepest sentiments. I listened to the Agovians. I emphatized with them, and I think that was the positive side of being locked up inside the compound. They were able to know each other. I was able to know A-GOV, and students were able to make friends with their co-Agovians, with classes set aside.

Nakaka-antig ng puso ang makita sila na masayang nakikihalubilo sa mga ka-eskwela, mapa-galing mang Dashinngarde, Metalthorn, Steelblade, o iba pang klase. It seems like we are one.

Nang mapalapit na ako sa auditorium ay napangisi ako. Sa labas pa lang ay dinig ko na ang ingay ng mga estudyante. Excitement is evident on their voices. I smirked. I see everyone is dying to kill, huh?

Mr. Chandler is in front of the auditorium's closed doors. When he saw me, he bowed, as a sign of respect. He then opened the double doors for me.

The whole auditorium went dead silent. No one dared to make a noise. Even though I am wearing my uniform today, with the dashinggarde pin, lanyard, and tie, I still look cold and intimidating, na para bang pag kinausap ako, bigla na lang bubulagta ang kakausap sa akin without even doing anything.

Tanging ingay lang ng heels ng boots ko ang maririnig sa buong lugar.

I stopped near the entrance at nilingon ang mga estudyanteng nakaupo sa kani-kanilang upuan. Nagkanya-kanya silang iwas ng tingin. They can't look at me in the eyes. Hmm. I smell fear. I smirked. They fear me. Hindi pa rin nila nakalimutan ang ginawa ko. Syempre, hindi talaga maiiwasang may isang naiiba sa isang grupo. A-GOV  isn't full of good students. May iba ring mga matitigas ang bungo kaya may nasampolan ako.

When we were staying in the underground compound, may nasampolan akong iilang estudyante na mga bastos at walang modo. I did not do much. Tinorture ko lang naman ng ilang araw, sa harap nilang lahat, at hindi pinakain. Hindi naman yon malala kung ikukumpara sa mga ibang taong ginalit ako. But well, whatever. Problema na nila yan kung matatakot sila sa akin. Okay naman akong makisama sa mga estudyanteng matitino, pero kapag mga siga at walang modo na ang kaharap ko, nagiging demonyo ako.

I continued walking. Taas noo akong naglakad patungo sa stage kung saan naghihintay si Mr. Verne at ang iba pang teachers. They all bowed nang makatungtong na ako sa stage. I motioned them to sit down.

I then grabbed a microphone and faced the beloved students of Academia de Gualtiero Orfeo V.

"Good morning Agovians..." I trailed off.

"Few days from now, the 53rd anniversary of A-GOV will take place..." I paused.

Tiningnan mo muna ang mga estudyante na nakikinig sa akin.

"I know that the school has been through a lot since the previous months..."

I paused again, thinking about the tragedies that had happened inside this very own school, and the gems that we have lost. We may have stumbled down many times, but that does not mean we will forever stay in that way. We will eventually find a way to get up, and this time, we will face each challenge with braveness and courage, for us to never falter and stumble down again.

I continued my speech. "After ensuring the safety of everyone, I think the yearly traditions should not be anymore hindered by these happenings. And as the headmistress of Academia de Gualtiero Orfeo V., it is an honor to welcome you all as we celebrate the yearly Agovian Tribute: Taking to the Oars!"

I received a standing ovation from everyone while clapping their hands. I smiled. This is my school, my students, and my people. Messing with them means messing with me, too, and if anyone dared to mess with what's mine, I will make sure to make that person's life a living hell.

I raised my hand to silence them. They all stopped clapping and gave their attention to me.

"Are you now ready for our first event?" I asked and grinned.

Everyone shouted "Yes" in an exciting voice.

I smirked after I uttered the words.

"Take charge of your life, pick up the necessary tools, forge your path and blaze a trail out, for I officially welcome you all to the Agovian Tribute's Yearly Cazar!"