Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART FIVE: NINA. [The girl and the tree]

He laid me down on the bed, with extreme gentleness, and then he delicately took my shoes off before covering me with the blanket he took from the closet, instead of using the bed covers. I assume he thought I was completely out and he didn’t want to wake me up.

After making sure I was well covered and ‘comfy’, he laid next to me and sighed. My eyes were closed, but I could feel his gaze on me. I wasn’t completely out yet, I was still awake, but I was so tired that I couldn’t open my eyes. It reminded me of those first nights, when I realized I had someone there with me…someone that I couldn’t see; then, I felt his hand gently move the hair away from my face. I could feel the soft warmth of the blush on my cheeks, but I really hoped it wasn’t showing. I didn’t want to reveal I wasn’t asleep yet.

I felt him scoot closer, and felt his arm gently wrap around me. He nestled my head against his chest again, and I felt his body covering mine protectively. I felt the urge to hold him as well, but I didn’t want him to know I was awake, and as I debated myself whether I should wrap my arms around him, or not…I drifted away into a deep sleep.

~~~~~

I was back at the tiny cottage, and there she was: the little girl. She ran towards me as soon as she saw me, as if she had expected my visit for a long time. She hugged my legs and smiled up at me. I smiled and petted her head gently.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. I should be more mindful from now on, and visit you more often, shouldn’t I?” I took her small hand in mine and she held onto it with both hands, as if she was agreeing with me. As usual, she didn’t talk at all.

We walked together to the kitchenette and I made her a snack. I just watched her happily eat what i gave her, and watching her made me feel fulfilled, and pampered. It was odd, but at the same time, it was…so nice. She yawned when she finished and went straight to bed, climbing there on her own. When I got there to cover her up, she took my hand and pointed her finger at the rustic, wooden front door.

Peeking through I saw a blushing Greer. I felt my eyes widen for a moment, then I couldn’t help myself and chuckled. She looked adorably shy, for some reason.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered looking at the girl, who had closed her eyes, and was now seemingly fast asleep.

“Well…I came to visit, I guess…who is your little friend?” She walked in slowly as she spoke under her breath, being careful not to wake the girl up.

“I…am pretty sure she is…me…” my gaze fell on her. A smile came to my lips as I watched her sleeping peacefully.

“Oh…well...yes, I see the resemblance now…” She leaned closer to inspect the girl’s face, and then looked up at me smiling. “She looks so peaceful…”

“She does now. When I met her, she was crying up a storm…or…I was…I mean…this is confusing.” I closed my eyes for a second, and when I opened them, Greer’s face was so close, that I could have never prevented the blush that tinted my cheeks in that moment.

“You’ve always been really pretty…I’ve thought so since the first time I saw you.” After tucking my hair behind my ear, she walked away. She looked around the cabin and once she finished her inspection, she stood in front of me and smiled. “This is the place you always said you wanted to live in…isn’t it?” She giggled covering her mouth trying to be really quiet. I didn’t really understand why she was laughing now.

“I guess so. Why is it funny though?” I lifted my eyebrow as I watched her.

“I was just wondering…do you want to live in a place like this because this place exists within you…or…does this place exist because you want a place like this to live in?” She shrugged and c****d her head to a side, looking awfully cute.

“Hey…stop with the existential questions. I already have plenty on my plate…. This isn’t over, she is just a part of the equation. But now I have no idea of how to proceed…” I looked back at the girl, who moved slightly in her sleep.

Greer fell silent for a moment; I could feel her gaze upon us two. And when I looked up, for a moment, I thought I saw someone else there next to Greer, but, I blinked, and there was no one there. Just Greer, a very masculine and protective looking Greer.

“Oh…sorry, sometimes I just…” He sighed flustered, trying to explain his change as he saw me staring at him…like a weirdo. “It’s weird that I suddenly take on my male form when I feel a greater urge to protect you…isn’t it?” He scratched his head like he felt suddenly a little awkward.

I rolled my eyes and then, walked towards him. I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. I didn’t care what he, or she was, as long as his essence was there. I loved him equally, no matter what. I knew I would love him that way forever.

“It’s okay. As long as it’s you, I don’t care about the presentation you come in.” I looked up at him and smiled.

“I am…glad to hear you say that.” He wrapped one of his arms around me, and gently cupped my cheek with his free hand. I leant into it closing my eyes.

Right then, I felt a serenity in me, that I had forgotten over the past few days. I wasn’t worried about any stalkers, and I wasn’t worried about making any decisions. I was just...being; nothing more, and nothing less. I felt something stirring within me. Like a spark being suddenly reignited.

In that moment, Greer pressed his forehead against mine. I felt his breathing, deep and calm, as if he needed this moment as much as I did.

“I don’t know if I would have ever survived without you. And right now, I am so glad you are here.” I remembered those dark days, when I didn’t have Greer by my side, and somehow, I felt he had always been there.

“Shh…don’t say that. You are so much more…stronger than you realize…I promise…You are.” He placed a small kiss on the top of my head….

As I felt the touch of his lips, I could sense it. Something clicking inside me, like if a piece of the puzzle was finally being placed in the right spot. From it, something radiated through my being, spreading beyond myself. It felt like…like it was trying to reach Greer. Like a cord trying to plug onto a power source…but…different. Like if I was the power source and I was trying to merge with a second one…as weird as that might sound.

And suddenly, I felt something tugging from the hem of my shirt. I reluctantly moved and looked down, the little girl was there, staring up. When she realized I was looking at her, she extended her arms up, towards me.

“I think she wants you to hold her…?” Greer looked at her, and his expression was the sweetest expression I had seen.

I leaned down and picked the girl up, wrapping my arms around her. She quickly got herself comfortable in my embrace, and then, she pointed towards the window. I looked at the window and then at her. She nodded, as if she was answering the question I wasn’t formulating out loud.

She wasn’t pointing at the window, but at the tree, and she wanted me to take her there…she wanted ME to go there.

I nodded to let her know I understood, and then I walked outside our home within the Prism. I felt Greer following me. He followed me to the edge of the lake, then he placed his hands on my back when he saw my hesitation, and he pushed me forward very gently.

As the previous time, I didn’t sink. I was standing on the surface of the lake. I walked a couple more steps, and the breeze softly blew past me, making the Willow leaves sway rhythmically.

The smell of grass, leaves…and just…the scent of nature, tingled my nostrils and I sighed feeling momentarily relaxed. All the remains of tension I had still in me were slowly stripped away by the breeze. It carried them away, like they were fallen leaves.

There was something different in the Willow tree, something pulsating within it; not physically, but…it was like an energy that emanated from it, in small pulses.

When we were halfway there, the girl jumped from my arms and ran towards the tree. There, she seemed to look up at someone; I walked closer, now filled with curiosity. I looked back, and noticed Greer was still standing there, looking at me with caution. I guess he was worried I would fall in the water. But I was sure, after the last time, that I wouldn’t.

When I got there, the little girl ran back towards me and pulled me under the overgrown willow branches, and then…everything around me wasn’t what it used to be.