Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART FIVE: NINA. [Let's try to get along]

“It’s okay. She is very obviously upset, but she isn’t bad…” I gently brushed Greer’s hand off and walked towards Terry.

Her hand was still on the door, as if the door wasn’t enough protection. I placed my hand on hers and looked into her eyes. I watched as her cold silvery eyes immediately warmed up.

“I’m sorry…It’s just…her attitude really annoys me.” Her hand loosened and I managed to get it away from the door.

“Well, you both have strong personalities. I guess, it’s only natural that you two feel like this towards each other. But I promise I’ll be fine. She is really nice. She’s very protective, just like you. And she is usually very friendly...Just give her a chance.”

She sighed at my words and nodded.

“I’ll try to be a little less…harsh.” She took a deep breath and pulled me into her arms.

“Good. Now, we should apologize.”

I moved away and opened the door, and she groaned as I did. She really wasn’t happy with the idea, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I opened the door and peeked outside, Robin had leant next to the door. She seemed a little upset, but as soon as she noticed me peeking out, her frown turned into a bright smile...until she saw Terry peeking behind me.

“Terry wants to apologize.” I blurted out before anyone said anything, and I heard a laugh from inside the apartment.

Terry clicked her tongue and was about to walk inside, but I managed to grab her hand and pulled her outside. She sighed loudly after looking at me, and seeing I was serious about the apology.

“Fine! I’m sorry I guess.” She crossed her arms and turned her gaze anywhere but Robin.

Robin rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the wall, then offered her hand as a sign of peace. Terry looked at Robin’s hand, and I could almost feel the air around her filling up with tension. Then, she reluctantly took the offered hand.

“Good, now that we are all friends let's go in...”

I started to walk back in when Robin spoke:

“Actually, I probably should get going. I just wanted to check on you and see if you needed anything. I have stuff to do. I’ll come by later though.” She smiled and waved as she walked away.

I felt Terry relax at my side immediately as Robin turned around the corner and went downstairs. I looked at Terry and she looked back at me trying not to look so relieved; I squinted my eyes and she giggled and shrugged.

“Well, let’s go back inside.” She said as she dragged me back in.

As we turned our backs away from the hall…I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching. I stole a brief glance back, but I saw nothing, so I just shook my head to try and get rid of that feeling.

“That was fun…huh?” Greer said as soon as we closed the door.

“Don’t be mean.” I asked in a whisper while she grinned looking at Terry, that seemed to be a little uncomfortable.

“Sorry…I just thought there were a lot of things that…” She looked at Terry and scoffed, then focused on me “Never mind…I’ll behave…”

I nodded and smiled at her.

“Good.”

I looked at Terry, and noticed she was staring at my food back in the kitchen table.

“I’m sorry, your food is cold because you had to deal with all of that." She sat down at the table looking a little mopey, but then, she changed her expression drastically for an exceptionally cheery one. “Oh well! I guess we should eat what I brought instead now.”

Greer squinted her eyes and watched, as Terry grabbed the plate of food she had prepared for me, to throw it away, and then cheerfully unpack the food she had brought. I could swear I almost heard Greer hissing as she watched Terry throwing away the food.

I felt sorry about the waste and a little insulted in Greer’s behalf…but I also found the whole incident a little funny, especially with Greer’s reactions.

The food Terry brought was delicious, but there was something missing; in contrast to Greer’s food, this one wasn’t so...enjoyable.

While I was sitting at the table with Terry, Greer was at my side, sulking. Her elbow was resting on the table, and her hand was holding her face up…. I guess she was still upset about the food.

My hand slipped under the table, and I held Greer’s hand to give it a little squeeze, trying to cheer her a little. She sighed and smiled at me.

“I’ll clean up while you get ready.” Said Terry all of a sudden. I looked at her a little confused, and she immediately picked it up and giggled. “I thought we could go out today.”

Greer glared at Terry as she sat back straight. I looked at her and then at Terry...

“Uhm…I’m not sure. I feel kind of...well…off…” I really didn’t feel like going out, especially with a stalker around.

“Oh…well, maybe we can stay here and watch movies then.” I smiled awkwardly and then looked at Greer thinking she might not be entirely okay with Terry’s proposal.

“I think you should go out…it’s okay. Besides…you need the fresh air.” She whispered as she gently tucked my hair behind my ear.

“But…” I bit my lip and felt my brows furrow with worry as I thought about the danger that lurked around. I wasn’t ready to talk about it out loud…at least not in front of Terry. “I’ll be right back, I need to...you know…take a shower and all of that. It'll be just a moment... I'll try to be quick…” I said out loud for Terry, as I started to run away.

I grabbed Greer’s hand and pulled her with me as I walked into the bedroom.

“Uh…Nina…this isn’t the bathroom…” she looked around, and then at me, in confusion.

“I know I just…need to talk to you where she can’t listen to us.” I sighed and looked at her pleadingly.

She nodded and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Okay…I’m listening...”

I took a deep breath and brushed my hair back with my hands as I sighed…

“I should’ve probably told you this before., but I didn’t want to trouble you, as well as I don’t want to trouble Terry…again.” I stole a quick glance at her face, and then looked down at my hands as I started to fidget.

Her face seemed very calm and understanding, as if she knew exactly what I needed right now; as if she knew exactly what kind of reaction I needed to feel relieved and secure as I confessed everything.

“It’s okay…take your time.” She reached forward and rubbed my arm gently, to encourage me a little. And it worked.

“Okay…so…” I started to talk, but it felt like all the words were tangled up inside my mouth and I had to make a great effort to just spit them out. “You know what I…what I do to get some extra money so we don’t have to live off of Terry’s money forever…right?” I waited until she nodded, just to make sure she was following. “I... I deal with a lot of people. And they are all different. And some might be good, some might not, but…well money is money, and we need it; so, I keep doing it even if I really don’t like it a lot and…it’s just because, I don’t know what else to do. Everyone was always...you know… so I had to make sure there was something I could do, without having to deal with people a whole lot in person, and…besides, I don’t really know how to do a lot of things and…”

I was starting to ramble; I was aware of it. I was just really nervous, and Greer…she just kept patiently listening to me. But at some point, she reached out to me and held my hand. Thanks to that I felt a little less flustered, but I was still terrified and ashamed.

“Just breathe…it’s okay…I know what you’ve been through...I know what you do and why. I wouldn’t ever dare to judge you…you don’t need to keep justifying yourself to me…” She looked serious as those words came out from her lips.

Why was I trying to justify my actions like this? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, Greer was right. There was no reason for me to feel ashamed of it. But more than that…why was I ashamed of telling someone I had a stalker?

I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and it was definitely not my fault. I didn’t even know that person. He was the one that had the wrong idea of me. I had done nothing to make him think he was special, or that I wanted him to be after me. His feelings weren’t my responsibility. I was just doing a job, and that didn’t give anyone the right to do this. He was the one that should be ashamed…why was I the one feeling like this?

I could feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks as I came to that realization. I had felt guilty and ashamed this whole time, and it wasn’t my fault. I had done nothing wrong.

Greer frowned and pulled me into her arms, but she pulled me in with a little too much strength and we fell down on the bed.

I was crying like a little girl while Greer held me in her arms, silently rubbing my back, trying to give me a little of comfort.

“Nina…it’s okay. I…know what is happening. You might not remember, but it slipped out of you once a while ago…I haven’t said anything because…I didn’t want to make you feel worst than you already do…” She spoke really softly, and I felt a little of caution in her voice, as if she was a little afraid of my reaction.

“I’m sorry...”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about silly…not on your part at least…”

I hid my face against her and nodded.

“I just…feel so dumb…I don’t understand how could it happen again. And I was so embarrassed that it did…” I mumbled against her, and I felt her wiggle and giggle a little.

“I understand…just stop talking like that…you’re tickling me!” she giggled a bit more and gave my body a gently squeeze.

“I’m sorry...” I looked up at her and smiled in between the tears.

“I still think going out would be good for you…you’ll be with Terry and…as much as I dislike her…I know she wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen to you…” She sighed and brushed my hair away from my face.

“But what if he is there…waiting…what if he does something to her because of me?”

She placed her finger on my lips, and shook her head.

“You don’t know if that will happen or not…and you shouldn’t have to live in fear…because…Nina…that’s no way of living…” She cupped my face as I pouted a little, trying to hold a second wave of crying in. “You should go out with Terry today…get your mind out of it all and…enjoy yourself a little.”

I nodded and she pushed us up (I was a little surprised at how easily she did it, considering how much heavier than her I was). She got up and took my hand, pulling me up with her. Then she walked around the room, searching between the clothes I had thrown all around before; she picked some items and gave them to me, then she threw the towel over my shoulder and pushed me out of the room.