Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART THREE: NINA. [Reunion with the answers]

I was surrounded by darkness again…just complete darkness. I felt like there should’ve been a light there. But there was nothing; only an obscure void…or so I thought until I walked a few steps and stumbled with something on the floor.

My hands flailed around in the darkness to try and discover what had almost tripped me… I wasn’t sure what I was hoping to find there, but I was sure that what I found, wasn’t it.

I felt something big, fleshy and warm…barely. A dim light illuminated the area, like a broken spotlight.

“Greer!”

I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy that I started sobbing before even noticing the poor state he was in. He was just laying there, curled on the floor, as if he was very cold; his dark hair was a mess and he had huge dark circles under his closed eyes.

It pained me greatly to see him like that.

I hastily reached towards him, and placed my hand on his cheek, as gently as I was capable of; his eyes fluttered open and he squinted in my direction. It was almost as if he hadn’t seen light in a very long time.

I leaned down and kissed his face, over and over again. I couldn’t believe I finally had him there with me. I was too happy to be worried by his state.

He seemed confused at first, but then, as soon as his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he looked up at me and placed his hand over the one I had previously placed on his cheek, leaning onto it as he closed his eyes and smiled faintly.

“You silly, silly girl…I missed you…” He whispered softly as he pressed his lips on my hand, pulling me down towards him then.

I laughed with relief as I heard him speak. And tears started to pour from my eyes again.

“I was so worried…” I whimpered as I nuzzled his shoulder in such a loving way that it surprised even myself.

“I know silly…And I’ve been really worried too...that you would keep me locked in here for longer…without even coming to see me…” His voice was filled with pain, and I felt the guilt clutching my heart again.

“I’m so sorry…so, so sorry.” I kissed his face again, and again. Between each word, and even more times when I wasn’t talking. “I must’ve been too shocked, and I just blocked it all. I honestly couldn’t remember anything, until just now, after seeing you here.”

“I thought so…You’re not ready yet…not consciously. Your subconscious, however, seems to be fine.” He mumbled as he sat up with a grunt, pulling me up along with him.

“Well, how do we get you out?” I asked.

“Uhm…. yeah…I’m not sure about that...” He smiled shyly, and his expression just made me want to kiss his face again.

“I don’t even know how I did this…” I looked at him apologetically and held him tightly against me as I kissed his cheek again.

“Well…this is a…funny pickle we got ourselves into…” He chuckled, and despite all the worry coursing through me at the moment, I chuckled with him.

“Why do you look so bad? I know this isn’t the best place in the world…but I don’t think it is that bad…is it?” I eyed him all over as I questioned. I was really worried about the state he was in.

“Oh no, this wasn’t you I…to be honest, I had already kinda gotten out but I…did some things that made some…’people’...upset and uh…I came back here in this state...and then, you wouldn’t let me out…and I was just too weak to force my exit” He explained looking away, as if he was suddenly really embarrassed of something.

I got up and walked around a little, then turned towards him. He had sat in a more comfortable position and was now following me with his gaze.

“What happened to the door?” I asked, suddenly missing the glow that emanated from it and illuminated the place.

“Well…it’s closed for now. Until you are ready to face what’s in the other side…I think” He scratched his head slightly doubtful, and I nodded at his words, thinking maybe he didn’t have enough information, or he didn’t want to give too much away, for my own sake.

“I’m so confused about all of this…” I confessed as I sat back in front of him.

“I know…I would be too…well, more like…I am…too...” He furrowed his brows and shrugged as if he wasn’t even sure of what he was trying to say.

“Why aren’t you in your other form?” I asked, eying him from head to toe again.

“…” He looked down at himself as if he had just realized that now. “I…forgot…I’ll change right now...just…”

“No, no…It’s okay, I was just curious…silly...” I reached forward and ruffled his hair. “By the way… I kinda told Terry about…you…”

He looked at me wide-eyed for a moment after hearing the new piece of information. Then he seemed confused, and…a little angry?

“Why?...What did she say?” He leaned forward, kneeling as he reached to place his hand on my shoulder…ever so gently. I quivered at his warm gentle touch, but he must’ve misinterpreted it, because he immediately took his hand off and moved away.

“Well, she heard me cry and saw me in distress because of the stalker, and I didn’t want to let her know I had been careless again and…I told her about the other thing that had me in distress…because…it isn’t as embarrassing…and…I really missed you…and…I sound like an awful person now....” I covered my face with my hands, feeling ashamed; I just confessed I was embarrassed of him! And on top of that, I had used him to hide the second motive of embarrassment!

“Nina…It’s okay. You went through a lot because of me, and I would’ve hated to make you go through the same again. So, it is understandable…you’re not awful, just hurt.” He placed his hand back on my shoulder, and then pulled me towards him, hugging me tightly. There was something in the embrace, that reminded me of Terry.

“She didn’t seem to mind very much by the way. She said it didn’t matter, that she would always see me as she has always done…well, she used other words, but that’s the idea.” I wrapped my arms around him as I spoke. Somehow, this felt right. It felt like I was complete.

He nodded and kissed the top of my head. Then I felt him inhaling deeply, as if he was trying to take in my scent, trying to remember it.

“You act as if you had been here for a long time.” I chuckled, but I could feel him tensing a little.

“Well…not here…precisely, but those things I did… I…went to a place where time is…different than here…and…to me…it feels like it’s been months.” He held me tighter and then pulled away, getting up and offering a hand to help me get up.

“Will you tell me about it already?” I took his hand and got up, but I really wanted him to explain what had happened while he was away.

“I…am…” He stopped and looked at me, I could see him debating himself internally, so I gently squeezed his hand and looked at him reassuringly. “I am not…something…someone…you made up…I’m not a part of your imagination…I’m kind of like…a guardian…who’s supposed to take care of you from the shadows...”

“Like a guardian angel?” I giggled, but I regretted it as I saw his red cheeks and his embarrassed expression. “I’m…sorry…please go on.”

"I wouldn’t say I’m an angel…but it’s the same concept, I guess. And…we’re not supposed to have this kind of…contact…with our protegees…” He sighed heavily and looked directly ahead; his gaze was distant, as if he was reliving something. “I’m sorry, I complicated things for both of us when I decided to approach…I just couldn’t help myself…I was weak. And I am weak every single second I am around you…because you´re all that matters to me.”

His gaze was gentle, as was his touch when he tucked my hair behind my ear. He leant towards me, his face was slowly getting closer to mine. I could feel my heart racing, and a warmth made me realize I was blushing. His face was now half an inch away from mine. My heart raced even more. I felt the need to run away, yet my body didn’t answer. My eyes closed as he kept getting closer, very slowly. I could feel his breath brushing my face, tingling against my lips. And then, I felt something warm and soft, very lightly and hesitantly touching them.

As our lips touched, I felt soft waves of warmth moving around us. It was almost like being inside of a sphere of divine light.