Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART FOUR: GREER. [The headache]

Just as she had arrived, in an instant, she was…gone, and I was all alone…again…in the darkness. Not even the mysterious door stayed behind to keep me company, or at least…to light the place.

The place felt suddenly a lot…emptier, than before. A glacial cold surrounded me, slowly penetrating inside me, reaching the center of my bones…reaching deep into my core….

She was just gone...

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to move, or more like…. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place, feeling the crippling loneliness…feeling her absence like I had never felt anything before.

I knew then, why I felt this way. There was no way to deny it…not anymore…my feelings for Nina were clearer than ever….

“I…am in love…with her…” I proclaimed to the darkness…in a whisper.

Since the moment I became her…guardian…I had felt like something was different. But I could never quite put my finger in the reason that made me feel that way…until that moment.

Nina is not the first one I’ve had to guard. In fact…I have already lost count of how many other people I accompanied along their lives. So, the moment I was assigned, and the moment she opened her eyes for the very first time…and she looked at me…I just knew right then, that it wasn’t going to be like the other times. I wasn’t sure of why…I just knew that being Nina's guardian would be different…I just…knew.

And throughout all of her life I observed, but I guess…I forgot to look around her. I was so lost, so blinded by her light, that I forgot about all the darkness that surrounded her since she was little. And then…everything happened: the shards were suddenly all over her, and the people in her life, the people that she should've relied in, turned her back at her…and the world became such a cruel place, because I wasn’t paying attention.

I have always felt responsible for the way Nina’s life got so dark…so soon.... Then I was so busy trying to get rid of those stupid shards…because that was all I could do for her. And I wanted to do everything…but what could I really do for her?

Nothing....

By the time I managed to get the influence of all those shards away from her life…the damage was already done, and all Nina had of all those years…were bad memories.

When I saw things were not getting any better, I…I had to…I had to do something…and I couldn’t resist…. That’s when I started making contact with her…during her sleep.

The rules say I should never approach my protegee, but…how could I not, seeing how much she was suffering, how could I not do it? How could I just ignore her pain…her despair…she was spiraling down and I couldn’t do anything…it was heartbreaking.

I am thankful that despite all of the rules, and against my better judgment, I approached her…and I am even more happy that she found out and held onto me that night…she had just trapped me, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

After all that…things weren’t so bad…except they were. Not for her, but for me…I was the one spiraling down, surrounded by the darkness. I was falling into a void, I couldn’t feel anything around me, all I felt was her absence now.

She had left and I was devastated…even more so because she was about to find the truth, and apparently there were other plans for her…and I couldn’t help but to wonder…will she ever be able to find the truth and get rid of the heavy load that life…and herself, bestowed upon her, by hiding her true nature, and letting the people around her treat her in such a way, that her essence got corrupted over time?...Because her essence was corrupted…that was the problem here. She needed to get back all the pieces of herself together to be able to be what she was always supposed to be…what o should've made sure she kept being....

I held my head between my hands as it started to throb.

“Not now!” I thought to myself.

I had felt that pain very few times in my…’life’. It was the kind of pain you got when you were in trouble…or at least…that’s the easiest way I can put it.

Whenever someone like me does something… 'questionable'…we get these headaches. They are so bad we are completely unable to move. Well…not completely, you can fight it if you want, but the longer you fight it, the worst it gets. It’s not about the headache though…the headache just makes it easier for whoever has to come, to take you to the bosses’ office, to find and… 'capture' you.

I knew I didn’t have much time…. they were coming for me. But I didn’t care; I was ready for it…there was nothing that could be worse than the loneliness that was quickly making its home inside me…creating despair and spreading it through all of my being. So, I wasn’t scared, even though I knew at that time I had actually broken the rules…willingly, and that I was absolutely conscious of what I was doing then…I was ready...

“Bring it on…” I whispered to myself as I looked up.

Although the pain was sill unbearable…I could stand up. If they were coming for me…they’d find me standing, not on my knees…never on my knees.

A familiar silhouette approached me…a smug smirk formed on his face as he saw me standing. He ran his fingers through his very neat, blonde hair…then he fixed the collar of his jacket, and straightened his tie.

“Well, well…we meet each other again, Greer.” His bright green eyes looked at me…mockingly. “You really made the bosses angry this time. You should know better by now.”

“I know all I need to know…I just decided not to be a suckup…like some others…” I puffed my chest proudly despite the throbbing pain that threatened to make my head explode, and I could see the smirk fading from his face.

“Oh, Greer…you always have been so…” He pointed at me, moving his hands up and down “You.” He laughed. “Anyways, as much as I would like to catch up, we have to go. They already are upset enough; we don’t want to make it worse.”

“Because you care so much…” I scoffed.

“Oh, you hurt my feelings. Of course I care…” He faked a sad expression, pouting and placing his hands over his chest, as if he felt really hurt, but he couldn’t wipe the amusement, of seeing me in that position, from his face “Let’s go, now!” He said, and then grabbed my arm with a lot more strength than was necessary….

I scoffed again and kept a smile in my face…since that seemed to piss him off and I could not let that opportunity slip away….

As I was just staring at the darkness in front of us, and, in a matter of seconds…the area around me shifted. Now I wasn’t in Nina’s Prism anymore…I was in the 'Office'.