Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART THREE: NINA. [Threats and surprise visitors]

I sat in front of the computer, just watching at the recording equipment. I hadn’t touched it ever since I received those pictures. I was afraid; it wasn’t a rational fear, and I hadn’t dared to tell neither Greer nor Terry about it just yet. I really didn’t want to make them worry about anything else than they already had to worry about.

The room was getting dark already, and I couldn’t bring myself to get up and turn the lights on. I could only stare at the black screen, thinking about what to do next.

All kinds of questions roamed in my mind, like: how far would the stalker go with it? When will he make another movement? Was Terry in danger? Was I in danger? Should I try to talk to him and accept his offer in exchange for him leaving Terry out of everything?

I just never thought I would have to deal with that situation more than once in a lifetime. I couldn’t understand why it kept happening to me. It was an absolute nightmare that I couldn’t escape from no matter how much I tried to imagine, or dream a way out.

I breathed deeply, gathering courage to finally turn on the computer, staying disconnected and keeping off my PC, wouldn’t make the stalker magically disappear. I checked my mail, quickly; I really didn’t want to see anything from this man there, but at the same time, I needed to know what else did he know and what would his next actions be, so I could prepare myself some way…. Or maybe, I hoped to find some kind of apology, or something that would tell me he would give up on me and all the madness, and leave us alone.

The shock was just the same as the first time when I saw that he had sent me, a LOT of mail. More and more pictures of me and Terry; of me waiting for the train, in the train, walking home, going to the Caffeé, going grocery shopping. Pictures of Terry going to work, meeting with me. There were even pictures of the day Terry and I kissed.

After all the mails with pictures, there was a single one with text. It simply read: “I never thought you were so easy. I really thought you were different. It is really unfair, however, that you would put out for that b***h, but not for your beloved fans. Especially for me, I gave you all of my love and admiration, I gave you so much, and I have been more than willing to give you a lot more. But you keep rejecting me. WHY?! Is the quantity I offer to you not enough? If that is the case, then, I’ll give you whatever you want, I’ll give you everything just for a moment with you, just…a night. If you won’t reciprocate my feelings not even for the money, then I will kill myself, after killing that b***h who stole you from me.”

I was terrified, but I needed to keep my composure and think. There was no way he could get to Terry. She was always around people, and her building had security. And knowing Terry, they would be the best of the best. And so far, I hadn’t seen any of Terry going home, or in her house. So, she was safe…she had to be safe, otherwise…I would never forgive myself. I still had to think of a better way to deal with it than to just give him what he wanted.

I wasn’t ready to give up just yet…but I didn’t know how to move forward.

Someone knocked on the door and startled me. I looked up and turned everything off in a panic.

“Nina? I’m sorry to barge in like this, I just needed to see you, and I remembered I still have the key. I hope you don’t mind.”

It was Terry’s voice; I was really surprised to hear it, specially just in that moment.

“It’s okay, I’ll be right out with you...” I answered as I made sure everything was off. Then walked to the door and opened it nervously

“Hello kitten.” Her warm smile melted away most of the worry.

I could feel myself leaning into the door as I held on tightly not to fall; I felt like I was turning into jello. Probably because I had been so tense, so filled with worry and fear…

“Terry, hello...” I smiled shyly, and she immediately pulled me towards her, rather assertively.

“I’ve missed you so much kitten…so, so much.” She whispered as she pulled my head towards her chest, making me rest it there.

“I-I see that...” I replied shyly.

I couldn’t help but to blush; it would be impossible not to notice her soft bosom so close to my face. Things were a little awkward since what had happened the other day, so I was relieved that I didn’t have to meet with her the last couple days…but now I couldn’t deny all of the awkwardness that was lurking between us two…at least that was my perception; Terry probably was as comfortable as ever, at least, it appeared to be that way.

“I’m sorry. I just want to keep you close for another minute or two” She squeezed me against her with a little more strength, making me groan softly.

“I mean, you could always just ask...” I complained giggling a little.

“I didn’t want to bother you when you still have a decision to make. I am just greedy and couldn’t hold back anymore, so I came to see you and broke into your house.” She said apologetically as she loosened her grip on me, and I moved back a little to look up at her.

“Well, it is your home after all. I just live here because I can’t get anything on my own…for the time being...” I sighed and looked down, suddenly feeling pathetic.

It was true, I wouldn’t have a roof above me if it wasn’t for Terry. I couldn’t really do much on my own, especially now. Maybe that’s why I was so determined to keep the whole stalker situation to myself.

“Oh, don’t be silly. This is YOUR house.” she emphasized as she cupped my cheek, and I instinctively leaned into it, until I suddenly noticed Greer was staring at us from the kitchen.

I cleared my throat and move away awkwardly. She looked at me confused, tilting her head at my sudden reaction. Then nodded to herself, as if she understood why I had done it.

I walked towards the kitchen, looking at Greer apologetically. She was smiling awkwardly. I’m sure she was trying to make it seem like it was all fine, and she didn’t mind, but I could see she was uncomfortable with it.

“Well, what brings you here…besides…wanting to see me?” I asked as I sat next to Greer, smiling at her shyly.

“I…know I shouldn’t put any pressure on you but…I just…” She seemed really nervous, and that was not really like her at all. Even Greer seemed to find it strange as I saw her tilting her head.

“If it’s about living with you, I really have no answer yet. It’s difficult, because I like you, and I think you’d be a really nice housemate...” I smiled at her, imagining how our life together would be like. Then I looked at Greer. I loved my life here with her, just as much as I could imagine I would get to love living with Terry. “But I also really like living…here.” I reached my hand towards Greer’s hand. She had her hand placed over her leg under the table, she was tightly keeping it in a fist, that immediately relaxed, as soon as my hand touched hers.

“I know kitten, I’m sorry. I just would really love having you around. But that’s not all I wanted to discuss with you. I also just wanted to see you. We haven’t seen each other in such a long time, I…just needed to see you...” She sat across and reached to hold onto my hand, which was resting over the table.

So here I was, holding hands with the two women I loved the most. And the two women that I just kept causing discomfort to.

All those feelings of guilt came back, and I had to let go of both of them.

“I’ve missed you too. So much…”

She looked at me and smiled.

“I’ll wait…as long as it takes.” She said confidently, looking at my side. For a moment, I thought she was looking at Greer…but I knew, that was impossible.

I looked at Greer, and she just smiled gently at me; then, I looked back at Terry. She was just staring past Greer, as if she was staring off into the distance…I felt so silly for thinking she was looking at Greer. Then, her eyes focused on me.

“Did you eat already?” I stood up and walked around the kitchen, looking in the pantry trying to think of what I could make before she even answered.

“Well, I had a couple of client meetings today, and it was a very busy day overall so…no.” She smiled looking at me with a joyful spark in her eyes, and I giggled.

“Then I shall feed you before you leave this place miss. Get yourself comfortable while I fix something up.” I slid my apron on and started to pull a bunch of ingredients out of the pantry, and the fridge.

I knew Terry liked pasta, so I was going to prepare my own version of it. I mean, the version I always ate whenever I felt like eating something that wasn’t packaged ramen noodles.

The water started to boil and I added some spices to it before putting the spaghetti in. While I was doing all that, I quickly glanced towards Terry to see if she was okay. She had comfortably settled on the couch and was apparently looking for a movie in the TV.

Greer was looking at me as usual. Her eyes just went wherever I went, and despite how much it used to bother me in the past, I felt happy to have her eyes on me, so I smiled at her; in that moment, Terry looked towards the kitchen, she tilted her head and then smiled at me. She probably thought I was smiling at her since she couldn’t see Greer.

After a minute or so, right when I was busy chopping some vegetables, Greer sneaked to my side and whispered: ‘Do you need help?’ almost breaking my concentration to the point I was about to cut myself and squealed.

Terry looked towards me, wide eyed and concerned; I just smiled at her apologetically.

“Sorry, I’m fine, it’s all okay!”

I turned towards Greer and gave her a scolding look. She smiled awkwardly and took my hand, inspecting closely on one side, and then the other, manipulating my fingers to make sure she could cover every inch, just to make sure I wasn’t hurt.

Her actions made me smile, I certainly was happy to have her back, and despite the dilemma I had to face, the joy of having my two best friends…my two only friends, here with me, filled my heart with a unique warmth.

“I’m okay silly.” I whispered so Terry couldn’t hear me.

“You can’t blame me for wanting to make sure you are!” She placed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand and smiled, making me smile back with her sweet actions.

“I know you just want me to be safe… Just give me a little more credit.” I chuckled as I saw her blushing apologetically. “It’s okay. I know you mean well, you always do. That’s why I lo…” I stopped myself before finishing and then turned my attention back to the cooking before she could demand any explanations. “Help me by stirring the spaghetti so it doesn’t get stuck to the pot.”

She didn’t make any questions and started to stir the spaghetti while I kept working on the veggies.

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Like someone was looking at me in an odd way, so I looked around. Terry was focused on the TV. So again…my imagination was probably playing tricks on me.

Once the spaghetti was cooked, I drained it and poured it in the pan with the sautéed veggies, adding some more spices and some grated cheese to give a little extra to the dish.

After a few minutes it was all ready, and I served a plate for me and one for Terry. I looked at Greer and tilted my head as I saw her looking at the food with desire. I always thought she didn’t eat because she was imaginary, but what if I imagined she ate?

I served a third plate, and Greer tilted her head looking at me with curiosity.

“I figured that if I imagine you can eat, then you’ll be able to...” I explained in a low voice.

The response I got from her was a small chuckle.

“That makes sense, actually. Thank you…but…Terry is here…wouldn’t it be weird?” She motioned towards the living room with her head, and her hair, that for the first time in…forever, was tied in a high pony tail, swayed in a very mesmerizing way.

“I guess you’re right. I mean, she seemed okay with it when I told her about you, but I guess we shouldn’t push it too much, so…maybe just a lil taste?” I said a second before getting some spaghetti on a fork and moving it towards her small, delicate lips.

She looked down at it and smiled shyly, then, just as shyly, she opened her mouth, and I carefully was able to introduce the fork in. She closed her mouth and I slid the fork out leaving the spaghetti in her mouth.

The whole time I looked at her in awe, happy that it seemed to be working. She could eat, that means, she wouldn’t be just staring at me next time I ate anything, she could actually join me, and I could share all sort of tasty thing with her. That small detail made me ridiculously happy and I squealed again, this time, with joy.

As expected, Terry looked towards me, and I panicked.

“Uh…dinner is ready, and it doesn’t taste terrible, so...I’m happy about that.” I wasn’t sure of why I was lying but…Oh well…

“Great! My stomach was starting to grumble!” She stood up and walked towards me, softly placing a kiss on my cheek before sitting at the kitchen table.

I placed a plate in front of her and one in the seat next to her, where I would sit. She looked at the third plate I had served, and left on the counter.

“I think you forgot something, kitten...”

As I felt a chill running down my back, Terry's suspicion filled gaze fell on the plate.