Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART THREE: NINA. [Not home]

As we got closer to home, I got more and more anxious. I couldn’t wait to get home and tell Greer what had happened, explain to her why I hadn’t come home in more than a day, when I had told her that I’d be out only a moment.

Terry drove me home. Lewis had to go back to the company, to make sure everyone was following the orders Terry had left for her absence, so Terry had to drive. And she drove like a mad man…or…woman, in this case.

We stopped at a pizza place and bought a big half Hawaiian (my favorite), half Classic Pepperoni (Terry’s favorite) pizza.

Terry’s nice Audi, smelled like pizza, and I was really hungry, so my stomach’s grumble broke the silence that had befallen in the car after we left the pizza place. And now I could feel my cheeks turning bright, like tomatoes.

“Sorry, I guess...not eating for a day makes you hungry...hehe...” I joked awkwardly. I couldn't believe how embarrassed I was feeling at that moment.

“It’s okay kitten, no need to be embarrassed. It’s understandable. After all, you really didn’t eat for an entire day, and a ‘lil bit more.” She smiled at me, without taking her eyes off the road.

She parked in the apartment complex’s parking lot, and stepped out, quickly running to open my door. I stepped outside and bent into the car to get the pizza box, carefully taking it out.

We both got into the elevator and just drove it up to my floor. And all the while, a strange sensation creeped inside me, slowly spreading throughout my body.

I couldn’t wait to see Greer, but I didn’t know how I’d be able to be with her while Terry was around.

We left the elevator and walked all the way to the end of the hall. Terry held the box while I took my keys and opened the white door…I was anxious and expectant to see Greer’s face, but nervous about having Terry there as well.

Maybe this was the perfect time to talk to Terry about Greer, and maybe, just maybe, Terry wouldn’t run away after calling me out on the craziness.

“I’m home!” I yelled as I opened the door, expecting Greer to be on the other side, or to peek from the room after she heard me.... But none of those things happened. Greer wasn’t waiting for me at the other side of the door, and she certainly didn’t peek from any of the rooms.

The anxiety slowly crawled under my skin…filling my whole body, making me tense. I stepped aside and invited Terry in.

“Do you have anyone here that I am not supposed to know about?” She chuckled, and I looked at her confused, tilting my head. “Because you yelled ‘I’m home’.”

“Oh, that…” I smiled awkwardly. “Just force of habit I guess...” I mumbled and closed the door, before walking past Terry.

She seemed confused, but didn’t press any further. She placed the pizza on the kitchen’s table and looked around the cabinets for plates, while I, paying no attention to what Terry was asking, walked, with worry, towards the bedroom.

I slowly walked in.

“Greer?” I whispered as I looked around.

The room was oddly dark. The curtains were closed, and there was absolutely no sound at all around me, except for the distant noises Terry was making in the kitchen.

I kept calling out, but there was no answer. I started to hyperventilate. She wasn’t there, and she obviously wasn’t in the living room, nor the kitchen. The only places left were the bathroom and the studio.

I ran towards the studio, not paying attention to Terry, who kept calling me. I needed to see Greer. He couldn’t be gone, not like this.

The studio was empty, as was the bathroom.

“Kitten!” Terry yelled.

She caught me, grabbed my arm as I was about to run outside the house and pulled me back in, closing the door.

“She’s gone…” I mumbled really low. Terry leaned towards me, looking at me with a worried expression “I’m sorry, I don’t…I don’t know what happened.”

I couldn’t tell her I was thinking of looking for an imaginary person in the street…and after I thought about it…it was ridiculous. If Greer was a part of my imagination, she would come back whenever I decided.

The question was…why wasn’t she here right now?

“It’s okay, maybe I should stay here for the night, and tomorrow, you should come with me” She sighed as she rubbed my arm and led me to the kitchen, helping me sit at the table.

“I can’t leave Terry…I…I still need time to think about it” I looked up at her, pleadingly.

I couldn’t leave, especially now that I had no idea where Greer was.

“Fine, but I’m staying here tonight, and maybe tomorrow. I am worried about you.” She said as she sat down in front of me.

And I believed her. Her expression showed just how worried she was about me. For once, I was grateful she showed worry and not…rejection towards my sudden act of craziness.

I was acting like…what everyone always said I was: plain crazy. And it wasn’t the best right now. It wouldn’t help me figure out why Greer wasn’t there.

There was a sudden and slight pressure at the base of my skull. Again, something was there, scratching, clawing, at the back of my mind. And it was starting to get very annoying.

I got distracted from it as Terry took a pizza slice and put it in my plate.

“You better eat before your stomach gets upset again.” She giggled and softly stroked my head after she moved her hand away from my plate.

I nodded and took a small bite, right from the tip of the pizza. I immediately felt better, as I chewed the cheesy, still warm, bread. But I couldn’t entirely get rid of the anxiety I felt about Greer’s disappearance.

After eating, she didn’t let me do anything at all, not even washing the dishes. She treated me like I had just recovered from a really serious disease, or had some sort of injury. To be honest, it made me feel helpless, and it also reminded me of the way Robin used to treat me back in college.

“Can I at least take a shower…on my own?” I had to add the last part as I saw how she started to walk towards the bathroom when I asked, as if she was decided to go in there with me and help me.

When she heard that, she stopped and after looking at me with a frown for a moment, she nodded.

“Fine, but if you need help with anything at all, and I mean ANYTHING…just yell and I’ll be there.” She replied, still frowning with worry.

I giggled and walked past her into the bathroom. A warm shower would certainly help me relax…at least a little bit. But for now, as the water ran down, and I waited outside for it to warm up a little, I couldn’t stop thinking about Greer and why she wasn’t there.

After taking off the clothes Terry had bought for me, and neatly placing them where they wouldn’t get wet, I stepped in the shower and sighed, throwing my head back as I felt the water make contact with my skin.

I couldn’t believe I had been out for an entire day and Terry had to take care of me all that time. And I especially couldn’t believe I was out for so long and I didn’t have a single memory of a dream…or anything...at all. I wasn’t very good at remembering my dreams, but you’d think that after dreaming for an entire day, you’d remember at least a bit. More than that, I felt there was something important that I had to remember about it, but it just didn’t come back at all. And that really made me upset.

After a few minutes under the warm water, and a lot of thinking about the events of the day, I came to a realization: I had never brought anyone home. It had only been me this entire time, and since I was alone, Greer had to be there with me to keep me company. That’s why I created him after all. And Terry was there now, so maybe, because I wasn’t lonely right now, Greer wouldn’t come out.

That had to be it, right? Greer wasn’t there because I wasn’t alone. He’d come back once Terry left. I was convinced, or at least…I was trying to convince myself of that. It made sense that this was the way things worked.

I felt a little less anxious with that answer, but now I felt guilty. Even if Greer wasn’t real, this was very unfair to him. I felt like I was only using him, and that really made me feel like a terrible person.

When I came out of the bathroom, Terry wasn’t in sight, so I ran towards my room and closed the door. I had forgotten to take clothes to change into, or at least clean underwear to put on before putting back on what she had bought. I felt really dumb as I realized that when I came out of the shower.

I quickly searched for some underwear in my drawers and as it seemed to be night outside already, I decided to change into my pajamas. I slid into some shorts and a plain black tank top. Then, after brushing my hair and applying all the products I usually applied before bed, I opened the door and peeked outside.

Terry was sitting on the sofa. Well, it was more like…she was lying on it. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. Her breathing was slow and deep. She must’ve been taking care of me the entire day and probably didn’t sleep much due to the worry.

“Terry, wake up…” I whispered softly as I sat next to her, tapping gently on her shoulder.

I wanted to let her rest, but if she kept sleeping on the couch, like that, she would be very sore when she woke.

“Five more minutes, kitten.” She replied with a small groan as she turned away.

“At least let me take you to bed, so you can actually lay down.” I got up and grabbed her hand, trying to pull her up.

It didn’t work, in fact, the cards were reversed, since she managed to pull me down towards her, making me lose balance and I fell almost on her lap. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a very gentle squeeze.

I felt a warmth spreading on my face, making my cheeks slowly redden.