Not Real. Not Imaginary.

PART THREE: NINA. [Back home]

“Is something wrong, kitten?” She asked as she noticed I wasn’t moving at all.

“I…yes…it’s okay, I’ll be right back...” I answered elusively as I hurried towards my room.

My heart was pounding really fast inside my chest, like it couldn’t wait to see that face again. I felt it beating painfully against my ribcage, as if it wanted to escape from my chest just to meet up with Greer.

I peeked inside and found her by the window, looking at the bed with a sad expression. As soon as she noticed my presence, she looked in my direction and a half smile curved her delicate and fine lips.

“Greer…” I could feel the warm tears flooding my eyes, threatening to overflow and roll down my cheeks at any moment.

“Hello stranger…” She replied.

I couldn’t stop myself from jumping over the bed to hold her in my arms.

“Don’t ever leave me again. I was worried sick...” I nagged her, as my tears fell on her shoulder, leaving their print over her white shirt.

“I won’t…unless you lock me again…” She replied, and I pulled away and looked at her confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh…you still can’t remember anything that happens in The Prism…apparently.” She mumbled to herself, and I tilted my head, looking at her with curiosity.

“You’re being weird…and I love it… I missed you so much…oh, so much!” She looked at the undone bed and then looked at something, or I should say, someone, behind me.

When I followed her gaze, I saw Terry was standing in front of the room, looking at me with curiosity, and at that moment, I thought she would leave, after seeing me talking to myself, after witnessing just how crazy I was.... Instead, she walked in and smiled at me.

“Ice cream will melt kitten, let’s go.”

I nodded and climbed down from bed.

When I passed in front of her, I grabbed Greer's hand, and pulled her out the room with me. I just didn’t want her to be away, I was afraid she would disappear again….

I took the small bowl of ice cream Terry had prepared for me, and then walked towards the sofa, making sure Greer sat at my side, as close as possible, then entwining my arm with hers.

I thought for sure, Terry would find my behavior odd, but she seemed to either not notice, or to not care about it. And still, I couldn’t shake the small thorn of fear inside me, that thought she might decide I was crazy and leave at any minute.

Greer sighed at my side as Terry sat next to me, in the free space, and pulled me in, making me snuggle against her. It almost seemed like Terry’s actions had made her upset, and it was honestly, slightly amusing.

“Well, this is certainly nice, isn’t it kitten?” Her tone was teasing and playful. It made me blush slightly, feeling embarrassed in front of Greer, and also…guilty?

“Y-yes…it…is nice...” I replied shyly as she squeezed me possessively against her body.

“You’re very nice…” She added then as she kissed my cheek.

I could feel Greer shifting awkwardly on her seat, so I looked at her. She was looking directly ahead, at the TV screen. It was off, so you could see our reflection in it, and then it just suddenly hit me…I was between two people I loved.

I felt guilty and restless as I realized, I wanted these two people in my life forever, and I didn’t want to let go of any of them both. It was selfish, but I couldn’t see my life without them. That made me feel pathetic…I was so dependent on them, that I kept them close to me without actually considering how they felt about me, or each other…even if Greer was…not real…she still had feelings, it was obvious, and Terry…how would she feel if I told her I loved this imaginary friend, just as much as I loved her?

The rest of the evening was extremely awkward and I wasn’t sure of what to do, or how to act with both, Greer and Terry in the same place. I just answered shyly whenever Terry demanded my attention, and kept a guilty silence the rest of the time.

“Well…” I finally spoke when my eyes started tearing with sleepiness “I think it’s time to sleep…again…let’s just…get our sleeping schedules back to normal…”

Both Terry and Greer looked at me with curiosity.

“I mean…our sleeping schedule has been off…hasn’t it?” I suddenly felt nervous as they both just watched me for a moment.

Greer seemed like she wanted to say something, but at the same time, had decided to stay silent, for now. Meanwhile, Terry spoke up:

“Well, I do agree that you need some more rest, but I can’t stay with you tonight kitten.” She sounded a little disappointed and annoyed. On the other hand, Greer sighed with relief.

“Oh, well…I understand, you have a business to run. It’s completely fine. And actually, I’m sorry I have been keeping you away for this long.” I apologized as I stood up, then stretched, pushing out a yawn as I did.

“There is nothing to apologize for, I wanted to be with you, I’d stay longer if I could, believe me.” She got up as well and gently cupped my cheek, leaning her forehead against mine.

“We can always see each other whenever you have time...”

“Yeah, or…if you decide to come live with me…” She chuckled as I looked at her, wide eyed. “I’m not pressuring you…just reminding you.” She said as she walked towards the door, and I instinctively followed her.

“I know…I just hadn’t really considered it yet…” I said shyly as I held her hand in front of the door, as a sort of goodbye.

“It’s understandable, I guess. If you’re not ready yet, I really understand; but whenever you’re ready, give it a thought…okay kitten?” She placed a kiss at the top of my head and opened the door.

The creaking sound of the door masked slightly a gasp from Greer, and Terry stopped for a moment. As she did, I caught a glimpse of a smile on her face, a smile I hadn’t seen so far. And I couldn’t help but to wonder if she had heard Greer.

I immediately discarded the possibility, and waved back at her as she waved goodbye while closing the door behind her.

“Well…that was awkward…” said Greer, oddly cheerful as soon as the door closed.

“You think so?” I chuckled and ran towards her, almost pouncing on her as she was still sitting on the sofa.

“She was practically devouring you whole with her eyes…” I blushed at those words and covered my face.

“Greer!”

She chuckled slightly and started to play with my hair as I snuggled against her petite frame.

“I’m just telling the truth...that’s what I saw.” She sighed sadly, but kept smiling, and that confused me.

“You don’t like Terry very much, huh?” I gently touched the tip of her nose with my finger, and she smiled.

“Oops...I guess I am really bad at hiding it…” She chuckled and I gently tucked her hair behind her ear, then caressed her cheek.

“I’m just happy to have you back right now.”

“Me too…” She looked hesitant as she wrapped her arm around me. “Nina…we have to talk about your...problem.”

I felt a cold sweat thinly coating my forehead and back as soon as Greer said those words…I wasn’t ready to face that problem just yet. And also…I couldn't remember telling her in this short while she had been back, so how could she know…?

“W-what do you mean?” I looked up at her, wondering how she could possibly know. Maybe she actually was there, and I just couldn’t see her….

“Well, are you considering moving in with…her?” She looked towards the door with a little hint of spite.

“Oh...that problem…” I replied with relief, and noticed Greer looking at me with curiosity, so before she could ask anything, I added: “well, I don’t know…she’s really nice, and I have never seen her place, but knowing her, it will most likely be really, really nice. I kinda like to be here on my own…but maybe…it’s time to change that at last.”

After the way Terry had acted today, even after I told her about Greer, and even after she saw me interact with her, I didn’t have a doubt that she actually was a nice person, and that she in fact wanted me to be with her…for some reason....

“So, you do like her…” Greer sounded a little sad, and I looked up to see her staring at the TV with an absent and longing gaze. “You seemed pretty close just a moment ago…”

“Y-yeah…I know…I mean… I don’t know if I like her like that…yet…I feel like I could like her like that…and…” I felt my cheeks lighting up as I remembered the kiss at the skate ring.

“And…?” Greer looked at me, tilting her head, expectant, and urging me with a soft squeeze to continue with what I was trying to say.

“Well, I do like her. And she is so nice. She didn’t run away; she didn’t make fun of me when I talked to her about you. And I’m sure she saw me talking to you…which, for her, it must’ve looked like I was talking to myself…and even after that, she kept acting the same way, and being as nice as ever.”

I was really impressed. Through all of my life, every person that had known about my situation, had pushed me aside and treated me like a mental patient…actually worse…since at least mental patients are treated with a little respect (I hope). And here she had witnessed my craziness…and she stood by my side….

“Just be careful Nina…I don’t think this is a decision you should make so lightly…” Greer was always so genuinely concerned, and her concerned face was absolutely adorable. At that moment, I really wanted to grab her face and pull her towards me to join my lips with hers….

I had no idea where that thought had come from. It completely took me off guard, making me jump out of the sofa and run to the bathroom in a panic.

“I’ll be right back!” I excused myself as I saw Greer’s confused stare, and then closed the door behind me.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were completely red and I looked flustered. This whole day had been a complete roller coaster for me, full of unexpected events and I didn’t know how much more of it I could take.

I had some things to deal with already: the stalker, Terry’s kiss, her proposal, and now…I had to add whatever was happening between me and Greer. I shook my head and splashed my face with some fresh water from the tap.

I had just thought about kissing Greer…right after kissing Terry…AND ENJOYING IT. I clearly liked Terry as something more than a friend…so why was I thinking about kissing Greer?