The Hole In My Soul

Letter, Roses And Naive Little Heart

The next day, I don’t know what came over me.

I must have tried on at least ten different dresses — blue, peach, yellow… none felt right. And then finally, I stood in front of the mirror in a simple white knee-length dress with tiny red roses scattered all over it. For a change, I even put on some makeup — a stroke of kajal, a hint of lip tint, a little blush. It felt strange, like I was trying too hard, like I was dressing for someone. And deep down, I knew that someone was Ethan.

Now while writing these memories down, I can’t help but smile at my own innocence. How easily I let feelings take over, how quickly I started liking someone I barely knew. I didn’t give him a proper chance to chase me, to even know me… and here I was, falling into a world of daydreams, a world I had built myself.

When I reached college, as expected, Nishitha was waiting by the gate.

She spotted me from afar and before I could even greet her, she whistled.

"What’s up with you, Mili? You look like a dream today! What’s with the glow? Where were you yesterday? Don’t tell me you went on a date and scored on the first one — is that why you're shining like a new coin?”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the blush that crept up my cheeks.

Don’t take Nishitha the wrong way. She isn’t one of those mean girls — she just loves pulling my leg. She’s my partner in crime, the one who teases you, scolds you, and hugs you tight all at once.

I gave her a sly smile and whispered, “Free period. Library garden bench. I’ll tell you everything.”

She clapped her hands in excitement like a child who found hidden chocolate.

After that, I went to class, but truthfully, my mind was elsewhere. In the poetry book, in Ethan’s smile, in that one poem I had read under the tree. I kept smiling to myself like a fool when suddenly, I heard my name.

"Miss Mili. Will you please tell us the summary of Romeo and Juliet, since you’ve been so thoughtful to skip your assignment?”

I froze for a second.

Yes — I had completely forgotten about the assignment. It had slipped from my mind like sand through fingers. But thankfully, I’m a bookworm, and if there’s one story I’ve read more than once, it’s Romeo and Juliet.

I stood up, cleared my throat, and spoke.

"Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by William Shakespeare, about two young lovers from rival families in Verona — the Montagues and the Capulets. Despite the hatred between their families, they fall deeply in love. Their love story is intense, passionate, and tragic. Secretly married by Friar Laurence, they try to find a way to be together, but a series of misunderstandings, pride, and fate leads to their untimely deaths. They die believing they can’t live without one another, and their deaths finally end the long-standing feud between their families."

The professor raised his brows and nodded.

“Good. Now, submit it tomorrow in writing.”

I sat down, my heart still racing — not from fear, but from the thoughts that were still floating in my head.

After class, I rushed to the garden, took out the book Ethan gave me — Letters To An Unknown Love by Meera Solis. And I opened a random page.

"I did not look for you in the crowd,

but the moment our eyes met,

the noise faded,

and it was as though my heart remembered a name

I had never learned."

I sighed, already in love with this book. And somewhere, in the back of my heart, I felt like these were Ethan’s feelings for me.

So instead of going to my next class, I sat under the same old tree where I’d read it before, and opened more pages.

Another one read:

"You weren’t written in the stars for me,

yet here you are —

a beautiful accident,

a poem the universe decided to write

in the middle of my ordinary life."

It felt dreamy. Like a soft whisper you hear in a crowded room and can’t forget.

And I kept reading.

"Some people arrive like music,

some like thunderstorms,

but you —

you arrived like a letter I never posted,

and yet was read by the one it was meant for."

I lost track of time.

I lost track of lectures.

I lost track of reality.

And as the sky turned a softer shade of gold, I smiled to myself — for the first time, maybe, believing in destiny. Or in poetry. Or maybe just in the magic of letters meant for unknown loves.