Her exiled Gamma

A pawn and a Queen

*Kiona*

While our horses plod along the riding path in the park, I continually steal glances at Castor on

the other side of Isadora. Propriety dictates his sister serve as a barrier between the two of us, yet I am disappointed he isn't nearer to me, that conversing with him here will not be the intimate encounter it had been in the garden, when for the briefest of moments, I thought perhaps he was contemplating kissing me. For the briefest of

moments, I had wanted him to.

He sits on a horse well. Whenever a she-wolf passes by, he tips his hat while giving her a smile certain to leave her a little unsteady in the saddle. I have never noticed he has such a charmingly wicked smile that promises fun and adventure. Might all the teasing I had so abhorred be an innocuous sort of flirting ? His nature is not to take anything seriously …or so I had thought.

But based on what I have observed since coming to spend several days with Isadora, perhaps all his lightheartedness is merely like ivy that climbs ever higher to hide a wall behind which a person could feel safe.

In the garden, we had spoken longer than we ever have before, and I had enjoyed it. More than that, I had been a little cross with Isadora for interrupting, for bringing a halt to the conversation that had revealed a man who believes a woman should be more than an ornament.

I sat there mesmerized as he had laid out what he wants in a wife as though he has given it intense and thorough consideration. I would have thought that he had not given it a single minute of deliberation. He cares about a woman's heart and soul. He wants her involved in his life, as a part of it. Not on the periphery. Not as an afterthought.

While it is highly unlikely that he was doing so, Castor could have been describing me. I don’t want to examine why I hoped he had been, why I had thought ‘If only you would gain a title’. Why my heart had seemed to shrink and expand at the same time. For the span of our time in the garden I had felt that he truly saw me. Understood my need not to be overlooked but to be valued not for my physical attributes but for my mind, my heart, my very soul.

Something inside me had twisted and turned, bunched up and unfurled, until I had seen him in a very different light. He is far more complicated than I had ever imagined, and I want to unravel the threads in order to more thoroughly examine all the various shades that make him who he is. I am beginning to think bits of silver and gold are woven through the tapestry that comprises Castor Softpaw.

“Look steady, Kitty”. Isadora says. “I do believe that's the Alpha of Brinsley headed our way”.

I have been giving so much examination to our time in the garden and watching Castor now that I have hardly noticed my surroundings, but, yes, indeed that is in fact the Alpha trotting toward us with such smooth movements that he and the horse seem as one. Shouldn't my heart speed up with the prospect of speaking with him ? Shouldn't I care that the man I hoped to marry is approaching ? Shouldn't I want to unravel his tapestry ?

We bring our horses to a halt just before he reaches us. His gaze sweps over us before landing on Castor. “Good afternoon, sir”.

Castor tips his head slightly. “My Alpha. Allow me the honor of introducing my sister, Miss Isadora, and her dear friend, Miss Kiona Surefoot".

He removes his silk hat, black as a raven's wing, from his head. "Ladies. I understand congratulations are in order, Miss Isadora. Chad is indeed a fortunate man”.

"Thank you, my Alpha”. She says softly.

Then he is studying me, as though I am a puzzle in need of deciphering. “Miss Kiona, are you spoken for ?”

“That's a rather impertinent question". I reply.

“But it gets to the heart of things, does it not ?” He points out.

Out of the corner of my eye, I detect Castor stiffening, and I wonder exactly how he might have garnered the information about the Alpha's preferences in a wife. “I presently have no suitor”.

He doesn’t need to know that I have never had a suitor. Oh, a few gentlemen had flirted now and then, but I have encouraged none of them because I found none to my liking.

His gaze darts to Castor, then back to me, and I can’t help but believe he is assessing both of us, striving to decipher a mystery. “Then I shall be receiving a letter from you, in the near future, sometime before my ball”.

“To be honest, I haven't yet decided”. I mumble.

“Oh, I think you have”. He says with a smile.

Arrogant cad. “I do hope, my Alpha, that you do not intend to tell your wife what she thinks and what decisions she has made”.

“If she is in need of being told, I shall do so. Have you not heard that a husband tells his wife her opinion on matters ?" He simply says.

Is he jesting ? I can’t be sure. “Why would you want a woman who is unable to think for herself ?”

“Why would I want one who might prove to be contrary ?" He shoots back.

“For the challenge of it". Castor interjects.

The Alpha's brow furrows deeply as he glowers at Castor. “I have enough challenges without adding one more”.

“But this one would be much more pleasant. You wouldn't be able to accuse her of being dull. Would you not experience an anticipated excitement in not knowing what she might say next ?” Castor asks.

Is he talking about me ? Does he find me challenging ? Does he look forward to learning what I might say or do, next ? I suddenly feel like her world has gone topsy-turvy. Is he complimenting me ?

"You make an interesting point". The Alpha's attention swings back to me. His focus is so intense, it appears the man does nothing in half measures. “What say you, Miss Kiona ? Would you ensure my days were never dull ?”

"Your days as well as your evenings”. I say holding his gaze.

Castor's gelding gives a little start, a snort, a sidestep and he quickly brings the horse under control. The Alpha has gone completely still, except for those assessing eyes of his that run the length of me, as though I have been hiding in moonlight and have suddenly stepped into the sunlight, giving him a clearer view of me.

"I'm quite skilled at reading animatedly”. I continue. "In order to bring the story to life. My father always compliments me on my dynamic delivery”.

“Reading”. He clears his throat. “Of course, that is what you were referring to”.

What else ? Good Goddess. Had he thought I was referring to the bedding ? Had Castor as well ? Had my words startled him, causing him to unsettle his horse ?

“I can attest to the fact that Miss Kiona would be a feather in any man's cap”. Isadora says

cheerilee.

“Indeed”. The Alpha never takes his gaze from me. “Although, I daresay it remains to be seen if the Alpha will be a feather in any lady's cap”.

I can’t help but challenge him. “Perhaps, my Alpha, you should have described more about yourself in your announcement so a she-wolf might be assured that she did indeed wish to pen a letter to you”.

His gaze intensifies. “I would not have thought a she-wolf would care for anything other than the title”.

“I'm certain that assessment would apply to some, but not all”. I admit.

"It doesn't apply to Miss Kiona”. Castor says. “She is not so shallow as all that”.

The Alpha looks at me. "Is she not ?”

“No, my Alpha, she is not”. A curtness in his tone has the Alpha darting a quick glance Castor's way before settling his gaze back on me.

“Tell me, Miss Kiona, do you play chess ?” He asks.

“I do, my Alpha. Would you prefer it to my reading aloud in the evening ?” I ask.

He looks actually interested now. “That is as yet to be determined. However, I am curious. Which piece do you deem most important ?”

Is this some sort of maneuver to gauge my intelligence ? “The Queen”.

“The pawn”. The Alpha retords.

“But the queen can move in any direction”. I shoot back.

A hint of a smile graces his lips. "You would argue with me ?”

“If I thought you were wrong. But I also give you leave to make your case”. I tell him.

“I so appreciate your indulgence”. His tone implies that perhaps he doesn’t. “I will give you that the queen is the most powerful, but not the most important. The pawn is key to any good strategy. However, because it is a small piece and there are so many of them, it is often ignored. Much like second sons, I find it".

I look at him. “Are you implying that your younger brother is more important than you ?”

"Without doubt. My father would have sacrificed him in a heartbeat to keep me safe. Which made him critical to my well-being. Never overlook the pawn”. He says.

"Would you sacrifice your brother ?” I ask.

“I pray I am never in a position to find out”. He turns his attention to Castor. “I hope to see you at the tables in the near future, good sit. I owe you a drubbing”. He tips his hat. “Ladies”.

As he begins to ride past me, he stops. “Miss Kiona, be certain to put a note in your letter that you were the argumentative wench I met at the park, so I give your words a bit more weight”.

“I didn't think you liked argumentative wenches but preferred quiet ones”. I point out.

With a bit of triumph, he looks at Castor as though he now knew for whom he had made inquiries. “Perhaps you will convince me I have misjudged what I like”.

After he has loped away, and is beyond hearing distance, Isadora gives a small squeal that unsettles the horses and causes each to sidestep. “I do believe he was flirting with you”.

“Was he ?” I had found him rather cantankerous.

I am also bothered that my excitement at the prospect that he might have been flirting with me pales when compared with Isadora's.

“Without question. What do you say, Castor ?” She asks.

“Most assuredly”. He seems no happier about it than I am.

“Oh, Kitty, I think meeting him today is fortuitous and will give you a leg up in the competition”. Isadora reaches across and squeezes my hand. “I do believe you are going to find yourself the next Luna of Brinsley”.

“I think you give too much credence to a few passing words. Why would he want a woman almost on the shelf rather than a girl who has just entered the ballroom ?" I mumble.

She smiles. “He strikes me as someone who would prefer maturity over giddiness”.

But he also prefers a woman who speaks his mind and not her own. Could I hold my tongue ?

When we set Our horses back into motion, Castor skirts around Isadora until he is riding beside me. “Were you intentionally trying to ruin your chances with him ?”

He sounds truly cross, as though I had personally attacked him, more like the Castor before Our conversation in the garden than the one during. “Why should you care ?”

“Because I went to a great deal of inconvenience for you. His opinion of me is on the line”. He says.

“Did you tell him you were making inquiries on my behalf ?” I ask.

He sighs. “Of course not. I didn't even tell him I would be advising anyone on what to write to him. I made it sound as though I was merely curious about his methods. But it appears he might have guessed. He had that arrogance about him, so cocksure that he'd figured it out”.

“I noticed that. And you are correct. I owe you. I should have been more receptive to his overtures, but should I not be who I am ?”'

“You can show him who you are after you wed”. He mumbles.

I laugh. “That is guaranteed to create misery for both the Alpha and me. We may never have a grand love, but we can at least have an honest relationship. I cannot go into a marriage with anything less".

“Sometimes sacrifices must be made in order to gain what we want”. He points out.

What does he know of sacrifices ? If I join him tonight, perhaps I will ask. While I am leaning very much toward meeting him after everyone retires, I haven’t made a definite decision. It requires me to place an awful lot of faith and trust in him.

“What are you two whispering about ?” Isadora asks.

“Just discussing her impression of the Alpha”. Castor offers.

“I thought he seemed rather nice”. Isadora says. “What is your impression of him, Kitty ?”

I release a sigh. “A bit disappointed that he didn't remember meeting me”.

“Have you met him before ?” Castor asks, sounding none too pleased with the information.

I glance over at him. “Two years ago, at a ball. He even danced with me”.

"You must be mistaken. He can't have forgotten you if he danced with you”. He says.

“Would you never forget me if you danced with me ?” I ask.

“I suppose I'm going to find out”. He grumbles, his tone reflecting a bit of resignation.

What if I never forget what it is like to dance with him ?