Mine Forevermore

Kabanata 8

May kaagaw

"Look at you." I look at Eloise in so much dissapointment. "You came here with me and yet you read your book while eating in front of me. Seriously, Eloise?" I said after she joined me here in the cafeteria.

Ayan na naman siya. Nagbabasa na naman kahit kumakain! I invited her to eat with me for our lunch but her attention was focused more on her book and even do a multi task! I can't believe her! She's now eating while reading in front of me and worst not even made a conversation so we can talk!

"I think you love that book more than me." Dagdag ko.

Halos mabugahan niya ang libro dahil sa sinabi ko. Her eyes widened as she looked at me. Umirap ako. Natawa naman siya sa akin.

"Hindi ka na nahiya sa akin. I'm here in front of you and yet your not talking to me. How rude." sambit ko.

"Why don't you try to read a w*****d book so you'll find out why I'm like this." She replied.

Nakakunot kong sinulyapan ang libro niya. Ako magbabasa niyan? For what? Ano naman ang maitutulong sa akin niyan? Baka ma-stress lang ako sa content ng book niya. Isa pa, I notice that it has a negative impact on her. She doesn't even have time to me and doesn't respect our food.

Umirap ako. "No way. Masayang lang oras ko diyan. Kapag nagbabasa dapat may disiplina ka. Kung kakain ka, kumain ka na muna bago magbasa."

Natigilan siya sa pagbabasa at tuluyan ng binitawan ang kanyang hawak na libro. She tilted her head as she stared at me. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Wait. Parang may napapansin ako sa'yo." Aniya.

"What?"

Naguguluhan ko siyang tiningnan. Bakit? Ano bang napapansin niya sa akin? Wala naman akong napapansin sa sarili ko.

Nanliliit ang mga mata niya. "You sound like a preacher, you weren't like this before. You always don't care about the people around you. So why meddle with it now?"

Medyo natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Me, being a preacher, and me caring about people? Hindi ko kaylan man napansin iyon sa aking sarili kaya medyo nagugulat ako sa sinasabi ni Eloise.

"Kung ito pala ang epekto ng break-up ninyo ni Henry. Then I can say that your better without him." She added. My forehead furrowed more.

Ano bang sinasabi niya? I don't get her.

"What are you trying to say?" Nalilitong tanong ko.

She pointed out to me. "Look at you. Look what has changed."

She then started to count using her fingers. "You have time with me now, you learn to care about other people. Naalala mo nung kinuwento mo sa akin? Sinugod ka ng ex ni Henry but then you did not wear your b***h face on. You even gave her an advice. Then, you don't swear too much anymore, your not that hot headed anymore. I don't even saw you pick a fight with anyone for the past week." ngumiti siya at inilahad ang kamay. "Isn't that a good sign? You are currently changing for the better." Natutuwang aniya.

Samantalang unti unti nang naging matalim ang tingin ko kahit nakuha na ngayon ang punto niya.

I admit, marami akong nakakaway na babae at hindi din naman ako nagpapatalo. Yes, madalas akong magmura, lalo na kapag magkasama kami ni Henry, Yes, I didn't b***h fight with Henry's ex, which is...hindi ko din alam kung bakit. Pero ang hindi ko matanggap ay ang sinabi niyang nagbago ako at...na wala daw akong time sa kanya? Am I that kind of a friend to her? Kasi ako, hindi ko alam na ganun ako sa kanya.

"Teka lang, what is it again? Me? have no time for you? Seriously?" Sarkastikong sambit ko at mariin siyang tiningnan. "At anong nagbago ang sinasabi mo diyan? I'm still the same." Sagot ko habang nakakunot ang noo.

Ngumuso siya. "What I mean is noon. Wala ka naman talagang time sa akin nung kayo pa ni Henry. You're always with him, remember?" Nagsimula ulit siyang mag count sa kanyang daliri. "Every morning, Every meal time, every after class, siguro kahit every night ay magkatext din kayo." aniya at napailing.

Napakurap-kurap ako sa sinabi niya. I admit. Medyo...may punto nga siya. Ganuon nga kami ni Henry nuon. Well...hindi ko din alam kung bakit. Pero kami talaga ni Henry ang laging magkasama. Though, medyo nairita din ako sa mga sinabi ni Eloise. Maybe it's because he brought Henry's name again and our memories back together, kaya sa huli ay iritado ko siyang tiningnan.

Kaylangan niya ba talagang ungkatin ang nakaraan?

Itinuro niya ako at nagtaas ang kilay. "See? Natahimik ka din. Kasi tama ako."

"Then what about me not being a war freak and hot headed?" Matalim nang tanong ko.

I was bothered by it. Baka makita ng ibang Tao ang bagay na iyan bilang kahinaan ko. Inaamin ko, I don't want to look soft and weak infront of everyone's eyes. Because when that happens, it will be easy for them to oppress me, to bully me, and to pick a fight with me, so I decided to look fearsome than being good. In short, it was my defense mechanism.

"Bakit, meron ba? Wala ka naman talagang nakakaway nitong mga nakaraan. At kung hot headed ka, malamang, marami ka ng nakaaway ngayon. Ikaw pa! Your words are too sharp to make everyone mad."

She looked back at the book again as she sipped the straw of her juice. Umirap naman ako. Iritado na ngayon.

If it's really true that I'm being soft these past few days. Then I need to bring that bad side of me again, so I can make everyone feel intimidated.

I sighed. Hindi na ako kumibo hanggang sa matapos kaming kumain. Hinayaan ko na din siya sa ginagawa niya. Ng mapansin niya ang katahimikan ko ay ilang beses niya akong tinanong kung ayus lang ba ako, pero iniirapan ko lang siya. I wanted to take my revenge by avoiding her question everytime she asked if I was okay. Makabawi man lang sa mga ginawa niyang rejection sa akin ng mga nakaraan sa tuwing nagpapasama ako.

After class, I went to the gymnasium to watch the basketball game. This time, Appolo's team has a new opponent.

I sat on the bench while Eloise sat next to me. I glanced at her and saw her pouting. I look at her hand and saw that she's not holding her book. Ngumisi ako. Na-guilty siguro sa mga sinabi ko sa kanya pati nadin sa mga sinabi niya sa akin, kaya tuluyan ng binitawan ang libro.

Maybe I'm wrong. I think she loves me more that her books.

I look back at the court. The game was already starting but my forehead furrowed when I saw the score board. Their opponents score was a little bit ahead than Appolo's team.

Ano kayang nangyari? I glanced at the other team and saw that they were all smiling now. Kita ang tuwa na nalamangan nila ang team nila Appolo. I notice that while watching the game I saw that they were all serious. Walang dayaan ang nangyayari. Sadyang magaling lang ang mga nasa kabilang team, especially the man with the number 0 written on his jersey shirt.

Inilapit ko ang ulo ko kay Eloise habang nanatili ang tingin sa lalaki. "Who is that man? Yang number 0?" I asked.

Bigla ay naging attentive siya. Nakangiti siyang sumagot. "Napansin mo din pala? That's Chris Villareal. Isn't he handsome? He's good at basketball and smart too."

I look back again at the man we were talking about. She's right. He got my attention because of he's look, but more than that he's really good at playing basketball.

"They're going to loose this game." Tukoy ko sa team ni Appolo ng mapansin ang sitwasyon ng laro. "Because of him." I added. Tukoy ko sa lalaking naka number 0 na jersey shirt.

"Yeah. Idadag pa na nasa kanila din si Healer." Tukoy niya sa ka-batch namin na gwapo at magaling din sa basketball. "Wala din kasi si Hero, sayang. It will be more interesting to watched if Hero and Healer is both on a different team." Tukoy niya naman sa nakakatandang kapatid ni Healer. Si Hero na ka-batch nila Appolo.

Randomized kasi ang nasa basketball ngayon kaya magkakahalo ang grade level. Lower year man o higher year.

"Bakit mo pala natanong? Crush mo?" Biglang tanong niya at nginisian ako.

I shook my head and grinned. Hindi porket gwapo at magaling ay crush ko na.

"Nope. He just got my attention so I asked." Pagsasatinig ko.

Ngumuso siya. "Maraming may gusto diyan kasi mabait pero may nagsasabi na babaero din daw." tukoy niya kay Chris Villareal. "I don't know who to believe, I don't even know which of the rumors were true."

"If it's a rumors, then you shouldn't believe it at all." Sagot ko na tinanguan naman niya.

I looked back at the court again. The boy name Chris smiled at his team after he got a 3 points shot. His team run to him and tapped his shoulder while some made a high-five. I smirked.

Maraming mahuhulog kung ganyan ka-attractive ang isang lalaki. Yung malayo palang ay napapansin mo na. But then...I look back at Appolo and saw him looking at me!...I smirked. I'm interested with someone else.

Himala at tiningnan niya ako. He was holding both of his waists while brows in forrow, he glanced at the other team. When he looked back at me, I smiled and waved at him, but I lost my smile when he only glared at me.

Suplado ng husky na 'to!

"Go Appolo! Kaya pa yan!" Sigaw ng isang babae.

Napabaling ako sa sumigaw sa kanang bahagi ng bleacher. Matalim ko iyong tiningnan.

I often see her and her chipmunks here whenever Appolo has a basketball game. I also notice that...she likes him. Halata naman sa kilos at pananalita nung mga nakaraan. Tss. As if naman papansinin siya niyan. Suplado masyado, arogante. For sure kahit sa babae, mapili din.

Though, these past few days, I notice that he's just being polite and kind to Charlotte, just like how he cared for me the other day. Pero, I don't see him feel the same thing to Charlotte. He either wanted to help her or flirt with her, that's all. Because, if he really likes her, he will not refuse to meet her, so they can see each other and tutor her. For sure, even if Appolo is busy, he will find a way for them to meet up so he can help her with her supposed to be "assignment" excuse. Tss. Assignment daw.

Ngumisi ako at binalingan muli ang court, pero unti unti ding nawala ngisi ko ng may maalala. Tumalim ang mga mata ko habang sinusundan ng tingin si Appolo sa court.

Still! he give her false hope by exchanging their numbers! Tss.

Paasa din pala ang husky na 'to!

Narinig ko ang matunog na ngisi ni Eloise sa tabi ko. Dahilan para iritado ko siyang lingunin.

"Hayst. She's crazy over him. Laging present sa game." Aniya habang nakatingin sa banda nila Charlotte bago niya ako binalingan. "Mukang may kaagaw ka na ngayon." Nakangising sambit niya.

Natawa ako sa sinabi ni Eloise. "I don't even consider her as my rival." Sagot ko pero pinagtaasan niya lang ako ng kilay. "Besides, this isn't a competition. There's no competition at all. I'm just curious, so I'm here." I shrugged.

Mas lalong tumaas ang kilay niya. Tila hindi kumbinsido sa sinabi ko. "Sure? You're not affected?" May pagdududa sa tuno na tanong niya.

I almost laughed at what she said. "Why would I? I don't even like him. He just got my attention, but that doesn't mean I like him." Sagot ko.

She nooded then turned her eyes on the court while I do the same. Nangunot nga lang ang noo. The game is over. The team of the named Chris won. Lumapit pa mismo si Appolo kay Chris at tahimik na tumango at nakipagkamayan dito samantalang malaki naman ang ngiti ni Chris.

Appolo turned his gaze to us and started to walk to the bleachers. Natigilan nga lang ng salubungin siya ni Charlotte. I could see the shock in Appolo's eyes. Lumapit si Charlotte sa kanya at kumapit sa braso nito habang nag-uusap sila. Appolo smiled and nooded to her.

I thought he didn't like her pero mukhang nagpakipot lang pala nung isang araw.

"Let's go." Malamig na sambit ko kay Eloise saka tumayo. Hindi na siya hinayaan na mag tanong.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng sasakyan ng magkasalubong ang kilay.

"Kumusta ang klase ma'am." Nakangiting tanong ni Kuya Frank.

Sa sobrang daldal niya ay nalaman ko kung ano ang tunay niyang pangalan, that's why I adress him now as Kuya Frank. Mas okay na din, dahil hindi ako sanay pag Manong. Masyadong matanda pakinggan.

"Just drive Kuya Frank. I'm not in the mood." Sagot ko. Seryoso ngayon.

I could see his shock at my reaction. He nodded quietly and immediately got into the driver seat. While we're on the road, I noticed that he often glanced at me from the rear view mirror.

"Stop staring at me. Mababangga tayo kung pagsulyap sulyap ka sa akin." Saway ko.

He quickly shifted his gaze on the road. "Sorry ma'am. Ang seryoso niyo kasi. May nangyari ba sa klase niyo? May naka-away?"

"Wala." Maikling sagot ko.

"Wala naman pala ma'am bakit parang badtrip kayo?" Natatawang tanong niya.

My forehead furrowed at his question.

Bakit nga ba ako badtrip? I shouldn't be, right? Okay naman ang araw ko. Wala naman akong nakasalubong na kaaway o mga plastic na tao sa daan. Umiling ako. Pake niya ba.

"Malamang dahil nakita ko na naman ang mukha mo." Sagot ko nalang.

Mas natawa siya at namilog ang mga mata na sinulyapan ako salamin. "Grabe ka naman sa akin, ma'am. Dapat nga matuwa pa kayo dahil good bives ako lagi. Dapat ganun din kayo. Para every day happy."

"Tss." I shook my head and looked out at the window.

Kahit kaylan talaga hindi mapigilan na magsalita ang isang ito. Good mood man ako o hindi, wala sa kanyang epekto. Basta lang ba memasabi na kung ano, ayos na sa kanya.

Pumasok ako ng mansyon at tila nawala ang pagod ko ng makita si Nanang na masayang nakikipag usap kay Nesa sa kusina habang nagluluto ito. Umawang ang labi ni Nesa ng makita ako. Sinenyasan ko naman siya na wag mag-ingay. Naitikom niya ang labi at sinulyapan si Nanang na patuloy sa nagpapaliwanag patungkol sa luto na ginawa ni Nesa.

"Hindi kumakain ng okra ang batang 'yun. Kaya huwag mong lalagyan ng okra itong sinigang. Dahil hindi niya yan kakainin."

Ngumuso ako sa sinabi ni Nanang. Pero nagpatuloy ako sa paghakbang palapit sa kanya.

"Ito nalang na kangkong ang ilagay mo at--"

Napasinghap si Nanang ng mabilis ko siyang yakapin mula sa kanyang likuran.

"Sus maryusep kang bata ka!" Nagugulat na sambit ni Nanang pagkatapos akong malingunan at tapikin sa braso dahil sa ginawa kong panggugulat. Narinig ko ang paghagikhik ni Nesa.

Natawa ako sa reaksyon niya at sinilip ang gulat niyang mukha. "Aatakihin ako sa'yo."

Ngumuso ako at sinulyapan ang niluluto niya. "Talagang marami kang alam sa akin Nanang. Hindi ko alam na alam mo na ayaw ko ng okra." Nakangising sambit ko.

"Syempre alam ko. Lagi mo itong itinatabi noon kapag kumakain ka kaya alam ko."

"Si ma'am talaga. Masarap naman ang okra. Bakit ayaw mo ma'am?" Humahagikhik na tanong ni Nesa.

Pasiring ko siyang sinulyapan. "Madulas eh." Sagot ko.

Mas lalo siyang natawa. Inirapan ko naman.

"O siya sige. Magbihis ka na bago kumain ng panggabihan." Aniya ni Nanang na tinanguan ko naman.

"Thank you for the food Nanang. Si daddy po?" Tanong ko ng matapos ako sa pagbihis at makababa ng hagdan saka dumeretso sa dining area.

"Nasa trabaho pa. Hindi pa umuuwi." Sagot niya na tinanguan ko nalang.

Ano pa bang bago? Kaylan nga ba ang huling beses naming magkasama na kumain. Hindi ko na maalala. Kaylan ko ba siya huling nakita at nakausap ng harapan? hindi ko na din maalala.

After I ate, I went to my room to rest and do my assignments and take home activities after, until I heard the car horn outside of our house. I stood up to see if Daddy had come home.

Hinawi ko ang kortina at sumilip sa labas ng bintana para silipin ang nasa baba ng garahe. A car came in and saw that it was my father's car.

Lumapit siya sa isang kasambahay namin na sinalubong siya at may tinanong. When he looked up at my room I immediately closed the curtain. Maybe he asked her if I was already at home.

Lagi naman siyang ganyan. Tatanongin ang mga katulong kung nakauwi na ako, pero ni minsan ay hindi niya naman ako binisita sa kwarto ko, o kahit tanongin man lang kung kumusta ang araw ko. Kaya hindi ko maintindihan ang Ama ko. Hindi ko alam kung may pakialam ba siya sa akin, hindi niya naman kasi ipinaparamdam sa akin.

I sighed and decided to continue with my homework.

Kinaumagahan ay tinanghali ako ng gising. I went down to our living area and saw that Daddy had just come out of the double door. My lips parted, I'm about to call him but I stopped myself when he quickly entered to his car followed by his bodyguard and a driver.

Nakagat ko ang labi ko at walang emosyon na tinungo ang dining area. After I got dressed, I took a shower and fixed myself before I quickly went to school.

I wanted him to noticed me, I wanted him to take care of me, I wanted him to leave his job for once just so he can have a time with me. But then for a hundred times, I told to myself... ano pa ba ang aasahan ko?