At the Break of Dawn

The day when the curse and blessing started to clash.

‘His name is Oir,’ my mama said as I kept looking at the little, chubby bear cub in front of me. She kept lecturing me on different things, but I could not keep my attention locked on her, I was too busy adoring the little fluffy ball she held in her hands. ‘So… We can keep him?!’ I said, trying to not sound too excited. My mama sighed and paused ‘Yes, Heldebjorge, we will keep him. As of today, Ori is your responsibility.’ I could not believe it! I had a companion now! Oh, I was so excited. I immediately started to think about how I should train him to do all kinds of things! Maybe one day he would be able to talk our language!

My mama was looking at me as I had already started playing with the cub. ‘Heldebjorge, remember, you have to take care of this cub just like Ijna would.’ That one sentence made Ori even more important to me. Just like Ijna… That day I promised I would take care of him just like Ijna would.

My sixth day of birth had come to an end but I was still tingling with excitement. I could not fall asleep and kept quietly playing with Ori who, unlike me, looked very drowsy. That night I wondered about something that I never had wondered about before. Why did mama never talk about the other humans living in the nearby village? Was she afraid of them? Or maybe… We were too different from them?

When I had found Ori yesterday, I accidentally saw another child looking at the cave where I was from one of the fields. She kept looking at me and then suddenly started to cry and ran away. Why did she do that? Could she have been scared of Ori? But Ori was so adorable! It could not have been him. Then... Was it me who she was scared of? I was so caught up in my thoughts I had not noticed that the break of dawn was here. The break of dawn was scarier than the night at the Eternal Frost Cave because at the break of dawn the lingering warrior souls who roamed this land could become demons that feed on human flesh. My mama had once said ‘Do you see what awful beings humans can be? Once a human, the warrior soul which refused to abandon its wanderlust and bloodlust is forever trapped to roam this cold land. A human by morning, a dead man by evening, a soul by night and a demon at the break of dawn. The cycle of the warrior is vicious.’ I understood very little of what mama meant by that, but I never said anything to her. She was so serious when she said it that it made me feel sad.

I slowly drifted to sleep and tried not to think of the pitiful souls that roamed. It was their choice to not abandon their desires behind, it was their choice to be kept as prisoners in the territory which is governed by the sleeping god. I could not help them.

The next day my mama said that she had noticed rare herbs that grew near the cave where I found Ori. I giddily asked her if we would go pick them and add them to our new garden. My mama said she saw no harm in that as the villagers usually did not come this close to the mountain where the Eternal Frost Cave was so they would be safe. This suddenly made me think of the child I had seen. I got a very bad feeling in my tummy. It was the same feeling that I get when something bad is about to happen. I shrugged it off and thought about what could go wrong if my mama was here. Now I just wish I had told her of my feeling…

When we went to the small cave where Ori was found we were greeted by many humans. Greeted was not the right word… It was more like surrounded. I suddenly heard a loud voice booming through the crowd ‘SIX YEARS, HELDE! SIX YEARS!’ I covered my ears and hid behind my mama. ‘’Tell me, have you been hiding with your so-called lover all this time? Where could you have hidden so well? I thought you would be dead by now!’ I disliked how this man spoke to my mama and I was about to protest when suddenly my mama said, ‘What do you want, Bjorgon! I thought you would leave us alone by now.’ She said in a cold and stern voice, one that I had never heard my mother use.

‘Leave you alone? No. You were hiding too well. I assume the child behind your back is mine. Or is it a bastard child you had with your other man?!’ He kept spouting nonsense. I was no bastard child! I was my mother’s child! ‘Stop with your twisted imagination, Bjorgon, just leave us be.’ My mama said, still trying to sound confident, but I could feel her legs shaking. I knew my mama was scared. Just who was this man?!

‘You are coming back to the village, Helde. Since I have a wife already, you can be my mistress.’ He said to my mama in a disgusting tone. ‘In your dreams!’ She answered and kept shielding me. The next thing we knew we were both captured and tied up. The villagers brought us to the village and placed us both in their prison. ’You sit there and think about it, Helde. What would be best for your daughter!’ I heard the man's voice boom through the hallway one last time as the door was locked shut and the only presence in the dark space were my mother, me and the two guards.

‘Do not worry, Heldebjorge, everything will be ok. Mama will get us out of this situation.’ My mama tried to reassure me, but I knew that it was almost impossible. We knew no one who could help us out and I was getting more and more confused by the second. I was also worried about Ori. He was still a cub and since I and mama left, he was stuck in our garden, all alone!

The day passed and it was nightfall. The two guards had fallen asleep. My mother tried to take the ties off of her limbs and so did I. We almost did it, but we had to stay in the same position as if we were tied because a lady wearing a hood snuck inside the prison. I could not see her face, not that it mattered because I would not know her.

‘So you are alive, Helde!’ She said, facing my mother. Did they know each other? ‘Yes, alive and well. You do not look so well, Ingrid! Did Bjorgon keep using you after the first time when he made you lie to me so I would return to the village?’ She chucked and then smiled viciously, looking at both me and my mother. ‘You filthy tramp! If only you would have died! After the day you ran away I spent months trying to get through Bjorgon! I spent so long to prove to him that I was the woman he needed, not you!’ She said in a louder voice, leaving me wondering what had happened. What I was wondering the most about, however, was the reason why the guards were not getting up when there was ruckus this big. ‘ Do not worry, I drugged them. They will not be able to tell a soul that I was here! And neither will you...’ She laughed as she poured the bottle of alcohol all over the floor in front of our cellar and dropped her torch in it. ‘Goodbye, Helde!’ She said as she disappeared behind the flames which were starting to spread more and more, burning everything in the room.

‘Mama...What do we do?’ I asked her as I looked up at her. ‘Scream for help. There is no other way to save ourselves.’ And so we did. I heard people screaming outside the prison. Men shouting to bring water, children crying and women screaming. It was not long until my mama passed out. ‘Mama? Mama, what is wrong? This is no time to sleep!’ I told her, my naive self believing that we would be ok, that we would survive.

I will never forget how that night the flames caught my mother right in front of my eyes. I will never forget how she burned right in front of me. I will never forget how I could not shed a tear but I felt my heart c***k. That night, the flames avoided me because my small being was dripping with wicked ice-cold hate. The flames around me froze. My eyes had started to become more vibrant. I felt cold… so cold… I needed warmth but all I could feel was burning… Burning… because I felt ice so cold that it burned.

I knew my mother was gone. I was angry and I was sad, but I could not cry. When I came out of the frozen flames the villagers stared gaping at me. It was dead silence when I simply walked through the crowd, carrying some of my mother’s ashes in my hand. ‘DEMON!’ some shouted at me. ‘NO! SHE IS A WITCH!’ Others shouted. ‘KILL HER!’ Another shouted as they began to throw rocks at me. I did not care, they could throw all they wanted. Nothing will hurt as bad as losing my mama to these monsters because of their envy and greed.

I walked back to our hut and placed my mother’s ashes in one of the clay pots she had taught me to make. ‘Mama. You said not to keep hatred in my heart. I know you said you lost yours. Now I see the hatred you were speaking of. Mama, let me, Heldebjorge the Ice-cold, your daughter, inherit your hatred and turn it into mine.’ I spoke to her ashes. I made a promise to myself and my mother. I, Heldebjorge, will get revenge.

At this instant, I was more aware of everything. I could hear my surroundings, I could hear the ruthless northern wind rushing through the treetops. I could hear the northern sea waves clashing against each other in a never-ending battle for dominance. I could feel every little detail in my northern land. I was no longer how I used to be before. Was I a demon now? No. My soul was still here. Was I a witch then? Very well.

At the break of the dawn, when the demons arise, I gave birth to my new name, I, Heldebjorge the Ice-cold, will be known as the Heldebjorge, The Witch of The North.