At the Break of Dawn

She who created her child from wicked ice-cold hate.

I was running… I was running with my newborn in my hands. My love, my heart, my soul. I was running from the ones who I used to live among. I was running to the den of the sleeping god, the Eternal Frost Cave. I abandoned all my fear, for I had someone to whom I cannot show my fear. My daughter was with me, still silent and calm, like the last stream of water flowing before it freezes over from the cold.

I ran to my hut near the Eternal Frost Cave, my sanctuary where I had lived for a month before being captured by Bjorgon and his trickery. But he and his men were running after me with angry shouts and fire as if they were hunting down a criminal as if I was guilty of a crime. Suddenly… the shouts stopped. It became silent once again. I was wondering what had happened, but I kept running to my hut. Once I got there, it was silent. I could not even hear footsteps in the snow, only my harsh breathing split through the silence and the cold air. ‘Do not worry, my child, your mother will protect you.’ I whispered to her and went into my small hut.

From the outside, the hut was covered in snow, almost invisible to those who do not know of its existence. Only the fence I had made from scattered branches was visible around it. The inside of the hut was cold and dark, but I knew this is the only place where I could have stayed. I had to think about moving from this place, I had to think about running away because Bjorgon is not the one to feel fear of the Eternal Frost Cave. He is not the one to fear the wrath of the sleeping god.

I lit a small fire to keep warm and I looked at my child, her small form still covered in blankets. She had opened her eyes, it made me scared. How and when did she open them? What happened? But what scared me, even more, was how her eyes glimmered light blue in the dark, how they looked almost lifeless upon gazing at them. I held her close and kissed her forehead. ‘Do not worry, my child, I will take care of you until the cold takes away my last breath.’ I whispered to her, holding her tightly so she would feel warm.

Days have passed. My child seems to be surviving well, even though the cold is getting harsher by each passing day. I do not have enough food here to survive much longer so I need to find a way how to obtain food. I stayed up all night thinking about how to obtain food. Should I go back to the village? If they see me, who knows what Bjorgon has told them now… What if they see me like a dark magic-user? What if they see me as a dead ghoul who came back to revenge for herself? Revealing myself to them was not an option. Should I steal food? Hah, seems so funny for me, a person who has always been oh so righteous. Maybe I should look around the territory of the cave? But what if I wake the sleeping god? I still need to take care of my child.

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard a knock on the door. I suddenly sat up and started to wonder who could it be. Could Bjorgon finally found my hut? But he would not knock then! Knock, knock. My thoughts were interrupted once again. The person is still there. Could it be the maiden that made me fall into Bjorgon’s hands the first time? Kock, knock. The third time. As weird as it may seem, I did not feel fear from this so I went up to the door. If it was one of the demons who lurk around the Eternal Frost Cave, it would be better to fall into its hands than Bjorgon’s.

I opened the door and saw a large white wolf with a scar across his right eye. My mind could not comprehend the situation. I knew I should be feeling scared, but I was not. I was calm and peaceful, just like my child was when I first saw her ice-blue eyes. I let the wolf inside my hut. He came in, slowly, looking around the place and sniffing the air. He kept looking around until he fixed his gaze on my child. Did he want to eat her? No, if he was hungry, he would have attacked me first.

The wolf went close to my child and showed the blankets off from her. They stared at each other, she with her ice-blue eyes and he with his onyx ones. I could only stand on the side and watch how he stared at my child. ‘Helde, I am happy to see you are doing fine.’ I froze from hearing someone talk. I looked around to see if anyone was here, but there was no one. ‘Tell me, can I help you somehow?’ There it was again! The deep, calm voice that could soothe all the fear in me. I looked around once again and then I finally understood. I must have left a demon in my hut after all. Now my eyes were on the wolf. ‘What do you want from me and my daughter?’ I told him, looking sternly on his dark, fur-covered body.

‘Nothing at all just came to check up on you. Seems like you are running low on food.’ He said, looking at me. I sat down and silence took over. I felt uncomfortable as if the next thing he will say will be something bad as if it will change the way I am and so it did.

‘You… Your child… Do you know why her eyes are ice blue? Do you know why she is so calm and you have yet to see her tears?’ The wolf asked as he lied down and looked at me. I remained silent, I could not answer these questions and something told me that these questions are not to be answered. ‘Your mother told you to not have hate in your heart, but you did not listen. You kept this hate and filled your heart with it. Tell me. Do you know where your hate is now?’ I burrowed my eyebrows and wanted to ask about it, but I did not. ‘She,’ he looked at my daughter ‘She who was born from wicked ice-cold hate now holds it. But do not worry. She does not feel it, she holds it.’ I was shocked and confused, I did not care whether the answers to my questions would change me forever. I wanted to know… ‘How do I rid her of this wicked hate?’ I asked the wolf in a silent voice, feeling ashamed of myself for not listening to the words of my late mother. ‘That is something that she has to figure out herself. Not me, nor you.’ He said and stood up. ‘Since she was born on the sleeping god’s lands, do not fret. The god will see her as his person. No one will harm her as long as she is in his territory. But be warned, because once she leaves this place, it is her against the world.’ He said and ran outside of my hut.

‘Born from wicked ice-cold hate, huh?’ I looked at my now sleeping daughter as tears started to roll down my face. How I wished that I could take away the hate because that feeling is something I would never wish upon even my worst enemies. I started to stroke her little head ‘What should I name you, dear?’ I looked at her for a long while and said ‘You will be named Heldebjorge the Ice-cold. The ‘bjorge’ in your name stands for the man I held such tremendous hate towards, you ended up inheriting it. It will serve you as a reminder that having hate in your heart will taint your love, your heart and your soul. Helde is my name so you shall be reminded that even though you may make mistakes, you will try to survive and move towards for someone you love. Heldebjorge, my daughter, I hope this name serves you well.’ I finished and heard her laugh. The first emotion I had seen from my daughter, it was laughter.

At that moment, I had forgotten what I had gone through and I knew that I need to protect her no matter what.