Expressionless
Sylvie
This isn’t real. No, no, no. It can’t be real.
But it was.
I felt like my lungs had collapsed, like the air had been sucked out of the room. A cold sensation filled my spine, freezing me in place. My chest hurts but not the way I am used to. Not like the silent pain I have had to endure from Maryann and Emily’s attitude towards me and their manipulation.
This pain felt different, it looked different as well. This is betrayal.
A strangled sound escaped my throat, something between a gasp and a sob. At that moment, Logan pulled away from Kate, his brows furrowing as his gaze met mine.
His face was expressionless, not even a slight review of guilt. Like he wanted this to happen.
Kate turned her head, eyes widening when she saw me. She whispered something—maybe my name, but I wasn’t listening. A ringing sound filled my ears, drowning everything out.
“Dr. Rhodes, Dr. Rhodes…..” her voice sounded like an echo but I didn’t respond. I stared at the expressionless face of my husband.
“Wh-what’s going on here?” I stammered. Those were the only words I could think of.
“Oh. This is my boyfriend, Logan,” Kate spoke and it felt like the room was on a standstill. “He is the reason why I didn’t give up. I had to find my way back to him.”
I scoffed, “Darling, I brought you back,” I said inward. I looked at Logan, his face remained the same.
“Do you want to tell her or should I?” I asked and he glared at me. That’s a change at least.
He took Kate to the side of the room, I could tell they were talking about me because of the look on her face. After a while, Kate walked up to me.
Pah! The slap came out of nowhere. My head snapped to the side, my cheek burning.
“How dare you seduce him?!” she yelled.
“Seduce?” I repeated, blinking in disbelief. “He is my husband!” I yelled.
She turned around to look at Logan, who nodded at her.
“Husband my foot. The only reason he would ever marry someone like you was because of me,” she said and I had a flashback of when he called our marriage one of convenience. So he was getting something out of this.
It had never been about me. Or my family’s hospital.
It was about Kate.
Me treating his girlfriend. How could I have been manipulated? This is the reason why he objected to me changing the course of her treatment.
My vision blurred, and for a moment, I thought I might collapse right there on the cold tile floor of my office. My fingers trembled as I reached up to touch my burning cheek. The sting of Kate’s slap was nothing compared to the deep, twisting agony in my chest.
I turned my gaze back to Logan, desperate for some form of denial, some sign that this wasn’t what it seemed. But all I saw was indifference. Cold, unbothered, detached.
The man I had called my husband, the man I had built a life with, stood there like a stranger. Worse, like a stranger who had never intended to be anything more.
“You… used me?” My voice cracked, but I refused to let the tears spill. Not yet.
Kate smirked. “You don’t get it, do you? Logan never loved you. He was with you because he needed someone to ensure I got better. And you were just so… easy to manipulate.” She let out a short, mocking laugh, shaking her head like she pitied me.
I inhaled sharply. My head was spinning, my body felt weightless, detached from reality. But I clenched my fists, willing myself to stand firm.
“And you?” I turned to Logan, my voice sharper now, fueled by the betrayal. “You let me believe we were building something real? You let me…..” My breath hitched. “How could you do this to me, I'm your wife,” I cried out.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Finally, a reaction.
“You were never my wife, just a means to an end,” Logan said to me without so much as a glance. I watched as he smoothed his lover before my face. He comforted her. Not me, his wife.
I let out a shaky laugh, filled with humor. “So that’s it? I was the convenient choice? A means to an end?”
Logan’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t answer.
Kate folded her arms, her eyes gleaming with triumph. “Now that I’m back, we don’t need you anymore.”
“Besides, I’m not the only one at fault here,” he said and I arched my eyebrows.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask him.
“Maryann and Emily know everything. They helped plan this. So I’m not the only one you should be mad with,” he said with his hands in his pocket and without care.
“Wait, baby,” Kate spoke. “Isn’t she the one with the crush on you in high school?” she asked. Logan nodded and they bursted out laughing.
Something inside me snapped. He knew, all this while. He knew I was in love with him. How could he do this to me?
A deep sense of humiliation coursed through my veins, but beneath it was something stronger. Anger. A fire ignited deep in my gut.
I stepped forward, my heels clicking against the tile as I squared my shoulders. “You think this is funny?” I asked, my voice calm, almost eerily so. Logan and Kate’s laughter faded slightly as they glanced at each other.
“I gave everything to this marriage. I was loyal, I was kind, and I was patient. And you,” I pointed at Logan, my voice sharp like a blade. “You played me. Lied to me. Used me.”
Logan smirked, unfazed. “It wasn’t that hard.”
I clenched my fists, forcing myself to remain composed. “Enjoy your victory while you can,” I whispered, my voice steady despite the storm raging inside me. “Because I promise you, Logan, you will regret this.”
Kate scoffed. “Oh please, what could you possibly do?”
I smiled then, a slow, knowing smile. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
With that, I turned and walked out. My heels clicked against the tile, and I stood tall, despite the turmoil inside me. I didn’t stop until I reached the locker room.
Then the tremors started.
I pressed my hands against the cool metal of my locker, breathing through the raw ache in my chest. The laughter. The indifference.
The betrayal.
No. I wouldn’t break down here. Not in this place, not for them.
I left the hospital without looking back, driving home in a daze. The moment I stepped inside, I went straight to my desk, my fingers shaking as I pulled open the drawer.
There it was.
The divorce papers. The ones that had sat untouched for two years, buried beneath old medical notes and forgotten dreams.
A tear slipped down my cheek, but I wiped it away before it could stain the page. My hands trembled as I picked up the pen.
Then, with one deep breath, I signed.
I had nothing left to hold onto.
But I had everything to move forward with.
And I would.
I would rise from this.