Hard to love

12

SEPTEMBER'S POV

I can't do this. I can't. No. I won't.

My mind started repeating same thing over and over again as Zachary guided me inside his room. My heart raced up and forcefully I clenched my eyes shut. No.

I couldn't let him touch me. I-I.. The only thought of being with him in one room made my heart constricted then how am I going to survive his filthy hands all over my body?

" Welcome to my room wife which from now is our where every night I am going to f-ck you." He said and the only thought which crossed my mind was to pull that gun out from his waistband and shoot him. 

Really? Then why you saved his life in the first place?

I couldn't do this. Part of me had already died since the day my family and Hunter were killed and tonight I know he'll kill the left of me by his dirty touch. If only I can run away from him, if only.

I let my eyes roam over the walls of his room which were painted black. Really, black? At least he could have done was to paint his room decent which might not match with his personality but still. I shake off that thought and found the dim lightning in his room. Door, window, everything was black. This monster is obsessed with black or what? Blinking twice, I looked at the huge bed which was big enough to let various persons sleep together. Hmm..he might be into threesome or something involving various partners for s*x. Wow great guess September!

The mattress was also of black color. Fun. Rolling my eyes slightly at the pathetic condition of his room which was all dark and dangerous, I swallowed my saliva in fear. The strange vibe around his room full of darkness was enough for me to feel shiver of terror down my spine.

If only Chris and Claire was not here then maybe I have a chance to defend him. But now after that he had already put them on his gunpoint just to make me submit to him, it seems like I only have once choice and that is to simply follow what he wants.

I love both Claire and Chris with my heart and I had promised myself that for saving them I can go to any extent.

" Cry however you want, I don't give a sh*t about it but if you didn't do what I say then trust me my dear wife I will not think twice before killing them." 

His venomous voice forced me into my ugly reality and that's when I realizes that my face was covered with tears of my shattered life. I quickly wiped them away as his penetrating eyes stared at me. My body shivered in fear as he mentioned about killing Chris and Claire.

" No. P-Please. D-Dont. I will d-do any..anything." Shuttering over my words I pleaded in weak tone and tried harder to control the fresh tears which were ready to find their way.

His lips broke down into tainted smirk and with that he walked to the bed and lie down on his back with his arms crossed beneath his head. His eyes never left my face and all he did was to stare at me while fear was getting at it's best in me as every seconds passes by.

" Strip." He said and I blinked my eyes to register his words.

" W-What?" I asked unsure of what he said and that's when he chuckled humorlessly.

He didn't said anything for few passing minutes except staring me and when I have enough of looking into his direction, I slowly fixed my eyes on the floor. In the room full of dangerous aura and that too with the criminal lying on the bed, nothing could feel more scary. 

To my periphery I found him bringing an elite cigarette to his lips and then placing it in between them. Next he lighten it and took one blow inside. After few minutes the dirty breath blocking smell of his burning cigarette reached my nostril. I scrunched up my nose in disgust and closed my eyes to calm down my rapid breath.

" I said remove your clothes." My eyes snapped at him as he rolled out those words from his mouth. I froze at my place and stared at him, dumbfounded.

He raised his eyebrows whilst exhaling cigarette's smoke. " I don't like repeating same thing over and over again."

I nodded weekly and looked over my fingers which were shaking. Come on September, you can do this. After a broken deep breath and with trembling fingers I unzipped my wedding gown but the second I thought of removing that gown from my body, automatically I stilled. Come on only for Chris and Claire. Chanting their name over and over again, I pressed my eyes shut then in swift moment, the gown was lying on the floor. His gaze moved shamelessly all over my body from up to down. That animalistic hungers which was reflecting from them was enough for me to shiver again in panic.

" Let your hairs down." With sweating fingers I followed his words into action and untied my hair from a hold of bun.

" Pick that red dress from the table and wear it." He commanded and simply like a puppet, I turned around. There was a box on the table in which the red dress was kept. It was blood red. Controlling the urge to kill this flithy criminal, I wore that dress.

In one word if I have to describe the dress then it would be slutty. Slutty enough to feel disgusted by it. The dress stick to my body like a second skin and I must add that it was barely covering my body. At this moment I felt like a w***e. Well maybe I am after all which respected woman strip herself in front of the person whom she hates most.

" Why don't you entertain me baby?"

" Dance. It would be heaven for my eyes to watch the almost naked body of my wife dancing on some dirty lyrics." He added whilst grabbing his cellphone and put some nasty song on play. I bite my trembling lips and looked at him helplessly.

" W-Why? Why don't you just kill me?" I asked in a cracking voice. It would be better to die then to let him humiliate my dignity.

Which sin? Which sin I've had ever done to let this monster treat me this way? Why me? Why god? Why you've taken more then you gave? Am I that bad to deserve this hell?

"You need to learn how not to open your mouth in front of me unless-" He paused and licked his bottom lip.

He stood up from the bed and came closer to me. My heart sank in the pit of my stomach but all I could do was to watch him in horror.

" On your knees." 

He spoke well more like ordered. I blinked in confusion and held my eyes up to his.

" ON YOUR F-CKING KNEES, NOW."

I nodded, dumbfounded and sat on my knees with my breath getting abnormal due to his harsh tone. His face didn't show any expression but that little ruthless glint in his eyes were enough for me to know that how much unhappy he was with my earlier comment.

How many times I've told you September to not run your tongue? Now suffer.

He bend a little and ran his finger over my lips making me shudder in disgust. I clenched my fist to stop myself from shoving his disgusting finger away. He released a sharp breath then returned back to his original position.

" Be ready to witness their corpse if you won't be able to make me cum." He said as his finger reached his Denim's zipper.

I froze at my place and suddenly it became harder for me to breath. The only thing which ran over my mind was his word 'corpse'. The image of dead bodies of my dad, Hunter and Cherry flashed and automatically tears stung down my cheeks. After everything, I couldn't let him to kill my Claire and Chris.

He raised his eyebrow and gestured towards his d-ck which was now out of his Denim. A shiver to disgust rushed to my spine at the sight of that. 

How I am going to please him when I know nothing? I will never be able to fulfil what he wanted and then he will k-kill... No. Stop, September. You have to do it, not for him but for Claire and Chris.

I closed my eyes and mentally pictured the smiling faces of them and then opened my eyes. My heart started drumming louder and I touched his thick shaft with my trembling fingers. The warm skin of his d**k came in contact with my cold fingers. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I should have never lied to him about my virginity.

He will kill them.

I let my tears down and stared at my fingers, helplessly. What I am supposed to do?

" Don't tell me that you f-cking don't know what to do." His annoyed voice caused me to shook my head with my heart ready to jump out of my throat.

" Never given a b-owjob to your Hunter?" 

He let out Hunter name in bitterness. I resisted the urge to scream at his face that my boyfriend was not a disgusting s**t like him to force me into something.

" Well I don't give a s**t about it. Suck my

f-cking c*ck and if you would be unable to make me c*m then I swear you'll find two more blood shedding bodies of your loved ones." He spat in one breath and clicked his tongue.

A trembling sob escaped my lips and without thinking next I wrapped my fingers around the skin of his d-ck. I closed my eyes and rubbed it slowly.

I eyed his face but it was completely blank. There was not a single hint of pleasure. My eyes burned with more tears after realizing my failed attempts to satisfy him. 

Now he will kill them also.

Panik struck in my chest and my knees gave up making me fall on the floor. 

I am useless, good for nothing. I can not even make him satisfy enough to save Chris and Claire. Now he will also kill them. My body started shaking in fear as the images of him pointing gun at them formed in my head.

The fear, pain, hatred, every dark emotion caused my body numb and all I did was to cry silently without making any sound. The hard sobs came to my lips but I swallowed them and bite my lips so hard that the metallic taste of blood touched my mouth.

" I-I..s-sorry, ple-please..don't k-kill..them."

I mumbled under my breath and clenched my eyes shut. A worst kind of headache hit me and my body started sweating in fear. I struggled for breathing and clenched the hem of my dress in between my finger due to burning sensation which was going through my lungs.

I stood up and quickly rushed towards the bathroom as the sudden wave of nausea hit me. Whatever I had eaten since morning starting coming out of my throat.

I rinsed my mouth after few minutes of vomiting which felt like infinity and looked straight into the mirror.

The woman in the reflection was hardly covered. Her bra was completely visible through that red dress which cling over her bare body like second skin. The dress was sticking over her panty making half of her ass on show. Her hairs were disaster and tear imprints were staining on her cheeks making her heavy makeup appearing as a sliding mess. Anything if she was looking then it was horrible. A horrible w***e.

" September?"

I flinched and turned around to meet with those pairs of eyes which were the cause of my every nightmare. I stared into his eye and as I was going to hit the floor due to dizziness, I felt a pair of arms wrapping around me. He took me into his arms and led me to the bed and if I was not still under the pressure of my headache then I might have panicked to the edge.

He put me down on the bed and before I could process anything, he pulled that dress over my head and threw it away. The cold breeze touched my bare skin making me aware of my current situation. I was again only in my undergarments in front of him. My body felt tired enough to response defense in any way. So I let it be. What else he can do right now instead of raping me? I am willing to be raped by him if it will save my remaining family.

" H-Have s-s*x with me b-but please don't k-kill them" 

I whispered, closing my eyes and unclasping my bra. Than I pulled my panty away and sat there like a statue with no piece of clothing covering my body.

I felt hollow. No emotion of disgust, hatred, nothing. Just simple void as if both my mind and body had already given up urge to fight back. I want my family to be alive and nothing else not even my self respect.

I looked at him only to find his eyes fixed on me. Lust was burning in them. I pressed my lips and fixed it on the mattress.

" Lie down." He demanded and I nodded before following his words into action.

This is it. Now he will claim my body by raping me. He will take away that virginity which I always wanted to loose with Hunter after our marriage. I couldn't help but shed my tears all over again at the thought of Hunter.

The bed dip down next to me and I planned myself to get ready for his nasty touch but all I felt was my the soft touch of blanket over my body. Wait. What?

I averted my gaze and found him lying next to me on the bed and pulling a blanket over both of us. I stared at him in confusion when he crossed his arms beneath his head and shutting his eyes closed.

" Z-Zachary?"

" Sleep."

" Sleep before I change my decision and kill them right now."

I hate you Zachary Wilson. I hate you for making me feel a f-cking w***e.

A/N

First of all I am really sorry for the late update.

It was just that due to my hectic schedule I was unable to manage weekly updates of both MTMN and MTMC together.

So I thought to put this story on hold till I finish MTMN.

So now that I've completed writing my another story, I am going to focus on this one.

I promise that from now on, this book will be updated every Sunday.

I am so excited to continue MTMC.

And please don't be a silent reader, drop a comment and vote :)