What Once Was

Chapter Two

The moment I saw him under the warm lights of the restaurant, it was like something short-circuited in my brain. Memories I hadn’t touched in years — ones I thought I’d buried — just came rushing back without permission.

It was the first day of eleventh grade.

The teacher was arranging us by last names, shuffling desks around with military precision, and I ended up beside this boy. Tall, a little too skinny, hooded eyes, thick eyebrows. He looked broody and intimidating, the kind of person who probably didn’t speak unless he had to.

Except he’s the one who started the conversation.

“Hey, are you new? I’ve never seen you around.”

“I’ve been here since seventh grade. I’ve never seen you around either.”

“Funny. I’ve been here since first grade.”

…Was this supposed to be a contest? His tone said friendly, but his words kind of grated on me. Then I noticed him staring at my ID.

“What?” I snapped.

“Your name’s Kate.”

“So?”

“Nothing. Just… Bob was telling me about his friend Kate who read Fifty Shades of Grey in eighth grade.”

Oh god. Bury me alive.

He must’ve read my face because he grinned like a wolf. “Ahh, that was you. Now, why would a fourteen-year-old be reading that?”

I turned away immediately, hoping my blush didn’t give me away.

“I mean, I’m just curious,” he pressed on. “Like… does it turn you on to read words on a page like that? Is it the same as when boys watch—”

“Oh my god, shut up!”

He laughed, wide and unbothered, his dimple making its first appearance. Cute, I thought.

“You’re easy to piss off,” he said, grinning.

“Yeah, so shut up.”

“Okay, ma’am.”

And that was it. Somehow, against all odds, we became friends.

That was eight years ago. I hadn’t thought of Zack in a long time. But sitting here tonight, watching him slide into a seat across from me, the memory hit me so hard it felt real again.

Kaycee shakes my shoulder, snapping me out of whatever daydream I’d fallen into. I blink at her, confused, until I realize everyone’s staring at me.

“They’re asking what you’ve been up to,” she whispers.

“Oh. Uh—well, I’ve been working at St. John’s for a while. As a nurse.”

Gracie rolls her eyes, lifting her beer. “We know, dummy. We mean, like, your personal life. I haven’t seen you date anyone since you-know-who. Unless you’ve just been very private about it.”

I force a smile. “Yeah, I don’t really think relationships are for me.”

Angela leans in, all casual, like she’s just making conversation. “You know what’s crazy? I always thought you and Zack had something going on in high school. Honestly, I was shocked when I found out you were dating Salem.”

The air shifts. My eyes flick to Zack’s for half a second before he beats me to it.

“Nah,” he says easily, “we were just really good friends. Right, Kate?”

My stomach drops. Were we really just friends? Had I imagined everything? Every late-night conversation, every smile that felt like it meant more?

But I’m not about to hand him my pride on a platter. I lift my beer and say, as casually as I can manage, “Yeah.”

The sip burns all the way down.

The table starts thinning out after nine. Chairs scraping, hugs exchanged, promises to “catch up soon” that everyone knows won’t actually happen.

“I’m gonna head out,” Kaycee announces, then leans close enough for only me to hear. “By the way, I think you might wanna talk to mister doctor over there. He’s been staring at the back of your head for the past hour.”

I whip around, and sure enough, Zack immediately looks away. He’s standing by the doorway now, hands in his pockets, like he hadn’t just been sitting at the table earlier. I could’ve sworn he left when a group of his friends did, but apparently not.

By the time I stand, it’s just us. He follows me out, and we end up in front of our cars, about four feet of night air between us.

I force a smile, my heartbeat obnoxiously loud in my ears. “You’re a doctor now?” I ask, aiming for casual, like my heart isn’t trying to claw out of my chest.

He smiles back, faintly. “Like I said, not yet. I’m in med school though.”

I nod. “Living the dream, huh?”

“I guess.”

Silence stretches, heavy and awkward. Finally, I blurt out, “You and Shane still together? Weird you didn’t mention her tonight. You usually do.”

His eyes drop. A sigh escapes. “We broke up. A couple months ago.”

“Oh. Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not like I wasted two years of my life on a girl who was still in love with her ex.”

I wince. “Damn. That must’ve been… hard.”

He looks at me then, really looks, with tired eyes that somehow still make my chest ache. And for a moment I want to reach for him, close the four feet between us—until his voice from earlier cuts through me again.

We were just really good friends. Right, Kate?

All the disappointment rushes back, sharp and bitter.

“It was really good to see you again, Zack,” I manage.

“You too, Kate.”

I retreat to my car. “I’ll, uh… see you around, I guess.”

His reply comes easy, like it’s a promise. “Oh, you will.”

I don’t let myself think about it. Just climb in, turn the key, and crank up Lizzy McAlpine. Her voice fills the car, but when she sings I’m always, forever running back to you, my throat tightens. I jab the button and cut the music off.

The rest of the five-minute drive is silence.

I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

And then I’m there again—bare feet in the sand, the salt in the air, the sky bleeding into shades of orange and pink. I’m laughing at something I can’t remember, something small and stupid, and Zack’s there in front of me. His hand comes up, warm and steady, holding my face like I might break if he let go. He’s smiling, dimple showing, eyes soft in a way I never quite knew what to do with. The whole thing feels hazy, golden—like the kind of memory you don’t realize you’ll replay for years until it’s too late.

And then—

“Nah, we were just really good friends. Right, Kate?”

The words slice through the warmth like cold water. The beach dissolves. His hand disappears.

My alarm screams at 7 a.m.

I roll out of bed, groggy and annoyed, and get ready for another day at St. John’s. By the time I drag myself into the break room, Jan’s already there with her mug of coffee.

“Hey, did you hear?” she says between sips. “A couple of med students from St. Matthew’s are transferring here. Apparently, the Department of Health suspended their accreditation or something. Temporary thing. They’re starting today.”

I blink at her, still not fully awake. “That’s… random. But okay.”

Jan glances toward the door. “Oh, here they are.”

I turn, and there’s a small group of five or six med students filing in, white coats crisp, all looking far too eager for this hour of the morning. And right behind them—

My breath catches.

Zack.

My eyes widen instinctively, but his expression doesn’t falter. He looks calm. Almost like he’d been expecting this.

And just like that, I remember his words from last night.

“I’ll, uh… see you around, I guess.”

“Oh, you will.”