Bound to Burn

11. L.A. River-1

11

L.A. RIVER

SASHA

I Want You to Want Me by Letters To Cleo

I put on some music while I organize the display case. There was a delivery while Cash was gone, and I took the liberty of opening the boxes and rearranging the case to make room. The store looks brighter since I took down those old posters and cleaned the windows.

Used to always moving when I worked at the bar, I felt the need to keep busy when there weren’t any customers. He hasn’t protested about any of the other stuff I’ve done, like dusting all of the shelves, moving the t-shirts to the opposite wall with the racks, or bringing in suckers for some of the kids that come in.

The thought of the suckers brings me back to that moment when he was trying to snatch one from me. His arms caged me in, veins bulging as he gripped the counter on either side of me, but it was the look in his eyes that made heat bloom from my stomach, all the way up to my neck. When his eyes drifted to my lips, I thought he would kiss me.

I wanted him to kiss me.

But he didn’t.

If he hadn’t gotten that phone call, would he have?

The question swirls around on my tongue until I swallow it. I’ve never met someone as complicated as Cash. It’s like peeling away the layers brick by brick, only to be met with another wall.

A nineties remake of an old Cheap Trick song plays in the background, and I push the thoughts out of my mind as I bob my head to the music and sing along. I move through the aisles, busying myself by double checking the order because people always put things back in the wrong place. Shaking my hips to the rhythm of the music, I move along the aisles, spotting a few albums here and there, and replacing them.

Through the window I can see Cash and Jack standing in the parking lot, staring inside. They look conspiratorial as they chat and point until Jack finally rounds the car and gets in while Cash makes his way to the store.

I pull out my phone from my back pocket and turn the music down before he comes in. The bell rings and I look up from the poster I’m tucking back into the correct bin. He looks at me and then at the window where I took all the posters down. “I put all the posters on your desk in case you wanted to keep any of them,” I point out, because I don’t know if any of them have special meaning to him. They were all ripped and faded anyway, blocking out the light.

“Don’t look so worried.” He smiles and looks at the window. “Someone needed to breathe some life into this place.” He makes his way to the back of the store.

I follow him into his office and settle against the doorframe as he looks up at me expectantly.

“I have to leave early on Saturday, if that’s okay?” I ask.

“Surfing competition?” he asks, making an attempt at a joke.

“It’s my grandparent’s fiftieth wedding anniversary, and I’m throwing them a party,” I explain.

He leans back in his chair. “Fifty years, wow, that’s a long time.”

“Yeah, it’s actually pretty special.” I interlace my hands together in front of me.

He places his forearms on the desk, linking his fingers together and staring up at me. “I really meant it, what I said earlier.”

I knit my brows together, wondering where he’s going with this.

“I might have been skeptical at first, but it’s been really great having you work here.”

My eyes must go wide because he chuckles and says, “Don’t look so surprised.”

I finally find my voice. “No, it’s just…” I pause, trying to find the right way to say it, “Well, I appreciate that.” I nod.

We lock eyes, and I feel the pull of the tether between us when he looks at me like that. It’s attraction, but there’s also something deeper.

“About the other day…” he starts to say, but is interrupted by the bell ringing.

We both turn towards the front of the store. It takes me a minute to gather myself, wondering what he was going to say, before I tell him, “I’ll get it.”

Gabriel walks down the aisle, hair slicked back except for those stubborn pieces that fall across his forehead. He’s wearing a white t-shirt that stretches across his chest, the ink snaking up his neck on full display, the colors standing out against the white. The chain from the wallet in his back pocket hits the side of his thigh as he moves. When he sees me, he smiles.

“Hey, cariño,” he says in that cocky tone, the one that would make most girls fall to their knees.

Gabriel is stunning and he’s sweet behind his tough exterior, but I’ve sworn off boys - and Gabriel looks like a heartbreaker. Even so, I can’t help the goofy smile on my face as I greet him.

Cash appears at the front of the store looking between Gabriel and me but it’s the expression on his face that makes my smile deflate.

“Ey,” Gabriel says, tipping his chin to Cash who returns it with a tight smile.

“Where are you off to?” Cash asks casually.

“Gabriel is taking me downtown so I can take pictures of the graffiti art,” I tell him, grabbing my camera from under the counter.

Cash crosses his arms over his chest, showing off tight veins. There is no mistaking the tick in his jaw.

The air is heavy as I stand between both of them, my cheeks heating up. No matter how gorgeous Gabriel is, he is no match for the man that stands opposite me; light stubble on his face, a few specks of grey above his ears, and those stormy grey eyes that bore into me.

“Those are rough neighborhoods,” he says to Gabriel as if I’m not even in the room.

Gabriel c***s his head, his lip tilting at the edges. “She’ll be with me,” he tells Cash, as if this makes a difference, and somehow I think it does, like being with him makes me untouchable. He shifts his weight, causing the chain at his hip to rattle.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine with Gabriel,” I laugh nervously because Cash is acting like a dad right now, and I’m not sure what to make of it.

“It’s not safe.” He ignores me and continues talking to Gabriel.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow, the scar becoming more prominent. “I’ll take good care of our cariño.” He juts out his chin and slides his eyes to me.

Cash’s eyes narrow to slits, and I can see the rapid pulse in his neck as he visibly bristles.

“Ready to go?” I ask Gabriel. He nods and we walk down the aisle towards the door.

“Sasha, you’re not leaving with him.” The tone Cash uses stops me in my tracks.

I motion for Gabriel to wait for me outside and I turn to Cash. He’s being unreasonable and speaking completely out of line.

“You’re not my father.” I cross my arms stubbornly. “I thought we already established that.”

He purses his lips, perhaps holding back what he really wants to say.

“You don’t know Gabriel,” he tells me.

“That may be true, but I’m a pretty good judge of character and I trust him.”

“Sasha…” He all but growls my name.

It feels like he’s staking a claim on something that isn’t his.

“I’m a big girl and I can take of myself.”

“I don’t doubt that, but…” he doesn’t finish.

“But what? Is there another reason I shouldn’t go with him?” I challenge.

I can see the flash of what might be jealousy in his eyes, but with him, I can’t tell for sure. He keeps everything locked up inside and it’s confusing. One minute he looks like he’s going to kiss me, and the next, fire me. I just want him to say it, admit it, that he doesn’t want me to go with Gabriel because he feels something for me, but I can already tell he isn’t going to do that.

So I open the door and walk out, feeling the heat of his stare on my back.

Gabriel leans against my Jeep, one ankle crossed over the other as he smiles at me. I know I’m in trouble with this one, but it doesn’t stop me from leaving with him.

Before I pull out of the parking lot, I ask Gabriel, “Where to?”

“Ever seen the L.A. River?” Gabriel asks, smiling brightly.

“No, but I think I’m about to,” I say excitedly.